Recollection of the Past
“Wake up, brothers! Wake up, sisters! My day will not delay. Time is life. Seizing time is rescuing life! The time will not be far distant! If you fail the college entrance examination, you can retake courses again and again. But My day will not delay. Remember! Remember! This is My good admonition. The end of the world has been revealed before your eyes. The great disasters will come soon. Is your life important or your sleep and your eating, drinking, and clothing important? It is the time to think it over! No more doubt. You dare not be serious!
… I am your Savior! I am your Almighty! Watch, watch! Time once missed will never return. Remember! Never is there medicine to cure regret in the world! What should I say to you? Are My words not worthy for you to ponder carefully again and again?” (“The Thirtieth Utterance” of Christ’s Initial Expressions and Testimonies in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Whenever I read these God’s words, a feeling of gratefulness for God will emerge inside me. In retrospect, when my aunt came to preach the kingdom gospel of to me, I thought that belief in God was old people’s business while young people needed to bear and raise children, make money to support their family and thus didn’t have time to . So, I rejected the salvation of God many times. I had held such a view until one year later. At that moment, I got ill and was hospitalized. Then I delivered my baby before his due date and his life was at stake. In despair, I cried out to God. God cared for and protected my baby, and saved his life. brought me before Him, allowing me to know that there is no age limit for belief in God, that it is heaven’s law and earth’s principle to believe in God and worship God, and that as a created being, one should worship the Creator. From s, I even more see that only God is responsible for man’s life, and that God’s words are precious, are the truth, and point out the right way and direction of human life for man.
I remember one weekend when I was doing the housework, my aunt dropped into my home happily. She asked me, “Do you believe there is a God who rules over everything in the heavens and earth?” I answered readily, “Yes, I do.” She smiled and said, “God incarnate has come to the earth, expressed the truth and done the work of purifying and saving man in the last days. He will choose and save those who truly believe in Him. We should seize the opportunity to believe in God seriously and can’t miss it. If we fail the college entrance examination, we can retake courses. But if we miss God’s work of saving man in the last days, we will lose the chance to and will be overcome with regret.” Upon hearing this, I changed my manner and refuted her sharply, “I believe there is a God, but I’m young. I need to have children and work for pay to support my family. So I don’t have time to believe in God. Belief in God is the business of you old people.” She said, “Belief in God won’t interfere with our normal work and life….” At that point, I was a little impatient, so I interrupted her and then made an excuse to ask her to leave. However, my aunt afterward still kept preaching the gospel to me with a loving heart, but I always found excuses for turning her away and rejecting God’s kingdom gospel.
Danger Came Upon Me
Several months later, I became pregnant. More than 40 days before the expected delivery date, I got a stinging headache suddenly. So, I went to a hospital to have an examination in the company of my husband. The doctor measured my blood pressure, which turned out to be 190 mmHg, and then said that I needed immediate hospitalization, or else my life would be in danger. His words made me very nervous. After one week’s treatment, my blood pressure didn’t come down and my headache grew even severer. The doctor carried out some tests on me and told me that I needed to have a caesarean right away, otherwise both my baby and I would die. My husband and I panicked and were at a loss. We could do nothing but follow the doctor’s advice. About an hour after the operation, the doctor was surprised to find me hemorrhaging, and he lost no time in treating it with medicine and finally managed to stop the bleeding. “Luckily, we found it early this time. Otherwise your womb would have been removed. You’re so fortunate! You’ll surely be blessed later in your life since you’ve survived such a serious accident,” he said. “However, the weight of your baby is only 1.6 kg and he is still in danger. He has been sent to the children’s hospital and placed in an incubator. His life is at risk. Whether he can survive depends on his fate.” Upon hearing his words, I was stressed out all of a sudden and was very worried about my baby. After the operation, I was very weak. During the following seven days in the hospital, I seemed to be tormented in hell. Apart from being painful all over, I was heart-wrenching, angst-ridden and on tenterhooks, unceasingly worrying whether my baby could survive. Finally, the seventh day came. I endured the pain and dragged my limp legs to the children’s hospital to see my baby. As soon as I saw my baby who was pitiably small in the incubator, my heart hurt so much that tears came down like falling rain. I called out in my heart, “Heavens! The doctor said that my baby is too small and that his life is at stake. I beg You to save him!”
Crying Out to God in Desperation
Later, the doctor told me that only when my baby grew to 2.5 kg in the incubator could he be released from the hospital. At that time, I felt as if the sky were falling. We had spent over 20,000 yuan in the hospital within just several days, and yet still had to wait until he weighed 2.5 kg. How many days would it take? How much would it cost? My husband was unemployed. If we spent all our money, how would we lead our future life? Just when we were anxious about the money, the doctor told us, “Your baby must be fed with 20 ml of powdered milk every two hours. If he doesn’t take it, we have to inject him with the milk through a tube in the mouth.” In order that my baby could grow to 2.5 kg soon and thus leave the hospital with a lower cost, I, regardless of my condition, bore the intense pain and moved with difficulty to feed him every two hours. Many times my baby’s eyes were closed and he didn’t take the milk. I was so anxious that I burst into tears. As I was in a bad mood and was weak throughout my body after the operation, I hoped someone would help us and take care of my baby. However, for the fear that we would borrow money from them, our relatives and friends all put us at a distance. At the thought of this, I was in a flood of tears. In order not to give my husband pressure, I only wept secretly. In sheer desperation, I looked up to the sky outside the window, crying in my heart silently, “O God! Do you truly exist? O Almighty God, in whom my aunt believes, please help us! When will my kid grow to 2.5 kg? Will he survive? May You save him!”
Afterward, although my baby didn’t open his eyes, he took milk faster day by day with a better appetite. One morning, after an examination, the doctor said to me, “Don’t worry. Your baby is healthy. There’re six to seven babies here. Yours is the youngest, but only he is not ill and grows fast.” His words left me with a little comfort. Two weeks later, the doctor put my baby on a scale, who weighed 2.4 kg. Then he said, “You can leave the hospital now. The baby is quite healthy.” Hearing that, I was so happy that I burst into tears. The death rate of premature babies was very high, yet my baby not only survived, but also grew fast and could be discharged from the hospital in a short time. I felt that God had been caring for and protecting us.
After we went back home, my aunt paid me a visit and preached the gospel to me again. This time I did not find excuses to refuse. I said to her, “Auntie, only after I experienced this painful torture and escaped from the jaws of death did I feel the preciousness of life. Before, I thought belief in God was only the business of old people. We young people should earn money for some years before believing in God. But when lying on the sickbed in the hospital, I had to put aside everything. If I had lost my life, it would be useless to possess a lot of money. This experience makes me feel that life is more precious than anything else. Moreover, in the hospital, when I was most painful and helpless, I cried out to God and saw God’s deeds. Without God’s care and protection, I don’t know what the outcome would have been. Now, I’m willing to accept God’s work of the last days.” Seeing that, my aunt gave me a book of God’s word happily and said, “You know God loves you and protects you. As you experience more, you will see more of God’s deeds, and God’s almightiness and wisdom of holding sovereignty over all things, and see that Almighty God is the only true God who created the heavens and the earth and all things….” While listening to my aunt’s fellowship, I nodded with pleasure.
God’s Words Are So Precious
My aunt continued, “Let’s read two passages of God’s words.” Then, we read God’s words, “There is an enormous secret in your heart. You never know it there because you have been living in a world without light shining. Your heart and your spirit have been taken away by the evil one. Your eyes are covered by darkness; you cannot see the sun in the sky, nor the twinkling star in the night. Your ears are clogged with deceptive words and you hear not the thunderous voice of Jehovah, nor the sound of the rushing waters from the throne. You have lost everything that should have belonged to you and everything that the Almighty bestowed upon you. You have entered an endless sea of bitterness, with no strength of a rescue, no hope of survival, left only to struggle and to bustle about. … From that moment, you are doomed to be afflicted by the evil one, kept far away from the blessings of the Almighty, out of reach of the provisions of the Almighty, and you embark on a road of no return. A million calls can hardly rouse your heart and your spirit. You sleep deeply in the hands of the evil one, who has lured you into the boundless realm, with no direction, with no road signs. Henceforth, you have lost your original purity, innocence, and started to hide from the care of the Almighty.” “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Because the essence of God is holy, that means that only through God can you walk the bright, right road through life; only through God can you know the meaning of life, only through God can you live out a real life, possess the truth, know the truth, and only through God can you obtain life from the truth. Only God Himself can help you shun evil and deliver you from the harm and control of Satan. Besides God, no one and nothing can save you from the sea of suffering so that you suffer no longer: This is determined by the essence of God” (“God Himself, the Unique VI” in A Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh).
After reading God’s words, I shed tears of remorse. God’s words are truly good and they are so precious. For years, although I felt that there is a God in the heavens and the earth, my belief in God was only a vague belief. I always lived in the notion that we should seize time when we are young to get money to support our families. So, I thought that it was most important to earn money to support the family while belief in God could be delayed. In order to save me, however, God had my aunt preach the gospel to me time after time, but I, blind and ignorant, continued living in my notion and pushing away God’s hands of salvation. As I strayed away from God and lost God’s care and protection, I was afflicted by Satan at its will and lived in suffering. Nevertheless, only God’s love for man is true and only God is tolerant and merciful toward man. As long as there is a little place for God in one’s heart and a glimmer of desire to look for God, he will see God’s care for him. When I was in utter despair and needed most God’s help and called out to God, God forgave my ignorance and disobedience, stretched out His hands to save my baby and me, as well as my whole family, allowing us to live a happy life. Only God loves man most. Thinking of my attitudes toward God in the past, I was gripped by remorse. I hated I had no humanity, and that I had lost conscience and sense after being trampled by Satan. From the words expressed by God, I saw that only God can save man and guide man to walk the right and bright way of human life. I made a resolution to read God’s words seriously and follow Almighty God in the future.
Soon after, I began to live the church life and perform my duty. My life has changed and my child grows healthily. We live under God’s care and protection happily….