By Danyi, China
After breakfast, Zhien turned on her computer as usual, and then she saw a message from her friend: “In a twinkle, a few decades pass by, and man’s life comes to its end. Consider our own life: studying, working, marrying, having kids, and waiting for death. It is so empty and painful. How can we escape the emptiness and pain exactly?” Touched deeply by these words, Zhien thought back to an unforgettable experience involuntarily.
Zhien had been timid since her childhood: She was prey to the irrational fears in her heart and felt insecure often. In her childhood, she needed someone to take her to school even though it was not far. At home, only when someone accompanied her could she feel safe. When she grew up, she left her parents to study in another place. The unfamiliar environment always made her feel lonely and anxious. Although some classmates of her high school days entered in the same university as she and accompanied her, she was still often attacked by the irrational feelings of helplessness and emptiness. She was really eager to find the true reliance and protection from her deep heart.
Afterward, Zhien had a boyfriend. He was attentive to her, which moved her very much. Having got along with him for a long time, Zhien thought that he was her Mr. Right. She was glad to find the reliance, and finally felt secure, fulfilled and satisfied in her heart. Therefore, she extremely cherished their affection, and she was willing to devote herself to it. In her heart she often longed for the beautiful days to come: marrying, having kids, and living under his love and care and so on. At that time, Zhien thought she was the happiest one on earth. However, the reality broke her dreams.
One night, Zhien called her boyfriend, but he didn’t answer; then she sent a message to him, but there was still no reply. She kept calling him, only to get a few heartless words: “Let’s break up.” Zhien hearing the cold voice on the line, her heart seemed to stand still. Their warm memories scattered to the winds instantly. Her two years of efforts on this affection were repaid with nothing but countless bitter tears. That night she nearly cried herself dry …
Zhien’s heart felt as if it was hollowed out by that sudden change. The irrational fears and pain and emptiness in her heart came upon her once again. She thought about dying. When she was about to commit suicide, she suddenly thought of her parents, who brought her up laboriously and saw her through college. If she died now, how would her parents live on? She could get relieved, yet they would be devastated. Thinking about the scene of her parents crying heartbrokenly, Zhien gave up this idea.
During that time, Zhien thought a lot. It was the frustration of her affection that brought her to reflect on life: For what purpose do people live? And why do people live such a miserable and empty life? She thought about her relatives: her elder sister, who was busy with business all day long after getting married; her parents, who were still committing themselves to making this family work in their fifties; her grandfather, who had passed away … She also thought about herself. From birth to study to work, she hadn’t even lived half her life yet. But to be obvious, if she continued to experience in this way, she would walk the same path as they: getting married, having babies, handling housework for family, and finally leaving this world when her life came to the end. Mankind obeys this rule generation after generation. What’s the meaning of this kind of life? At the thought, Zhien was perplexed. Though only experiencing less than half of the long journey of life, she felt fatigued, empty and miserable enough. She really didn’t know how to experience the rest of life, and how she could escape these emptiness and pains.
One day, she accepted the salvation of God in the last days. God’s words dispelled the confusion in her heart and illuminated her forward direction. She saw God’s words, “How many creatures are there living and reproducing in the vast expanse of the universe, following the law of life over and over, adhering to one constant rule. Those who die take with them the stories of the living, and those who are living repeat the same tragic history of those who have died. And so mankind can’t help but ask itself: Why do we live? And why do we have to die? Who is in command of this world? And who created this mankind? Was mankind really created by Mother Nature? Is mankind really in control of its own fate? … Mankind does not know who is the Sovereign of all things in the universe, much less does he know the beginning and future of mankind. Mankind merely lives, perforce, amidst this law. None can escape it and none can change it, for among all things and in the heavens there is but One from everlasting to everlasting who holds sovereignty over everything” (“Man Can OnlyAmidst the Management of God”).
“A world in man’s heart with no place for God is dark, empty without hope. … Because man was made by God and the senseless sacrifices and explorations of man can only lead to more distress. Man will exist in a constant state of fear, will not know how to face the future of mankind, or how to face the path that lies ahead. Man will even come to fear science and knowledge, and fear even more the feeling of emptiness within him. In this world, regardless of whether you live in a free country or one without human rights, you are utterly incapable of escaping the fate of mankind. Whether you are the ruler or the ruled, you are utterly incapable of escaping the desire to explore the fate, mysteries, and destination of mankind. Much less are you capable of escaping the bewildering sense of emptiness. … Man, after all, is man. The position and life of God cannot be replaced by any man. Mankind does not just require a fair society in which everyone is well-fed and is equal and free, but the salvation of God and His provision of life to them. Only when man receives the salvation of God and His provision of life to them can the needs, yearning to explore, and spiritual emptiness of man be resolved” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind”).
God’s words revealed the mysteries of life and helped Zhien find the source of emptiness and pain of human life and the direction in life. She understood that man was created by God, and that God is the source of man’s life. The reason why man felt increasingly empty and miserable was that he departed from God and didn’t have the guidance and provision of God’s word. Thinking back, controlled by the irrational fears and anxiousness all the time, she felt more and more empty and painful. And this pain couldn’t be resolved from the company of parents and friends, neither from chatting with family or shopping, eating, drinking or having fun with friends, nor from having an affection full of passion. On the contrary, she almost lost her life for being cheated by her boyfriend. When she thought about life, she saw her relatives live the same life generation after generation, year after year, for they didn’t know why they live, how they should live, and they still didn’t find the goal and direction of their own lives. Zhien personally experienced how painful and helpless one was in life, but she didn’t know who could help her release the pain. Today, through reading God’s words, she understood that only after man came back to the Creator to accept His salvation, and obtain the watering and provision of His words, could man extricate himself from the empty and painful life, and feel at peace and steadfast in heart.
God’s words like the warm winter sunshine warmed her desolate heart, making her horizon colorful like the rainbow in the sky. She felt God’s mercy and care, tears blurring her sight instantly … At that moment, Zhien was very glad and easy, all the feelings of gloom, emptiness and pain disappearing completely. She felt God’s love and was moved. She knew it was God’s words that gave her wandering heart a place to belong. She heartily nestled in the embrace of the Creator and enjoyed the peace, happiness, security and joy from Him.
From then on, Zhien read God’s word every day, and lived the church life regularly. She gradually understood some truth, and began to perform her duty in the church. Then she got to know how to cooperate with God to unbind the shackles of Satan’s dark influence, escape the empty and painful life, and be saved by God. Later, Zhien saw God’s word: “The path you should choose is to understand how God arranges and leads everything about you, and how God will lead you in the future. You should seek to understand God’s intention and His will, and then live your life, go live in accordance with the direction of the destiny that the Creator orchestrates and rules for you. Living in this way is right and proper; it is not to vie, to rob, to seize, to oppose or to scrutinize the Creator’s intention, or to scrutinize and oppose everything that God arranges for you. You are not to scrutinize or oppose these things. Is it not right and proper for people to live this way? By living this way, man dispenses with their misgivings about why they live and why they must die, and they also dispense with the pain that is caused by the living repeating the historical tragedy of the dead. They then feel that, by living all their lives in this way, there are no difficulties, they have found the true root, they know what man’s destiny is all about, and they know how man should obey the arrangements of Heaven, how they should obey the Creator’s arrangements and not oppose them. Living in this way has meaning…” (“Only Fulfilling the Duty of a Created Being Is a Life Worth Living”). Through God’s words, Zhien understood: Previously, she didn’t come before God, leaving her heart drift around and belong nowhere, and thus she always felt empty; she didn’t know God’s almightiness and sovereignty, and always had personal extravagant desires, without obeying His orchestrations and arrangements, so when her desire wasn’t satisfied, she would complain of misfortunes of her life and feel pained … The guidance and provision of God’s word helped her see clearly: Only when mankind submit to the Creator’s orchestrations and arrangements, seek His will and know His deeds through the people, things, and matters that designed by Him, and live by His words, can man escape the emptiness and suffering thoroughly and live a meaningful life. Living in this way is the right path. Recalling the selection and salvation of God to her, Zhien couldn’t help but offer thanks and praise to God, and resolved to perform her duty properly to return God’s love.
At that time, the warm sunlight was shining through the window into the room. The happy smile appearing on her face, she started to type to reply her friend with this experience …