By Lu Lu
At midnight, Lu Lu stared at the computer screen unbelievably where her husband’s consumption list in recent months was being shown: dress, RMB 600, XX mall; foreign wine, RMB 600, XX Hotel; … Looking at the list, Lu Lu sank into a chair. It was the first time that she had tasted hopelessness in her life. Unexpectedly, her husband, who had been showing great fondness for her, actually betrayed her. She suddenly thought of her sister-in-law’s kind advice: “Sister, my brother lives alone outside, aren’t you afraid that he will do you a wrong?” “Someone may do it except your brother. He is not that man,” Lu Lu replied. Her previous expression of confidence came to her mind. But then, faced with the cruel reality, she felt her reply at that time was really a kind of satire on her. The last line of defense in her heart was completely destroyed by the hard fact. Her tears, like a string of beads that was broken, rolled down her cheeks. How Lu Lu wished all of this was just a hallucination! How she longed to go back to the past, to the previous perfect time, and to the days of true love that everyone cannot bear to part with!
Lu Lu’s husband was a university sophomore when they met at the first time. During her interactions with him, Lu Lu felt he was honest and kindhearted, so she could not help forming a very favorable impression of him. During that period, he ever took a bus for over an hour to see her and talk to her every weekend. They always chatted so happily that they felt the time went too quickly. Once he won a scholarship of RMB 5,000. Subsequently, he specially arranged a big dinner for her and recited the poem he wrote for her. At that time, she was surrounded by the sweet love. Although all of their families were firmly against their affection, they resolutely guarded it. In 2007, they eventually got married. From then on, Lu Lu’s husband became her reliance. She rejoiced that this affection finally had a result due to their persistence. She often secretly told herself in her heart: “I must devote my entire life to protecting this marriage and making myself live happily forever.”
Every tiny little bit of things that happened in those years supported Lu Lu to live through the lonely days when her husband worked outside. Facing her father-in-law’s criticism and bad attitudes, she often wept tears of grievance secretly, yet she still did what she should do as a good daughter-in-law owing to her love for her husband. Though sometimes Lu Lu felt her strength was short of her wishes when suffering the double pressure of her work and family, all of the exhaustion and unhappiness would be diluted by her happy hope of her husband’s return and the innocent smiling face of their cute daughter.
Lu Lu’s mind came back before the computer. At that moment, no matter how she tried her best to remember those wonderful things, it could not bring her even a little comfort but bring her heart-piercing pain. She didn’t know where the way was in the future and how to face people around her. She felt as if she instantly became the saddest person in the world. Suddenly a sense of fear crept up within her. She was afraid to face the future and thought: Maybe I can choose to leave this world, and then I won’t need to face the cruel fact. …
Suddenly, a clank of wind hitting the window shattered the silence of the night. Lu Lu turned her head on instinct to look at their sleeping kid beside her. The kid’s naive face seemed to remind Lu Lu: You are a mother. You mustn’t be so weak, because you have a child to look after. Thinking of that, Lu Lu put the terrible thought out of her mind. At last, she made a decision to take their child to see her husband. She didn’t know what would wait for her: Maybe this perverted affection will end soon; maybe there is another different termination. She was waiting for the proclamation of her fate.
The next day, after trying hard to adjust her mood, Lu Lu told her parents-in-law about her husband and that she intended to take the child to see her husband. Her family all persuaded her to forgive her husband one time for their child. Then her heart melted and she told herself in her heart: “For the sake of our child and family, I’ll try to forgive him.” Accordingly, with the last hope, Lu Lu went into the distance in order to retrieve their affection and marriage.
On the coach, her mother-in-law said sincerely: “Lu Lu, listen to me. Marriage isn’t a child’s play. However it is going on, have a heart-to-heart talk when meeting him. Everyone may make a mistake when he is young. …” Looking at the sleeping kid in her arms, Lu Lu said to her mother-in-law: “Mom, I see.” Hearing Lu Lu’s words, Lu Lu’s mother-in-law seemed to have been fully reassured and heaved a sigh of relief. However, Lu Lu felt uneasy in her heart. On one hand, she expected her husband could make a clear explanation to her; on the other hand, she was also afraid to meet the terrible fact. Watching rows of trees outside the windows, Lu Lu thought: I don’t know whether we can start all over.
Getting off the coach, Lu Lu dialed the shockingly familiar number, but her husband didn’t answer for a long time. She and her mother-in-law had to take a taxi to his unit. She didn’t know he intended to resign until they arrived there. Facing the sudden situation, she had a bad feeling in her heart. Under the persuasion of his colleagues, her husband finally appeared. Seeing his evasive eyes, she knew he intentionally evaded her and didn’t answer her phone. Such a fact made her feel disheartened. Lu Lu’s mother-in-law sitting beside her, unable to suppress the anger, pointing at her husband, scolded: “What a black sheep you are! You have become presumptuous outside! You didn’t care for the family, did you? Do you want to live well or not?” Lu Lu’s husband lowered his head and didn’t say any word throughout. Lu Lu held back her tears and anger, looking at her husband, trying her best to quell her mood, and said calmly: “The matter is this way. That I come all this way to see you is not to quarrel. However, shouldn’t you give me an explanation?” Then her husband raised his head and said calmly: “I’m no good for you.” Hearing these words, Lu Lu couldn’t help shedding tears and sobbed: “I have never thought you could betray this family. You gave me a perfect dream, but today you break it by yourself. … Merry meet, merry part.” “I don’t want to get divorced,” he said. His words made her feel a little indignation and hope. Then she said to him: “If you are unwilling to divorce, leave that woman.” “I don’t hope to leave her either,” he answered. Hearing those, Lu Lu stared at her husband with amazement. Lu Lu’s mother-in-law was so angry that she stood up to hit him but was prevented by Lu Lu. Lu Lu gazed at her husband as if he was a stranger. Under her gaze he felt uncomfortable and said: “Don’t stare at me like this. Now, people all do this outside. I’m not the only one. My leader also has the other woman outside.” His words seemed to slap Lu Lu’s face. She was not even sure whether her ears could work. She looked angrily at this man in front of her, who became strange and preposterous. She didn’t understand why he got like this in just a few short years. With his callous expression, he seemed no longer to explain anything. Lu Lu knew clearly that their affection and marriage could not return to before any more.
Lu Lu packed up their child and ended this painful trip. After getting home, she deleted all ways to contact her husband. She made up her mind to say goodbye to yesterday’s nightmare and then struggle tenaciously for the future of their kid and herself. However, in deep and quiet night, the sense of sorrow and loneliness in her heart often came to her quietly. Confusion, puzzlement and endless pain always didn’t easily let go of the fragile spirit. At this moment, she desperately hoped that somebody could heal her inner wounds.
Just when Lu Lu fell into the abyss of pain, God’s salvation of the last days came upon her. God stretched out His warm and great hands to save her from Satan’s affliction and told her who took away the previous affection between her and her husband.
One day, Lu Lu saw a passage of God’s words: “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it” (“God Himself, the Unique VI”).
This passage of God’s words resolved Lu Lu’s puzzlement and confusion. In the past, she didn’t understand all the time, why her husband who was once simple and honest turned so worldly and indifferent and even lost the baseline of morality. It turned out that he was poisoned and corrupted by the evil trends Satan brought. So he lost humanity and conscience and only blindly satisfied his own flesh, even not caring for many years of their feelings as husband and wife, nor caring for their child. When he just graduated, he was pretty honest, but then he was poisoned by the heretical fallacy of Satan—The red flag at home does not fall, the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze. Gradually, that honest and bright young man disappeared, but instead, he became a heartless scoundrel who was contaminated by the evil trend. Look at today’s society, many people accept the negative as the positive, and Lu Lu’s husband is one of many sacrifices corrupted by Satan. In the past, Lu Lu considered her pain was only due to the betrayal of her husband. Through reading God’s words, she realized that Satan was the real chief criminal who made her painful. Today, if she had not been saved by God in time, Lu Lu would have been swallowed up by the evil trend. At this moment, she was thankful that she had come before God and received God’s protection.
Later, Lu Lu also saw God’s words say: “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give up on those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary” (“God Himself, the Unique VI”).
“So what exactly does God give to man? Does He only give you a little care, concern and consideration when you are not paying attention? What has God given to man? God has given life to man, given man everything, and bestows on man unconditionally without demanding anything, without any ulterior intention. He uses the truth, uses His words, uses His life to lead and guide man, bringing man away from the harm of Satan, away from Satan’s temptations, away from Satan’s seduction and allowing man to see clearly through Satan’s evil nature and its hideous face” (“God Himself, the Unique IV”).
Lu Lu was so moved by God’s words that tears ran down her face. From God’s words, she understood: Even though Satan always corrupts and harms us, even though it seems as if this world lies in the hands of the evil one without light, God actually knows these like the palm of His hands. God knows Satan’s tricks and methods of it harming man; He even more knows the insignificance and pitifulness of us humans and expends for us silently all the time. For the purpose of saving us, He became flesh again, bears humiliation, and expresses words to endow us men with the truth, in order that we can discern Satan’s evil substance and break away from the affliction of Satan’s evil trends. God saves us from the beginning straight through to the end. Lu Lu couldn’t help reflecting back: Since I was aware of my husband betraying me, I’ve been living in pain and desperation. What’s worse, I’ve lost hope in my future and no longer believed there was true love in this world. In my eyes, this world was gray and bleak. Even if standing under the sunlight, I didn’t still feel a little warm. I just wanted to desperately struggle through each day to the end of my life. If God hadn’t saved me in time, I didn’t know what I would have been like now. At the moment, Lu Lu felt deeply that God stood alongside her all the time and never abandoned her. When she was in darkness, God’s words, like a lamp, illuminated her road ahead and comforted her broken heart, so that she saw through all of everything and walked out of the haze. In this evil trend, it was God who watched over her silently all the time and kept her from being swallowed by the evil trends. All God has done is the work of love and salvation. Lu Lu felt truly at peace and delighted. She found what she lost was nothing, because she had gotten the most valuable present—God’s salvation.
Afterward, Lu Lu actively read God’s words and attended meetings. She saw that her brothers and sisters were honest with each other and that they were free and liberated, relaxed and joyful during meetings. This positive atmosphere encouraged her deeply, and the long-forgotten expression of a smile appeared on her face. Gradually, Lu Lu realized: Love is not the only reason that she lives. Only by worshiping and praising God, can she feel truly grounded and peaceful in the heart, which is the greatest happiness. Not long after, Lu Lu began performing as much of her duty as she was able to in the church, the warm big family. Now Lu Lu often hums her favorite hymn of God’s word: “Regardless of whether you have felt it before, God is caring for every person in every possible way, God is caring for every person in every possible way, using His sincere heart, wisdom, and various methods to warm each person’s heart, and awaken each person’s spirit, using various methods to warm each person’s heart, and awaken each person’s spirit” (“God Is Caring for Every Person in Every Possible Way” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). Getting together and worshiping God with brothers and sisters, and fulfilling her duty in her power, Lu Lu enjoys the peace and joy she has never had. She knows clearly in her heart that all of this is bestowed by God.