by Lu Ye, Su Wan District
I am 52 years old this year. I was born in a poor peasant’s family and despised by others most of the time. Two sons of my father’s elder brother worked at a coal mining factory and earned enough money, so their two little sisters always got beautifully dressed, and took so many delicious food flaunting in front of me, which made me envious. I always dreamt that I could live a rich life someday.
After I got married, I came to know that my husband got a loan from bank to hold the wedding. I resolved with my husband to start servicing the loan fifteen days after the wedding. We decided to borrow from other sources in order to invest in a clothing business on the street. After being able to stint, we had some money in hands. Gradually, we paid all the debts and even had some money to save. As time went by, we resolved to rent a shop on the street where we could sell the clothes. Our business was successful. My husband was in charge of buying stock, while I stayed at the shop to take care of our over two years old son and attend to customers. Sometimes we did encounter some difficulties, such as having to deal with tough customers, competition and even blackmail from gangsters. Life was really tough for us.
Our hard work paid off as we managed to raise enough money and subsequently we started living a better life. My husband was considerate to my needs, sometimes he would buy nice fashionable dresses and famous cosmetics for me; my heart was filled with happiness.
A few years later, we bought land on which we put up a building of over 400 square meters on the street. Because we lived a wealthy life, our relatives, friends and acquaintances started greeting us at a distance. Obviously they were envious of us, which made me so happy. For me, I had achieved my childhood dream and I could wear a happy face, standing straightly and being a superior finally.
As years went by, my husband made so many friends. He and his friends often went out together, to KTV, restaurants, pedicure shops, sauna and other places. He even came back home at midnight. At first, I thought my husband was working much harder for our life, hence I felt it was normal for him to return home late. After all, I knew my husband as someone who was faithful to me, so I never bothered to ask him about his private life.
One day, when I came home, I found my husband was busy flirting with another woman on the phone, at that point I thought he was having extramarital affair with that woman. When I grabbed his phone, I realized the woman was an acquaintance in the same business with us. I couldn’t believe his betrayal. Helplessly, I slumped down. Since my desire was always to have a united family, I persuaded my husband, saying: “You should think about our struggles together in our quest for a better life. You should think much of our son and our family.” I expected him to respond to my plea, instead he remained silent. I was deeply disappointed with him by his apparent unconcerned attitude. My tears uncontrollably fell down. From that moment, the love between us did not exist anymore. I asked myself continuously, I am looking forward to living a wealthy life. All these past years, I worked so hard and suffered so much to earn more money, but in the end, what I have gotten is my husband’s betrayal. Is the family we labored to build in all these years, finally broken?
Later on, I got a serious breast hyperplasia because I suffered a lot at the hands of my husband. In the face of my husband’s betrayal and the torment of illnesses, I lost the hope of life and the energy to run the business and I even couldn’t fall asleep at night. I was so depressed to the extent of wanting to take away my own life, but thought of my young son and elderly mother, I gave up this thought. Pain was filled with my heart so that I was wondering continually who can save me from this misery.
Shortly, an acquaintance spread the work of God in to me. After accepting the work, I always have gatherings with sisters and brothers, read , sing and dance to praise God. I feel so relaxed to get along with them, for there is no conspiracy at all.
I see God say, “Man’s entire life is lived under the domain of Satan, and there is not a single person who can free themselves from the influence of Satan on their own. All live in a filthy world, in corruption and emptiness, without the slightest meaning or value; they live such carefree lives for the flesh, for lust, and for Satan. There is not the slightest value to their existence” (“The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment”). “His entire life is one of anguish, and rushing about, and fun added to emptiness, and in his whole life there are no new inventions and creations. No one is able to extricate themselves from this hollow life, no one has ever discovered a life of meaning, and no one has ever experienced a real life” (“The Twenty-fifth Utterance”).
The revelation in God’s words made me realize that we are living under the domain of Satan, living by the satanic poison, “A man should be damned when he does not think of himself firstly.” Everyone lives for his own benefit of the flesh. Therefore, everyone’s life is mournful and empty. I also knew the reason why I lived so bitterly.
My husband and I started from nothing. When eventually, we became rich, my husband changed his behavior. He started patronizing entertainment places and going out with another woman. He literally forgot all that I sacrificed for our family. Over the past decade, I worked so hard to sustain the family, but in return, what I get is his betrayal. Then, I realized that the rich life brought me the blow and pain. My husband became more and more evil and degenerate, he started to ease into a life of debauchery, indulging in the flesh. All of these are the torments of Satan and also empty and meaningless life. Look at my husband’s friends, deeply afflicted by the evil trends of Satan, they all find lovers outside, all of them obey the rule which is quite popular in the China, “Though you have a wife at home, you could still flirt with more than one lover.” By thinking of what my husband and I have experienced is caused by Satan’s temptation and deception, both of us are the victims and Satan is the chief culprit who really causes this misery, I felt freed. I was not so angry and annoying about my husband as before.
I read another passage of God’s word later, “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly” (“The Seventy-fourth Utterance” in Utterances and Testimonies of Christ in the Beginning).
By reading the , I know that my marriage, family and life are all in God’s hands. Nowadays, that I can accept in the last days is due to God’s choosing and grace. If I can completely let God rule over my marriage, won’t I be free from this misery? It’s God who rules and arranges whether my husband will leave our home to live with that woman, not me. When I was thinking in this way, I ed to God, “ , I appreciate you so much. By reading your words, I know that my life is in your hands. It’s all your kindness that lets me accept your work. I am willing to put my family and marriage in your hands, Amen!” After prayer, I felt so relaxed just like I was free from an extremely heavy burden. I offered my praise to God from the bottom of my heart.
When I prayed to God to in charge of my marriage, my heart was filled with happiness. Later, I together with sisters and brothers preached the of the kingdom to my friends, relatives and acquaintances, and I have been living in God’s work. It seems I have been changed into another person. Unconsciously, my husband did not hang out with that woman, but came home early and eventually refused to contact her anymore. I know all of these are God’s deeds. Just like God’s words, “The heart and spirit of man are held in the hand of God, and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). Thank God! It is God who saves me and lets me realize that living in a rich life doesn’t mean happiness. Only if we live before God can we gain happiness.
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