Recently, I found a job, doing the cleaning in a hostel. For me who is elderly, it’s no problem to do the work of labor. I wouldn’t cause troubles in work, so I would not be afraid of being scolded by boss. As you see, I’m a person who cares much about face, as the saying goes, “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face.
The day being sunny, I happily went to work by bicycle. After arriving at the hostel and saying hello to the landlady, I put on work clothes and began to work. With a mop I entered a room. While cleaning the bathroom, I wanted to wipe the base of the toilet bowl cleaner. Maybe I used too much force that I carelessly broke the tap of the water-pipe under the toilet bowl and the water rushed out instantly. Seeing this, I was very worried, thinking: It’s too unlucky this morning! I cannot let the landlady see this. What if she says that I did work carelessly? So, I hastened to repair the tap. However, no matter how, I couldn’t do it. I was so worried that the sweat poured down my face and wet my clothes. At last, I had no way but to phone the landlady. After getting through, I said to her with a little nervousness, “It’s upstairs … in the room 305 … that the pipe under the toilet was broken. I cannot make it. Now the water is flowing swiftly. What should I do?” Hearing this, the landlady said, “Don’t worry! I will come right now!” During the time of waiting for her coming, I thought: I can’t tell the truth. If I speak honestly, even if she doesn’t scold me, she will not be kind to me at least. What should I do if she fires me? Perhaps I can tell her that when I came into this room to do the cleaning, I discovered the pipe had been broken. But when I thought like this, I felt uneasy, and was condemned in my conscience. If I say this, don’t I shift the blame onto others? I thought that I’m a Christian; my thoughts just now are not what an honest person should have; God doesn’t like that. So I prayed to God in my heart: “God! You are the God who looks deep into my mind. I may deceive others, but I cannot deceive You. I’m afraid that the landlady will blame me, so I always want to evade the fact. But I feel uneasy when I want to lie. What should I do? God! Please help me.” After my prayers, I thought of God’s words: “If you cannot become as a real little child—lively, lovable, innocent, guileless, authentic, pure—and come into God’s presence, then it will be very difficult for you to obtain truth.” At this time, I understood that God wants me to be a simple and open person who can tell the truth. Only thus can I receive God’s approval. Then, the landlady came upstairs with a wrench. Seeing we couldn’t fix it, she said, “Turn off the tap of the main pipe and wait for my husband to come back and fix it.” Subsequently, she asked me, “When was it broken?” Facing the question, I was a little nervous. But I thought of God’s words and answered, “I broke it just now. When I wiped the base of the toilet bowl, I wanted to wipe it cleaner, but carelessly, I broke the tap.” To my surprise, the landlady said with smile, “It’s nothing! The pipe has been used for over a dozen years. These plastic pipes will be weathered after a long time. Later, these things in all rooms will be replaced.” Hearing the landlady’s words, I breathed a sigh of relief and my heart was released. I had thought that, after my telling the truth, the landlady would not be kind to me even if she didn’t scold me. It turned out that I had thought too much. From this can be seen that when I practiced being an honest person according to God’s words, the environment God arranged was not what I had imagined.
One afternoon, while it was sprinkling outside, I was working as usual. When I washed the swab after mopping the floor, I wanted to put them away. But, at this time, a swab just fell toward the heating switch and broke it. I thought: How careless I am! Alas! I just broke the pipe several days ago. Now I again broke the heating switch. I looked at the room number, reading 305. I thought: Why is it still this room? If the landlady knows this, she will certainly scold me “Can’t you do anything right?” Last time, I broke the pipe, and it’s understandable to be careless once. But after few days, I broke the heating switch again. This time the landlady would be certainly angry with me. She would think that I was undependable to do the work and then fire me. If I’m fired after few days’ work, where will I hide my old face? Looking around, I found there was no one. I thought: It’s a long time before supplying the heat, so the heating switch will not be used right now; I might as well pretend to know nothing about it. At this time, I thought of God’s words: “Don’t act one way to others’ faces but another way behind their backs, as I see clearly everything you do and though you may fool others you cannot fool Me. I see it all clearly. It is not possible for you to conceal anything; all is within My hands.” It’s true! Even if I don’t tell the truth, God sees it all clearly. Even though I can fool others, I cannot fool God. No! I must admit my fault to the landlady on my own initiative. However，when I saw her and was going to say, I was timid, afraid that I would be scolded and be really fired. Thinking over and over, I swallowed my word though it was on the tip of my tongue. Later, several times I wanted to speak, but failed. I was in agony before I left off work.
After going back home, my heart was occupied by the thing, as if I was carrying a big burden. I couldn’t be released, and felt exhausted, At night, I tossed and turned and couldn’t fall asleep. Once I thought of the thing that I broke the heating switch, I was suffering. So I prayed to God: “God, I know you like honest persons who are simple and open. I also want to admit my fault to the landlady, but I cannot open my mouth. I wish You to lead me and let me understand the reason why I cannot tell the truth.” After the prayers, I opened the book of God’s word, and saw these God’s words: “People are corrupt, they are deceitful, they have motivations, they always have living thoughts, they have selfish ideas, and they always think of their own pride, vanity, and interests. It is onerous for them to speak honestly, even if it was only two words, and they are unable to speak up even after holding back for ages. People are controlled by these things, they live in corruption, and they are surely not beloved by God or wanted by God.” God’s every word speaks to my heart. I am living in this situation now. I don’t dare to tell the landlady truth, isn’t it because I am controlled by the face and interests? To protect my interests—avoiding being scolded and even fired by the landlady, I did wrong thing but didn’t dare to admit, and even I wanted to cover it up. In the final analysis, wasn’t it to protect my old face? All the time, I had lived by satanic toxin “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face,” being bound by the satanic philosophy thoroughly. I clearly knew that I should speak honestly, but it was difficult for me to bring the matter up as if my throat were pinched and I was breathless. And I did not have any normal human likeness.
I also saw God’s words saying: “You can see how a person’s prospects are through his daily life, words, and acts. If a person is always acting and putting on airs, then he is in danger and is not on a good path. Which road are you taking? Taking the road of being an honest person is never a mistake!” From God’s words, I saw clearly: The honest persons open up and lay themselves bare to others, don’t tuck or hide themselves away, don’t cheat others for personal vanity, face and interests, and speak their hearts. They are exactly those who God likes and blesses. So, only practicing the truth and being an honest person is a right way, is man’s road to salvation. However, in real life, I completely went against. My acts and words were all for protecting my interests and face, and not letting others see through me; in the things that damage my interests, I always played games, was deceitful, and told lies. Living like this is hypocritical and dirty. What I protected was my face, but I lost the opportunity of practicing the truth and receiving God’s salvation. I was harming myself and walking the road of inviting my own demise. Thinking of this, I set my determination to be an honest person according to God’s words. So I prayed to God: “God! I’m willing to put my face aside and pursue to be an honest person to tell the landlady the truth. May You give me strength.”
The next day was sunny and cloudless. I went to the hostel happily. When I saw the landlady, I still had some scruple, worried that she would scold me and that if this was seen by other employees, I would be embarrassed. But I knew that today God was looking at me and that God wishes me to be an honest person and walk the right life path. So I inwardly prayed God to lead me. If the landlady dismissed me, I would not be sad. At least, I dared to admit my mistakes and live honestly; only thus could I have personality and dignity. So when I saw the landlady was not busy, I went to tell her that I again broke the heating switch when I washed the swab. And I also said to her, “Please, hurry to fix it and the cost of it can be deducted from my pay.” Having said these, I finally put down the burden in my heart, feeling very relaxed and released. Unexpectedly, after the landlady heard my words, she not only did not scold me, but instead said with smile, “It’s nothing. Later on, we can buy a fitting and replace it. It’s no need to deduct your pay. Just be careful in future. You are really honest. It’s reliable to use the person like you.” Hearing these words, I thanked God from my heart. It’s God’s words that lead me to live out some likeness of a human being. I couldn’t help offering gratitude and praise to God!
Being quiet, I thought about the things that I encountered these days, if it were not for the leading of God’s words, I would still live by satanic rule “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face,” cheat and be deceitful for my face, and have no peace and joy in my heart. Now, I make God’s words my direction in my life to walk and I have real release and freedom in my spirit. These are all God’s salvation to me. All the glory be to God!