By Qiu He, Japan
When I graduated from senior high school, I went to Japan to study. Three months after I arrived, I found a part-time job and began my overseas school life. I followed my grandmother to be a Catholic from childhood. So, when I was in Japan, I went to Christian church as well as Catholic church. There, I saw some snobbish priests who greeted the rich and powerful with a smile but looked at those brothers and sisters who had no money or power with cold eyes. The church had lost its original purity, so I left there. Gradually, I spent less and less time drawing near to God. In my spare time, I often went to movies, played video games, and hung around with my friends or classmates.
As I grew older, I felt it meaningless living my life like that, and I wanted to find a girl to get married before I got a job. My first love was a dainty and lively girl with whom I fell into love at first sight. We were in a long-distance relationship for three years. I hoped that she would come to Japan and work with me, but she didn’t want to. My father didn’t want us to be together, either. I didn’t see any future between us, so we broke up unavoidably. I hoped I could find the one who would be with me the whole life in Japan.
Later, I was attracted to a Japanese girl who worked in a restaurant. I could see that she had a good impression of me, so I began to ask her out. But unexpectedly, I once quarreled with her friend for some little thing. She got angry and didn’t say anything to me anymore. I was so sad. I haven’t done anything wrong. Why does she ignore me? It’s all right to end this relationship. Maybe I would find a better one. I’m not inferior to others in looks and character. They can find an agreeable girlfriend; I’m sure I would also find one.
In 2015, I graduated. Not long afterward, I got a decent job. I thought that it was no problem for me to find a girlfriend since I had a good job. My friends introduced some girls to me after that, but none of them became my girlfriend for various reasons. I wondered why I had had so many ups and downs in my love life. I was a little frustrated. I even regretted breaking up with my first love.
To find a girlfriend as soon as possible, I joined a dating show named My Destiny With You which was organized by Chinese. I was matched with a girl in the show. The audience said we were the most suitable match. I thought that she was more elegant than other girls, though she was not the type of girl I once dated. She should be the one that I could get to know and communicate with. It was not bad to be with her. But when we started dating, she always complained that I didn’t choose her as my admiring girl in the show. Finally, our relationship ended just in one month.
The failures in finding a life partner really frustrated me. I began to use all kinds of reasons to comfort myself. I concluded that maybe it was because I was not very good with words, especially sweet words, that I suffered so many setbacks in love.
Although I had failed many times, I refused to accept my fate. I thought: Though I failed to find my Miss Right in society, maybe I could find her in the church. Believers in the Lord are more tolerant, patient, and thoughtful. So, I began to go to church again and asked a deacon to find a girlfriend for me. My brothers and sisters also voluntarily introduced some girls to me, but none of them became my girlfriend. It was either the girls didn’t like me or I didn’t like them. I still didn’t find my Miss Right.
It seemed that I had done all I could, but I still had no girlfriend. I was upset and wondered what was wrong with me. I thought that the occupation, appearance, and personality were not the reason why I didn’t find a girlfriend. I felt I seemed to have no chance of finding my life companion in Japan. An idea occurred to me that I would leave this sad place. Later, my grandmother gave me a phone call from the United States, asking me to go to the U.S. After I visited the U.S., I decided to leave Japan and move to the U.S. I thought: Perhaps my life would change in a new place. And maybe I would find the one in the U.S.
Just when I was preparing for moving to the U.S., someone preached me the gospel of the kingdom of the last days. And I accepted the work ofof the last days. Later in a meeting, I read a passage of words expressed by Almighty God, the title of which is “The Six Junctures in a Human Life.” When I read the words about the forth juncture—marriage, I was deeply impressed. Almighty God says: “1. One Has No Choice About Marriage
“Marriage is a key event in any person’s life; it is the time when one starts truly to assume various kinds of responsibilities, begins gradually to fulfill various kinds of missions. People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create even more additional requirements and give people all sorts of baggage and strange attitudes, any person who has experienced marriage knows that no matter how one understands it, no matter what one’s attitude toward it is, marriage is not a matter of individual choice” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).
The word of Almighty God is truly practical. I was full of fantasy about marriage, and often imagined my future wife, how we should start our family, what the life would be when we had children…. I believed in true love, even though many people said that marriage was the tomb of love. Some said, “I’ll find the one that I like.” Some said, “I want the one that likes me.” But I thought a good marriage should be based on mutual feelings. Although I hadn’t experienced marriage, I truly saw that marriage was not in my hand, and that it could not gained through my struggle. I suddenly realized that in marriage I had never depended on God, never prayed and sought God’s will—I was on a wrong way.