By Ruan Ling, United States
Ping was lying still on her sickbed, her face pale in the reflection of the lamplight.
Since she had leukemia, she had been very depressed. Seeing patients in the ward pass away one after another, she felt fearful and helpless, and asked in her heart time and again, “Who can save me? I want to live on!”
Ping used to work in a clinic. Every day she was busy seeing patients, writing prescriptions, giving them injections, or putting them on a drip, and even during her lunch hours she still had a lot of work to do. Because of her irregular diet and hours, her condition was getting worse and worse: At first, she often ran a temperature and her gums often bled; and later, she felt fatigued and chilly, her face completely bloodless. Not until her condition was in no shape to endure did she go to the hospital.
After the examination, she was diagnosed with leukemia—blood cancer. The doctor said, “You’re in serious condition. Fifty percent of your cells have turned into cancer cells. You’d better go to a large hospital for treatment quickly.” Hearing this, she felt as if the sky had fallen; unable to control her emotions, she burst out crying in the hall of the hospital despite the odd looks from people around.
Privately, the doctor told Ping’s husband, “Your wife can live eight months at most. You’d better prepare for the worst.” After learning about it, Ping’s mother and two brothers all wept disconsolately.
As a paramedic, Ping clearly knew that she was going to die. She thought, “I’m only 38 years old, too young to die. My daughter just attended junior high school and my mom is old; they all need my care. Besides, it has only been one year since my father passed away, and my family hasn’t been free from painful feelings; now I am going to die; can they bear it? …” She worried far too much and often lamented with sobs that her life was so short and miserable.
Right at this time when she was extremely distressed, she thought of theand prayed to Him: “Oh merciful Jesus, Lord of salvation, each time I thought that I will never see my family, I would be so distressed. They all need me and I don’t want to leave them. Lord! What should I do? Please save me!” After praying, she felt a bit calmer. Then she remembered the Lord could cure all kinds of diseases, and how He resurrected Lazarus, who had been dead for four days, with just one line. At that time, she seemed to see a gleam of hope.
After that, she persevered in praying and reading theevery day and often came before the Lord. With the Lord as her ever-present reliance and help, she felt very relieved and peaceful within.
Chemotherapy is a tortured process. Besides suffering from the side effects such as nausea, dizziness, hair loss, and strength diminishment, every time she had chemotherapy, she needed to be on a drip from seven in the morning to two the next morning, during which her veins became so painful as if they would burst. In pain, she constantly prayed to the Lord, and after that she would be full of confidence in the Lord, become strong in spirit, and have the courage to fight the disease.
After the first course of treatment, Ping’s condition didn’t turn better, which made her whole family heavy-hearted. During that time, from downstairs often came cries over the dead. Every time hearing this, Ping would ask herself: Will I be the next? And then her face would be wet with tears. In distress, she told the Lord about the pain in her heart. The Lord seemed to hear her cry and arranged for a classmate of her, a director of Hematology in another hospital, to help her. He advised her to transfer to their hospital, and said he would first increase the dosage and then perform a bone marrow transplant on her. Ping and her family saw a turn for the better. After discussion, they took his advice.
After the transfer, Ping went into a new therapy. She was more at risk because the dosage was increased to kill cancer cells. Though the treatment was painful, she felt a great release in her heart and no longer existed in a constant state of fear, for she had the Lord as her reliance.
Thank the Lord for His protection! Five courses of treatments were finally done. The next step would be the bone marrow transplant. Just when Ping was very nervous and worried that she would die during the surgery, she saw a verse in the Bible, “A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you” (Psalms 91:7). These words lit up her heart, “Yes! The Lord is mighty. Though I have leukemia, without His permission, death won’t come upon me. Whether I will live or die is in His hands.”
Then came the day of surgery. When she was wheeled into the operating room, she thought of the protection of the Lord all the way. Thinking that the surgery carried a risk, she prayed to the Lord and again had her life and death entrusted to Him. After praying, she felt peaceful in her heart as before.
One month after the surgery, the marrow produced new cells, which meant the marrow transplant was a success. After being hospitalized for ten months, Ping finally recovered and was discharged.
In the battle against leukemia, Ping experienced the Lord’s great power. She knew that if it were not for the Lord’s protection, she could have died at any time: Every time she had chemotherapy, if the dosage had been too low, the cancer cells wouldn’t have been killed and thus she would have died; if the dosage had been too high, she would have had no resistance and thus would have died of viral infection or bacterial infection; after the transplant surgery, if the transplanted cells had grown too slowly, she would have been addicted to pethidine, and couldn’t live a normal life even though she had survived. Thinking of this, she thanked God and praised His might and salvation.
Now, Ping is healthy and happy. Each time she told her colleagues and friends that she once had leukemia, they would say in surprise, “You don’t say! You don’t look like a person who once had a serious disease at all.” Hearing this, Ping would proudly bear witness to the wonderful deeds of the Lord.