By Yan Susu
Before I left the office, my group leader set me a task—completing some paperwork that was unfamiliar to me. She said, “As time is limited, please arrange this document as soon as possible. Since the plans devised by Wang Jie and other colleagues last few times were all rejected by the customer, you’d better do your best to finish it this time.” Then she left the office. Seeing the document in the computer and thinking of the group leader’s words, I felt much pressure and thought: Wang Jie and other colleagues, who are veteran workers, have dealt with this kind of paperwork for a long time, so their professional ability is much better than mine. They even failed to devise a plan that met the customer’s requirement, let alone me. At this thought, I felt unsure of where to start as if my limbs had been bound.
After returning home, I constantly pondered: How should I write this document? How can I write it well to meet the customer’s requirement and receive his approval? However, the more I wanted to make the document original, the more confused my mind was, and my thoughts became increasingly clouded. Thinking that the document must be submitted the next morning, and that it was impossible for me to finish the work in such a short time, I became darkened and weak in my heart.
Feeling utterly helpless, I brought my trouble before God to pray for His help and guidance. After praying, I read a passage of God’s word: “No matter how great or small their stature is or what their personal environment is like, something that people cannot be without is looking to God and relying on God in all things; this is the greatest wisdom. … Sometimes, looking to God doesn’t mean speaking clearly when people pray to God for something, or for God to guide them in some way, or for God to protect them; rather it is that, when they encounter some issue, they are able to call on Him sincerely. So, what is God doing there? When someone’s heart stirs, and they have this idea: ‘Oh God, I can’t do this myself, I don’t know how to do it, and I feel weak and negative,’ when these thoughts arise in them, does God not know about it? When these thoughts arise in man, are people’s hearts sincere? When they call on God sincerely in this way, does God assent to help them? Despite the fact that they may not have spoken a word, they show sincerity, and so God assents to help them. When someone encounters an especially thorny difficulty, when they have no one to turn to, when they feel especially helpless, they trust in God as their only hope. What are their prayers like? What is their state of mind? Is it sincere? Do they have any mixed purpose at that time? When you trust God as though He were the last straw that you clutch onto to save your life, when you hope God will help you, only then is your heart sincere. Though you may not have said much, your heart has already stirred. That is, you give your true heart, your sincere heart to God, and God listens. When God listens, He sees your difficulties, and He guides you, enlightens you and helps you” (“Young People Should See Through the Evil Trends of the World”). Pondering these words, I saw that I really lacked faith in God. When I had nothing to worry about, I always went on about the phrases: relying on God and looking to God. It seemed that I had great faith in God, yet in fact what I said were empty spiritual theories and doctrinal words. When I encountered the practical difficulty, which was when I needed to rely on and look to God, my unbelieving viewpoint popped up and caused me to doubt God: Is it really of use for me to rely on and look to God? Though God has the authority and power, this matter requires my actual cooperation. My caliber isn’t high, so can I complete the work by relying on God?
At that time, I was attracted by the fellowship of the sister who lives with me. She said, “Therecords that God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. According to our conception and imagination, Moses couldn’t possibly make it. The Egyptian Pharaoh was so stubborn and stiff-necked; how was it possible for him to allow the Israelites enslaved and slaughtered by him to leave? But Moses depended on and looked to God time and again. God answered his prayers and sent down ten plagues one after another, which collapsed the Egyptian Pharaoh’s hardness step by step. Finally, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt by depending on God. For another example, when David, a thin and small shepherd, faced the Philistine giant, Goliath, he had no fear at all and finally killed Goliath with a small stone because of his dependence on Jehovah. From this unexpected result, men all saw God’s wonderful deed.” After hearing the fellowship of the sister, I had the courage to cooperate with God and then prayed to Him in my heart: Oh God, now I believe that those who rely on You shall not be ashamed and that You are my ever-present help. I’m willing to put aside my conception and imagination and rely alone on You.
When I began to rely on God, gradually I had some train of thought, so I turned on my computer quickly. I accomplished the document at a stretch under the guidance of God. Then I sent Wang Jie the document to consult her idea. Wang Jie replied, “The thought is tenable and it would be OK with some modifications.” I was so happy after hearing these words. However, I knew it was because of God’s guidance but not my own capability that I could get such a result. May all the glory be to almighty God!
From this little experience, I gained some knowledge of the truth about relying on and looking to God. I came to understand: Man’s wisdom all comes from God. My view that it is of no use for me to rely on and look to God because I have no caliber or strengths is an even worse fallacy. What I think is manifestation of not having a knowledge of or faith in God. Then I made a resolution: In my future experiences, no matter how great the difficulty and frustration are, I will practice relying on and looking to God, strive hard to pursue the truth, and live before God all the time by His words.