By Jiang Li
My daughter has already begun walking, but I still clearly remember the “pain” that had happened to me on the day of her birth. I am very happy to be looking at her smile today, but all this happiness was hard fought. If it weren’t for God’s salvation and sovereignty, I wouldn’t have persevered through childbirth. Moreover, the special experience let me see the miraculous works of God and realize that God is the only One I can rely on. Now I will never leave God!
My daughter was born through caesarean section, and I underwent surgery on the day when I was admitted to the hospital. The moment I was pushed into the operating room, I thought: In half an hour I can meet my child who has been in my womb for about ten months. That will be the happiest thing to me. When all the preparations were done, the anesthetist gave me an anesthetic. But when I was tested for the anesthetic effect, I still had a clear pain. The anesthetist gave me another shot, but I could still clearly feel the pain. The surgeon said: “You have to fight through the pain. Getting a third shot isn’t good for the baby’s health.”
At that moment I was very scared, worrying that I could not bear the pain. But for the child’s sake, I had no choice but to endure. The doctor put me on oxygen and started the surgery. Then I heard the knife cut the belly. Suddenly I felt great pain in my stomach, and then I felt like a heavy stone against me. The combination of these two took away my ability to breath. I started vomiting, and I felt myself almost suffocate. The anesthetist kept comforting me, and told me to relax. The nurse also helped me clean the vomit up, but I heard the surgeon say in panic: “Hurry, increase the oxygen!” At that moment, I felt death was approaching me and thought: Am I really in a life-threatening situation right now? My eyes started to feel tired, and I felt I was about to die. I really wanted to see my family, and I wanted them to accompany me and comfort me, relieve my pain, and get me through this hardship.
So I kept crying to my husband and mother in my heart. But at that moment, I suddenly remembered the words my mother often told me: “God loves each of us. He is worthy of dependence and trust no matter what is happening. Remember to pray God at any time, and rely on God!” Yes, I have believed in God almost two months, how could I have forgotten to rely on Him! So I silently cried to God in my heart. I told God I am suffering; I told Him I do not want to die, I want God to help me; I told Him I now know that I can only depend on Him, not my family; I realized that without God’s breath to me, I have nothing, and nothing will happen without God’s permission. After praying, a miracle happened. Slowly I felt comfortable in my heart. My chest was no longer stuffy. It seemed that the heavy stone was removed from my heart. I also stopped vomiting. There was only a little stomach pain left. I felt like I was out of danger, so I calmed down. I thought: Is the God I believe in the one true God? How else would my pain have been reduced?
However, I suddenly heard the doctor urgently asking the nurse to call my family into the operating room. I did not know what the doctor said to my husband. Vaguely, I heard my husband pleading with the doctor: “Please do your best to save my wife. As for kids, we can have more later …” Hearing these words, I felt my heart sink, and tears continually ran across my cheek: Does one of us have to die today? This is the child that was in my womb for 10 months. It hasn’t even come to the world yet, so I would rather sacrifice myself for it. When I was in panic, I suddenly remembered a phrase of God’s word that had been read to me by a sister: “all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things.” I understand that God’s authority is everywhere. All living or dead creatures are under God’s sovereignty. Whether we will live or die, isn’t it in God’s hands? When I thought of these, I was no longer scared, and I was willing to let God handle the situation.
After more than two hours of operation, the child was finally born, and I finally was relieved. But then I heard the doctor said: “Immediately inform the family, because the patient was under surgery for too long, now the bleeding has become life threatening. She must be transferred to the best hospital in the city….” Hearing the doctor’s words, I felt scared again, and thought: Am I going to die? Once again, I prayed to God. When I prayed constantly to God, I saw the wonderful miracles of God. Just as I was pushed out of the operating room, I heard the doctor saying that I had stopped bleeding and I didn’t have to be transferred. The doctor pushed me to the recovery ward and the nurse held the child to me. Looking at my sleeping daughter, my stressed heart was finally relieved, and I felt peaceful and safe.
I laid in bed, recalling the moment from the time of surgery to the present. I passed by death, and my heart could not help but sigh: Before, my mother always told me, “Man is created by God,” “The fate of man is in the hands of God,” “Only people that come tocan have a good fate,” but I always thought that “Words are but wind; seeing is believing.” I felt believing in God was too vague. What happened today made me feel the true existence of God. As long as I cry to God, trust God truly, I will see God is beside me, watching and guarding my daughter and me.
The doctor said solemnly to me: “When you have a caesarean section, you have got a lot of air trapped in your belly, so you can’t eat anything until it is released, or the incision will be blown open.” I did not care what the doctor said, because I felt I have passed the dangerous part of my surgery. Two days later, the incision started to hurt. I felt deep pain, and I did not know what to do but cry in bed. Seeing I was in so much pain, my family all worried about me. My husband told the doctor, and the doctor gave me a dose of medicine that could release the gas. However, not only did the medication not work, but it also caused me more pain. The doctor said in surprise, “It didn’t release any gas from your stomach? Then I’ll give you another medication and this medicine is supposed to be good.” After hearing his words, I felt I saw the hope and I thought this medicine would surely release the gas and relieve my pain. However, it still didn’t work. At that moment I was very disappointed. Seeing the area around my incision was bright red and about to crack, my husband hurriedly went to call a doctor. The doctor saw my swollen abdomen, and said helplessly: “If we cannot release the gas, the incision will be split and inflamed, and that will be horrible! I will give you a new drug, and with this medicine the gas will soon be released!” However, the drug didn’t work again. The doctor gave me a few more kinds of medicine, but they all didn’t work. I thought: What should I do? If this keeps up, I will die!
Because I didn’t eat anything for five days, I was too hungry and I even began to have hallucinations. My abdomen swelled up more and more, which caused me great pain. I could not sleep at night. My husband looked at me anxiously but could do nothing. The doctor also couldn’t do anything about it. I became helpless and depressed. Just when I became hopeless, my mother told me: “Jiang Li, just pray to God. We cannot help you; the doctor cannot do anything; the medicine does not work, but God is omnipotent.” After hearing mother’s words, I seemed to find a life-saving straw. I thought: Yes, how could I forget God? When I was in danger and pain the other day, when the doctors were at a loss, when I prayed and relied on God, it was God who helped me ease the pain and made me safe. I can no longer rely on doctors and medicine but God. Then I prayed and relied on God and my mother also knelt down and prayed for me. Just ten minutes later, I heard the sound of a grumble in my stomach and then the gas was released. My abdomen was not bloated, the incision stopped hurting. I could finally eat food. Seeing all this, I felt God’s deeds were so wonderful! In my heart, I sincerely thanked God for His salvation. I gave God a thankfulfrom the bottom of my soul. My mom and mother-in-law also praised God’s almightiness with tears in their eyes!
After experiencing this, I understood that the doctor can only cure my illnesses, but cannot save my life. Scientific development and advanced equipment cannot put me out of danger. The true Savior in this world is God. He always stays with us and does not leave us. When we truly believe in Him and depend on Him, He keeps us from danger. Although this experience was thrilling, it let me believe that God is real and believe God’s almightiness and sovereignty.
After returning home, I began to attend church meetings. I read God’s word: “Until, one day, you will feel that the Creator is no longer a riddle, that the Creator has never been hidden from you, that the Creator has never concealed His face from you, that the Creator is not at all far from you, that the Creator is no longer the One that you constantly long for in your thoughts but that you cannot reach with your feelings, that He is really and truly standing guard to your left and right, supplying your life, and controlling your destiny. He is not on the remote horizon, nor has He secreted Himself high up in the clouds. He is right by your side, presiding over your all, He is everything that you have, and He is the only thing you have. Such a God allows you to love Him from the heart, cling to Him, hold Him close, admire Him, fear to lose Him, and be unwilling to renounce Him any longer, disobey Him any longer, or any longer to evade Him or put Him at a distance. All you want is to care for Him, obey Him, requite all that He gives you, and surrender to His dominion.” “Can man save themselves? (No.) Can the Jade Emperor save man? Can Confucius save man? Can Guanyin Bodhisattva save man? (No.) So who can save man? (God.)” God’s word is trustworthy. I have actually experienced that God is not far away from us, nor is He vague. God is real. He is right by our side and watches every one of us day and night. God created us and gave us life. In our experience of life, we really need God’s leadership and guidance.
Recalling that when I was giving birth, I was in a caesarean section without anesthetics. It was God who saved me from danger and turned me away from crisis; when I was bleeding, the doctors could do nothing but let me transfer to another hospital. When I relied on God, the bleeding stopped; when my abdomen was full of intestinal gas, my incision was about to split, the doctor used so many drugs on me but they didn’t work. But when I prayed and relied on God, the gas was released. These experiences made me really see God’s power and sovereignty, and that God’s loving hands has been holding me. Through this experience, I completely let down the wrong view that “Words are but wind; seeing is believing.” I am certain that God is almighty and the only true God. Thank God for His salvation, and letting me return to His family.
Soon afterwards, I began to fulfill my duty to repay God’s love. All the glory be to Almighty God!
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