By Wanyun, Taiwan
Every time when I listen to the hymn of life experience “I Will Love God to Eternity,” I feel so moved. When I was at my lowest ebb and felt my life hopeless, God saved me. I am a new believer of the Church of Almighty God. Before I accepted God’s work of the last days, my mother’s illness made my life a misery, and I was in perplexity and pain. I didn’t know how I should live, much less know what my life would be. It was God’s words that guided me out of the abyss of misery so that I saw the hope of living and understood the greatest wisdom is to rely on God and look unto Him.
Not long after my father passed away in the summer of 1997, my mother began to suffer from chronic insomnia and live in fear and unease, afraid of being abandoned by me or by my younger sister. This eventually caused her to have dysautonomia and severe auditory hallucinations. In the spring of 2015, she often lost her mind, smashing things with anything she picked up, and even beating me and my younger sister, but she refused to see a doctor. After my father died, there were only my mother, my younger sister, and I in my family. Faced with my mother’s unstable mental condition and her refusal to see a doctor, I really didn’t know what I should do. Many times when I tried to persuade her to go and receive treatment, she not only didn’t listen to me, but even beat me. For that reason, I often cried in secret, having no one to pour out my misery to. With my mother’s condition getting worse and worse, my work was also affected badly. She often called the police, saying her money had been stolen, and she also often wandered strangely back and forth in front of the building we lived in when I was at work in the daytime. So that when I was busy with my work, I also had to handle the complaints from the police and the janitor of the building. My life was totally in a mess and I simply couldn’t do my job. Misunderstanding from my colleagues, ridicule from my friends and relatives, and strange eyes of our neighbors made me extremely distressed. Additionally, my mother’s condition was getting ever more unstable, so I felt I almost cracked up. Later, her mental condition got even worse: She often stayed up all night, keeping murmuring to herself, and sometimes she even shouted abuse at what she heard (which I couldn’t hear). When she was in her worst condition, she even opened the window and attempted to jump off the building. My mother’s condition made me physically and mentally exhausted and gave me great pain, and I couldn’t live a normal life at all. I knew my mother had suffered a lot for the family and us, so I didn’t have the heart to have anything done to her forcibly. As long as she didn’t hurt others, I only wanted to persuade her to receive treatment so that she could spend the rest of her days in peace. But her condition went from bad to worse, and I felt my life was meaningless. …
One day when I was browsing on Facebook, I came across a video of the hymn “God Is Seeking Your Heart and Your Spirit” and was deeply attracted by the title. I heard the words in this hymn: “You live with no hope. He lives with no aim. There’s only the Holy One in the legend, there is only the Holy One in the legend who’ll come to save those who moan in suffering and long desperately for His arrival. … And when you are feeling weary, and when you begin to feel the desolation, the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time.”
Instantly I was moved by the lyrics to tears, feeling like I was a lone boat floating in the sea finally finding a haven to berth at. I thought, “Right! When I was young, my father told me stories about the , and that man was created by God and can always depend on God. Why have I never thought of relying on God?!” So I invited Zheng Yuhan from Italy, who had uploaded the video, to be my friend on Facebook. After she accepted my invitation, I shared with her what I had felt when hearing the hymn. At my words, she kept saying, “Thank God!” Then she told me, “God created the heavens and earth and all things, and created human beings, and He views us human beings as close to Him. After we were tempted and corrupted by Satan, we lost our original innocence and joy, living in corruption and pain. However, God has never given up saving us. In the last days, He became flesh once again to express His words to save us, to awaken us who have slept deeply so long.” At her words, I felt God’s sincere feelings toward us human beings and decided to have a good talk with her. I also wanted to and rely on Him.
I told her the misery that my mother’s illness brought to me. She consoled me and told me to pray to God and rely on Him. In our conversation, I felt especially comforted and encouraged and that I had found a bosom friend. We talked a lot that day. The next day, Yuhan introduced Sister Liu Hui to me. Having learned that I was living in pain and helplessness because of my mother’s illness, Sister Liu Hui comforted and encouraged me. She also read me these words of God: “Where did the pain of birth, death, illness and old age present throughout the life of man come from? Because of what people first had these things? Did man have these things when they were first created? They didn’t, did they? So where did these things come from? These things came after the temptation of Satan, after man’s flesh became degenerate. The pain of the flesh, the troubles and emptiness of the flesh and the extreme wretchedness of the world came from Satan’s torment of man after it had corrupted them. Man then became more and more degenerate, the illnesses of man were deepened, their suffering became more and more severe, and man felt more and more the emptiness, the tragedy and the inability to go on living of the world. Man felt less and less hope for the world, and these are all things that came about after Satan had corrupted man. So this suffering was brought on man by Satan, and it only came after man had been corrupted by Satan and became degenerate” (“The Meaning of God’s Experiencing the Pain of the World”). After the reading, she fellowshiped, “From God’s words we see that all man’s sufferings came from Satan, were brought on man by Satan. Man didn’t have illness or sadness when he was first created by God. After man had strayed far from God and lost God’s care and protection, he lived under the domain of Satan, and Satan not only afflicted man with illnesses, but it even dominated some people from within to confuse their mind and drive them to insanity. All these sufferings are due to the affliction and torture from Satan. However, no matter how Satan has corrupted man, God’s intention of saving man has never changed. Sometimes God saves man using real environments and also enables man to discern what comes from God and what comes from Satan through them. As it says in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry, ‘When, and against what background, do evil spirits work? They work when people have strayed far from God and rebelled against God. The work of evil spirits bewitches people, and it does so by taking advantage of when they sin. When people are at their weakest, especially when they are in great pain in their hearts, when they are feeling bewildered and confused, the evil spirit takes this opportunity to slip in to bewitch and corrupt them, to sow discord between them and God. There is a time for the work of the Holy Spirit: When people call upon God, when their hearts turn to God, when they need God, when they repent to God, and when they seek the truth, then the Holy Spirit begins to work in them. See how every aspect of the Holy Spirit’s work is in order to save man, how He looks for opportunities to save man, whereas evil spirits look for chances to corrupt and beguile people. Evil spirits are contemptible and wicked, they are insidious and sinister, everything they do is meant to corrupt man, and harm man, and devour him. When people are in need, when they make urgent calls to God, when they require God’s salvation, and when they wish to draw near to God in their hearts, the Holy Spirit appears to them and does the work of salvation. God is love, and evil spirits are hate—this is clear to you, yes?’ The work of Satan and evil spirits is to afflict and beguile people, to make people befuddled and suffer great pain in their heart. However, God is the Creator, and He has authority and power. No matter how savage Satan is, it is under the dominion of God. When we come before God, look unto Him and rely on Him sincerely, we will stay far from Satan and receive God’s care and protection. This is the single most effective way for us to distance ourselves from Satan.”
I was grateful to God for unlocking these mysteries, which made me know that all mankind’s sufferings came from Satan’s torment of man, and that people undergo these sufferings also because they have strayed far from God and lived under Satan’s domain. I thought, “Is this not the very cause of my mother’s misery? After my father passed away, she suddenly felt that she had lost the one she could lean on, and she completely lost her sense of security. She started to worry about how she should live and where her daughters would be settled and whom they would lean on in the future. She was also afraid that my younger sister and I would abandon her, and even worried that we might take away all her possessions (including her money). Satan attacked my mother when she was at her saddest and weakest. Her misery, troubles, and emptiness all came from Satan, and were caused by the tricks Satan played on her. She closed her heart ultimately, living in her own world, and eventually she became insane and was mentally tormented.”
Sister Liu Hui continued, “Let’s read some words of God concerning God’s intention of saving mankind. God says, ‘You should know that it is the last days now. The devil Satan, like a roaring lion, walks about, searching for people to devour. All manner of plagues are now breaking out and there are many different kinds of evil spirits. Only I am the true God; only I am your refuge. You can only now hide in My secret place, only within Me, and the disasters will not befall you and no calamity will come near to your tent’ (‘The Twenty-eighth Utterance’). ‘Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give up on those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary’ (‘God Himself, the Unique VI’). From God’s words we can see that now it is the last days, and God does His utmost to save man, while Satan and evil spirits frantically search for people to devour. Now the battle in the spiritual realm is most intense. Only God is our refuge, and we can only rely on God. As long as we have faith in God, He will help and guide us out of all miseries, protect our mind and body, and guide us to see through all Satan’s schemes.”
Through hearing the two passages of God’s words and the sister’s fellowship, I came to know that whenever Satan engages in unbridled harm of man, God does not stand idly by, but instead, He quietly saves man. I thought, “My mother and I never worshiped or relied on God but strayed far from Him, so that Satan exploited an opportunity to harm us. Before, when Satan afflicted us, I didn’t know to rely on God or pray to Him. But now I know that God is my only reliance and is the only Creator who can enable man to break free from Satan’s affliction.” By relying on God, I felt that I had my reliance, and I was no longer afraid. I was willing to face my mother’s illness calmly, and I also decided to accept God’s work of the last days. After this meeting, I became a member of the Church of Almighty God. I received the nourishment of God’s words and the care and love of the brothers and sisters, and I had God in my heart to lean on and no longer felt empty and helpless. I went before God and prayed to Him earnestly, entrusting my mother’s illness and everything at home to His hands. Then I plucked up courage to advise my mother to receive the treatment. Thank God! She finally agreed. Through this matter I truly felt that God was right by my side and that my mother’s thought and mind were in His hands. After a period of treatment, her mental condition became ever more stable.
Thanks to God’s love and the brothers’ and sisters’ sincere care, I had more time to share and fellowship about God’s words with the brothers and sisters after my mother gradually got better. Thus, as I understood more truths, I felt released and free within. Because of God’s love and salvation, I also saw the hope of living and got out of the gloomy situation on my life journey. If God had not guided me with His love, my mother’s illness wouldn’t have taken a favorable turn, and we would still be trapped in deep misery and despair. Indeed, God is the one true God, who is almighty and practical. I will follow God all my life and pursue the truth with diligence to satisfy Him and bear a most resounding testimony for Him. All the glory be to Almighty God!