By Wang Mei
In 2005 my daughter was born. I, as a first-time mother, felt very happy. Looking at my daughter’s lovely little face, I forgot my labor pains and felt the happiness and joy I had never had. After my confinement, when I was enjoying the happiness of being a mother, a disease came upon me quietly and broke my happy life.
One day, one of my breasts was swelled and painful and I didn’t know what was wrong. My mother said that this was a common postnatal disease and that I would recover after using a hairbrush to rub my breast several times. I did as my mother said but it didn’t work. So I had to go to the drugstore to buy some medicines and then take them. But my breast was still badly swollen and it hurt me so much that I couldn’t help shedding tears. Later, my breast grew a lump which was as big as my palm and I felt it was like a stone when I pressed it, and moreover it was often inflamed. My head swam and my whole body hurt; thus, I even didn’t dare to carry my child and I couldn’t do any work. In pain, I had no choice but to go to the big hospital to treat my illness. I didn’t improve at all after having underwent physiotherapy for half a month in the county hospital. Then, I went to the maternity and childcare hospital for a checkup. The doctor said to me, “What you suffer from is cyclomastopathy. That lump formed after the breast milk was blocked. Later, if it hurts again, you can take some antiphlogistic drugs and apply heat to the area with a hot towel. The results of examination suggest that your illness has yet to be diseased. But you need to have checkups frequently later.” Hearing what the doctor said, I felt that it was as if my illness couldn’t be eradicated completely. Especially his words “You need to have checkups frequently later” made me feel worried within my heart because several women in my village had suffered from breast cancer and all died in the end. I thought to myself: I am still so young and my daughter is still so little. If I die, how shall she live? I didn’t dare to think anymore. My illness made my heart very painful and depressed. Every time in more than ten days about my menstruation, my armpits and chest hurt so bad that I even couldn’t lift my arms and my breast hurt so sharply that I really wanted to cut it off. The shadow of fear was hanging over me all the time, as though I was sentenced to death, making me live in sorrow and pain.
In 2013, I had the privilege of hearing the kingdomof God. Seeing I was always disturbed by my illness, a sister fellowshiped with me, “We humans were created by God. Our ancestors, Adam and Eve, lived in the Garden of Eden in the beginning. They had no sickness or distress and their lives were very happy. Later, because they were enticed by Satan, they didn’t listen to God’s words, went against God’s requirements and ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Thus, they were driven out of the Garden of Eden. Only then did we humans have the pain of birth, death, illness and old age, distress and pain. The pains of us humans are all caused by Satan’s corruption. Only by coming before God, relying on and looking up to Him can we receive peace, joy and His care and protection. Just as God’s words say, ‘Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die. … The word of God is sweet indeed! God’s word is potent medicine! Put to shame the devil and Satan! If we grasp God’s word we will have support and His word will quickly save our hearts! It dispels all things and sets all in peace’” (“The Sixth Utterance”). Hearing God’s words and the sister’s fellowship, I was immeasurably excited and my mind felt very clear: It turns out that our sickness and distress are all brought by Satan and are all caused by Satan corrupting us. Satan is really too despicable. It uses rumors to seduce us into sinning and betraying God’s word, thus making us lose God’s care and protection and live in pain. When encountering illness, I only knew to see a doctor, take medicines and rely on the scientific treatments to treat it. However, my disease didn’t improve at all but became worse and worse. I have seen that the medical skills and medicines don’t play a decisive role and can’t save man’s life and that only God’s words can save man and help man break away from the torture of illness. These years, I had continued to treat my illness, but it didn’t improve at all. After reading God’s words, I felt as if I had seen the dawn of life and found the lifeline. I thought that as long as I relied on God, my illness promised to be cured because God is almighty and faithful.
After I accepted the kingdom gospel of God, I lived a church life. Seeing brothers and sisters all lived by God’s words, treated others with sincerity, loved each other and got along harmoniously like a family, I felt so comforted in my heart. We often read God’s words and fellowshiped aboutand requirements. No matter what difficulties or problems we encountered, we would open our hearts to fellowship about our own experiences and knowledge, help and assist each other. Some brothers and sisters also shared with me their experiences and testimonies of how they relied on and looked up to God to walk free from the bondage of illness through the enlightenment and guidance of God’s words when encountering illness, which made me have some understanding of God’s work and produce faith in God. Especially a sister’s experience and testimony I watched from a video made my faith in God increase and let me see that God’s deeds are really so almighty and marvelous. The sister was diagnosed as having stomach cancer and the doctor said she could only live for three months. When hearing this news, she was very sad and hopeless in her heart. But God had never abandoned her. After she accepted the kingdom gospel of God, she saw God’s will to save people through reading God’s words. So, she wholeheartedly threw herself into the ranks of reading God’s words, attending meetings and fulfilling the duty. After a period of time, when she went to hospital for a checkup again, the doctor actually said she didn’t suffer from cancer. She was grateful in her heart because she knew it was God who saved her. From the sister’s experience, I reaped great benefits and I was even more certain that God’s word is the truth and that God is an almighty and faithful God. Through reading God’s words, attending meetings and fellowshiping together with brothers and sisters, I also learned to rely on and look up to God when encountering illness, and learned to pray to God and communicate with Him.
One day, I saw God’s word that said, “If I did not guide all mankind, who would be able to separate themselves from My arrangements and find another way out? Is it the thoughts and wishes of man that have brought him to today? Many people go their whole lives without having their wishes fulfilled. Is this really because of a fault in their thinking? Many people’s lives are filled with unexpected happiness and satisfaction. Is this really because they expect too little? Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Whose birth and death come from their own choices? Does man control his own fate? Many people cry out for death, yet it is far away from them; many people want to be those who are strong in life and fear death, yet unbeknownst to them, the day of their demise draws near, plunging them into the abyss of death; many people look to the skies and sigh deeply; many people cry great, wailing sobs; many people fall amidst trials; and many people become the prisoners of temptation” (“The Eleventh Utterance”). God’s words made me suddenly enlightened: As it turns out, man’s fate lies in God’s hands; it is God who dictates and arranges man’s life and death and no one can turn around or change the fact; man cannot save man and only by relying on God can we receive His care and protection and live unrestrainedly, freely, easily and calmly. Thinking back, every day I worried that my disease would become worse and worse, fearing that someday I would be swallowed by the disease and die, so I lived in sorrow and pain all day. And my family were also worried about me all the time. Today, I had understood God’s will and found my support. I would give myself into God’s hands. Though I was still often disturbed by my illness, my heart was no longer scared and afraid.
Once, when I was just going to attend a meeting, my breast hurt so much again. I really wanted to lie in bed instead of attending the meeting. But when thinking that if I backed off the moment I encountered sickness, I would be unable to practically experience the authority of God’s words, then I came before God and prayed to Him, “O God, now I feel much pain and my heart is very sorrowful. You are the all-powerful physician! May You save me and protect my heart so that I can overcome the pain of illness, have no complaints against You and obey Your sovereignty and arrangements. O God, although my stature is small, I am willing to rely on You to stand witness. May You have mercy on me and show me grace, allowing me to no longer be restrained by illness. Thank God! Amen!” After my, I felt very relieved and I was filled with energy all over. During the meeting in the afternoon, I quieted my heart before God and focused on pondering God’s words and listening to the fellowship of the brothers and sisters, and then I unwittingly forgot the pain. I experienced the sweetness of practicing God’s words.
In the following meetings, I was no longer controlled by my illness and I could normally attend meetings and perform my duty. Over time, I found that my illness gradually reduced and later I felt no pain. One day, I was amazed to find that the lump was gone. At that moment, I felt immensely excited. I saw God’s words, “The heavens and earth and all things are established and made complete by the words of My mouth and with Me anything can be accomplished” (“The Sixtieth Utterance”). God’s words really have authority and power, allowing me to experience God’s almighty and marvelous deeds. God is really so faithful and is truly fit to receive the trust of mankind. I was grateful to God within. I knelt before God and prayed to Him, offering my thanks and praise, “Oh God! I thank You. If You had not saved me, I would still live under the influence of Satan and be afflicted by my disease, unable to see the dawn of life forever. O God, I have seen Your almightiness and faithfulness. Your words are really the truth, the way and the life. You are really the all-powerful physician and I thank and praise You! Amen!” Now, I have recovered from my illness, I am in good health and the smile also appears on my family’s face.
Every time I thought that because of my illness I came before God, read the personal utterances of God fortunately, knew the source of life and understood the value and meaning of life, my heart was full of gratitude to God. From now on, I vow only to rely on God and look up to God more, pursue the truth, purse to know God and fulfill my duty as a creation to repay God’s love. All the glory be to God!