Who Is My Destined Life Partner?

By Zhao Lei, France

Jie was born in a poor village. In order to achieve his ideal and ambition, he moved away from home to go to a big city which many people longed for. Unknowingly three years passed, and Jie reached the marriage age. Once during working hours, he caught sight of a young girl. At once Jie was attracted to her. Afterward, he paid special attention to the girl’s actions. Sometimes he passed by her work shop on purpose. Sometimes he made contact with her from his work. Gradually he knew that she was Dan one year younger than him. Later Jie had her contact details. From the first step of getting acquainted, gradually Jie came to have affection for Dan. In case he found Dan didn’t come to work, he would be very anxious and worried, deeply fearful that something would happen to her. Every day Jie was concerned for Dan carefully, fearing that Dan would be out of his sight someday. They talked about their feelings for each other and grew closer and closer.

Later, Jie finally summoned up all his courage to make the first date with Dan. That day they didn’t go to the romantic night market. Instead, they walked on the lawn by the roadside, hand in hand happily. It seemed as if Jie found his future partner, and he received Dan into his heart completely. In Jie’s eyes, each and every move of Dan was good. Jie, who grew up in the countryside, didn’t have any requirement of her. All Jie did was take great care of Dan. Jie was very happy that night. From then on, Jie even racked his brains to think how to make Dan happier every day.

couple dating

Once, Jie overheard his colleagues talking in the tea room that there might be no future for Jie and Dan even if they went on seeing each other in this way. However, carried away by love, Jie didn’t care about their words, for he thought it was enough that he was in Dan’s heart, and nothing was more important than that. Even so, Jie still minded their words a little. To prove where he stood in Dan’s heart, he deliberately sent a message to Dan, “Can we be together forever?” After that, Jie looked forward to Dan’s answer. To his surprise, Jie got Dan’s message soon, which said, “You are kidding! I haven’t thought about it.” After reading the message, Jie felt a vague sadness. Though it was a joke, Jie couldn’t help but think of the words of his colleagues, “There might be no future for Jie and Dan even if they go on seeing each other in this way.” Later, Jie always wanted to get a positive reply from Dan. However, each time he talked about the future or their families with Dan, she either avoided or changed the subject. The more Dan avoided his question, the more Jie wanted to know the answer.

One night, Jie took Dan’s hands and said bravely to her that he wanted to be with her forever and wished to give her a beautiful future and a warm family through his own diligence. At his words, Dan kept silent for a long time, and at last she said helplessly, “Impossible.” Having gotten along with each other for so long was repaid with the word “impossible.” Jie could no longer hold back the sadness in his heart, nor could he control his feeling, such that he shed tears in Dan’s face. “Can you tell me why? We really have no chance to be together?” said Jie in low tones. Looking at Jie, Dan finally told the real story. It turned out that Dan had been concealing her family background so as to not let Jie know it. Dan’s father died when she was a child, and her mother married another man. At present, Dan lived with her sister. Due to her family condition, the villagers looked at her family with a peculiar gaze. Dan said that actually she had told her mother about Jie’s dating her, but her mother had never agreed to her being with Jie, which Dan didn’t tell Jie. As speaking these words, Dan cried. Also, Dan said, “If we are together, my family won’t hold our heads up high in the village, and there will be more public opinions.” At this, Jie didn’t say much, and had no idea how to face it. It seemed that tears had told him the reality was cruel.

Jie returned home with mixed emotions. That night Jie fell asleep sadly without knowing it. The next morning he got a text message on his phone, “If you want to be together with me, you must have your own house without a loan, which is the lowest condition my mother requires. Otherwise, my mother won’t agree.” After reading the message, Jie felt like he was about to fall apart. It was harder than climbing up into the sky for him to meet her mother’s condition, who was born in the countryside. Yet Jie was unwilling to give up his feelings for Dan. He believed as long as he worked hard while he was still young, there might be hope. Meanwhile, he wished after dating her for a time, Dan and her family perhaps would change their minds.

One year passed, yet Jie still fell far short of Dan’s requirement. It was almost impossible for Jie, a worker from the countryside, to buy a house with several hundred thousand yuan. In the twinkling of an eye, it was the Chinese Valentine’s Day. Jie wanted to take this opportunity to know if Dan had changed her requirement. So Jie chose the dearest roses for Dan at a flower shop. He didn’t tell Dan about that beforehand for he wanted to give her a surprise. That evening as soon as Jie arrived at the door of Dan’s resident building with the roses, he couldn’t wait to call Dan. He dialed once, twice, but no one answered it. It was cold on autumn evening, but Jie seemed to have forgotten everything outside. He thought as long as he could be with Dan, it was worth waiting any length of time. Half an hour passed, yet Dan still didn’t return the call. At this time, the lights in the staircase suddenly came on. Dan came down the stairs in her pyjamas. At the sight of the roses in Jie’s hands, she wasn’t happy. Instead, she said helplessly, “I can’t accept these flowers, take them back. Mom is in, and she knew you called me just now. She insists that we can’t be together unless you buy a house. I don’t want to hurt you, but we really can’t be together. Go back, please.” Jie knew that no words could redeem the situation at that moment. He could only earnestly ask Dan to receive the roses. Finally Dan received the roses reluctantly without saying more, and turned away. Looking at her retreating back, Jie felt the cruelty of the reality even more at that time. The fact before his eyes struck his heart like a blade, yet he didn’t know how to pull it out. Looking at the high buildings around, Jie was especially helpless and felt everything before his eyes wasn’t belonging to him. He wondered where his future house was. At this moment, He felt disappointed and hopeless. Then, Jie left there in tears with sorrow.

Jie’s feelings for Dan bound his heart like a knot. Jie became depressed and didn’t like to talk. A popular song “Why Can’t the Two Lovers Just Be Together?” was played repeatedly on his phone. The more he listened, the more he felt pain. What was more terrible, Jie kept thinking about Dan when carrying goods, such that once upon a time when he was driving a forklift, he almost ran it into the driver. Luckily the driver evaded it in time. Otherwise there must be death. It seemed that Jie’s relationship with Dan was frozen by something and there was no way to resolve it, so that Jie didn’t dare to contact Dan anymore. Half a year later, Jie learned that Dan was seeing a new boyfriend who had promised her to buy a house and that they were preparing for the marriage. Feeling the cruelty of the reality again, Jie was specifically helpless, and he thought it would be useless no matter how hard he worked. Jie couldn’t help but think that if he had been born into a rich family, or in a city, then he couldn’t have broken up with Dan for lack of the money. Faced with the cruel reality, Jie had no choice but to give up his pursuit of Dan.

Once at a yearly meeting of the company, Jie received a text message from Dan—she would get married the next month. Jie could do nothing but give a helpless smile to the message. Afterward, each time he recalled the scenes when he was with Dan, he still felt a little sorrow. As time went by, the past memories were buried in the bottom of his heart. Jie didn’t understand why he couldn’t have his wish fulfilled through his bitterly pursuing Dan. Could it be that it was really because he lacked the money?

Later, Jie turned to God, and he read God’s words, “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile someone you never expected quietly enters your life and becomes your partner, becomes the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. And so, though there are millions of marriages in the world, every one is different: How many marriages are unsatisfactory, how many are happy; how many span East and West, how many North and South; how many are perfect matches, how many are of equal rank; how many are happy and harmonious, how many painful and sorrowful; how many are the envy of others, how many are misunderstood and frowned upon; how many are full of joy, how many are awash of tears and cause despair…. Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; everyone must fulfill it. And the individual fate that lies behind every marriage is unchanging; it was determined long in advance by the Creator.

marriage

Only after Jie read God’s words did he understand that whom one would be with, or whom his other half would be was not decided by himself, nor decided by whether he was wealthy. Instead, it was predestined by God according to everyone’s mission. From the outside, Jie was unable to be with Dan because of having no house. But in fact, even if Jie had money and a house, whom Dan would marry still would be the one predestined in her fate instead of him. This was because God had predestined every couple who would tie the knot. He and Dan couldn’t transcend their respective fate. Then, Jie thought back to the past: When he met Dan at the beginning, he had no more concerns to take Dan into his heart, wishfully expecting Dan to be his future partner. However, at last Dan married another man. Only then did Jie realize his expectations and hard work couldn’t decide whether Dan would be with him forever. The person with whom he would be was long determined in advance by God. Finally Jie understood that if he wanted to break away from the pain brought by fighting against fate and live a happy and joyful life, he must obey God’s sovereignty and arrangement and believe God had prepared a more fitting one for him. At that time, Jie decided to completely give up the relationship which did not belong to him and to obey God’s arrangement and predestination.

Later, Jie had his own other half. His wife was a Christian, and she showed the utmost care and consideration for Jie. In life, they supported and accepted each other. In belief, they had a shared object of pursuit, that is, they both sought to know and worship God. Only then did Jie truly feel his wife was his true other half and that everything God arranged was good. Jie saw a passage of God’s words: “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands.” After reading these words, Jie realized that everything he owned was ruled and arranged by God. His family, his job, and his marriage couldn’t be planned by himself, but determined long in advance by God. At this point, Jie was grateful to God, because he felt it was God who was always arranging and ruling over everything for him, and that God was really responsible for him. God didn’t predestine Dan as his wife, but the one He predestined suited him better. He felt the most genuine love of God. From this point on, Jie completely bid farewell to the former painful days, facing the future calmly, and walking the right path of believing in, following and worshipping God with his wife. Thinking back to the winding path he had walked, which had become a precious treasure for him to know God’s sovereignty and arrangement, Jie felt very happy.

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