A spacious, bright living room with a crib, with a half-year-old baby lying happily inside, his small mouth sucking on his little fingers … Xiaohui, on the sofa, watched this scene with a smile on her face that had never before graced it.
That the once infertile Xiaohui could give birth to a healthy baby was not the result of scientific or medical treatment. This is a life given to her by God. As she looked back on the bitterness of more than two years of seeking medical treatment, she was filled with complex emotions …
In her early 20’s, Xiaohui married her boyfriend of two years, and after their wedding, she enjoyed her husband’s love and affection, but she also looked forward to giving birth to a beautiful baby and fulfilling her dream of starting a family. But Xiaohui was never able to get pregnant, and when she went to the hospital to look into why, the doctor told her, “The chance of curing congenital ovarian dysplasia is very small.” This was a deeply painful blow for Xiaohui, who desperately wanted a child. She said to herself under her breath, “How could this happen? And how could anyone respect a woman who can’t have children? If I can’t have a baby, will my husband still want me in the future? And my mother-in-law is waiting to meet her grandchild.” Xiaohui was trapped in negativity and misery as tears streamed down her cheeks …
“Doctor, medicine is very advanced today, and even though I know the chance of curing my condition and getting pregnant is low, I’d like to do my best to cure it. Doctor, please help me!” Xiaohui begged, as if she was pinning all her hopes of having a child entirely on the doctor. The doctor began giving Xiaohui the most advanced infrared warming disinfection treatment available, and prescribed medicine, but after half a year of treatment and spending more than 30,000 yuan, Xiaohui’s diagnosis hadn’t changed. There was no improvement. Xiaohui felt especially helpless. Was there really no cure for her condition? Xiaohui wanted to try her treatment at a hospital with all the necessary equipment and doctors with the country’s most advanced skills. She thought they would definitely have the answers there. So, she gathered up her information and went to a famous national hospital to seek treatment.
But, after the doctor quickly looked through the materials she brought and asked her some simple questions about her condition and treatment history, he said, “You’ve always had weak menstruation, you have small ovaries only a few millimeters long, and low estrogen. Your medical history and exam results are in line with the diagnosis of congenital ovarian dysplasia, so I won’t give you another examination. Instead, we’ll use artificial progesterone to artificially establish menstruation.” But, after two months of this treatment, there was no improvement in Xiaohui’s condition, and the side effects of the medicine left Xiaohui without an appetite. She was in such pain and misery she couldn’t continue taking the medicine. But, Xiaohui didn’t want to give up. She thought of all the hospitals and doctors that had successfully treated many cases of infertility she had read about online, or seen on TV and in advertisements, and she dreamed of being the next successful example. With her last hope driving her, she went to two well-known big hospitals. After her diagnosis, a famous doctor told her, “Your estrogen levels are very low, so you’ll have to use hormone replacement therapy for your entire life. You can’t ever stop the treatment, or you’ll age prematurely.” There was no question that these words were like salt rubbed in Xiaohui’s wounds. She never could have imagined that her condition would require lifetime hormone replacement therapy. Frustrated, Xiaohui had no choice but to listen to the doctor and undergo treatment for another half a year, but when she was reexamined, her ovaries were still undersized and contained no mature eggs. Xiaohui was utterly hopeless …
Xiaohui stared in shock at the results of her final examination. In the past two years, she had spent all of the 100,000 yuan she saved from work on her treatment. She also clearly remembered her experiences of suffering for her treatment: She took every test, medicine, and shot according to the doctors’ instructions, and all of it, she didn’t dare neglect a single detail; she went to every examination appointment, in the cold of winter or the heat of summer; she couldn’t recall how far she had traveled or how much blood had been drawn from her, or how many injections she had been given or medicine she had taken. But in the end, there wasn’t even the slightest improvement in her condition. Instead, she was physically and mentally fatigued, in pain, and thanks to the side effects of her long-term use of hormones, her weight increased from her original 45 kg to 60 kg. She was several sizes larger. When she looked at her moon-shaped face and bloated figure in the mirror, she felt a disappointment she had never experienced before. She had always felt that medicine and science were authoritative, but they weren’t as good as she imagined. Immediately she felt as though she had nothing to rely on, and she fell into sorrow and despair.
That night, Xiaohui rolled to and fro in her bed, unable to sleep. As she looked at the blackness of night outside the window, she felt helpless, and silent tears streamed from the corners of her eyes onto the pillow …
Xiaohui’s grandmother, who had always shown great care for her, came to her house and saw how tormented and hopeless Xiaohui’s infertility had made her. She gently advised Xiaohui, “Xiaohui, I know how much you’ve suffered and what you’ve gone through to treat your infertility the last few years. I’ve watched you go through all of it, and I’ve been very worried about you.” Xiaohui was silent as she held back her tears. Her grandmother continued, “The truth is, we don’t have any choice in the matter of whether we get pregnant. We can’t control it, neither can doctors or science. Only God can. You should. can resolve all the problems and difficulties we encounter in life.” Xiaohui’s grandmother’s words comforted her, and she felt her heart calm.
Her grandmother continued, “Xiaohui, let’s read two passages of God’s words and see what they say about having children.” Xiaohui took the book of God’s words and read: “People’s plans and fantasies are perfect; do they not know that the number of children they have, their children’s appearance, abilities, and so forth, are not for them to decide…? People go to any length for the sake of their offspring, but in the end, how many children one has, and what one’s children are like, do not answer to their plans and desires. Some people are penniless but beget many children; some people are wealthy yet have no child. Some want a daughter but are denied that wish; some want a son but fail to produce a male child.” “What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously neither is true. At bottom, it is because of the paths people take, the ways people choose to live their lives.” Her grandmother fellowshiped, “You can see how clearly God’s words explain the matter. Whether we have children, whether our children are boys or girls, what our children look like, and what they do in the future aren’t up to us, nor are they up to doctors. Everyone has their own fate, which is orchestrated and arranged by God. Take your own efforts to have a child as quickly as possible. You did everything you could, so why was this the result? It shows that God hasn’t ordained that you have a child at this time, but it doesn’t show that God has preordained you will never have a child, because we don’t know what God has preordained.”
After hearing her grandmother’s fellowship, Xiaohui recalled her experience of treating her condition, how she thought of every possible method and went to all the big hospitals, but in the end she still couldn’t get pregnant. Xiaohui acknowledged God’s words and her grandmother’s fellowship.
“Xiaohui, don’t bring yourself any more trouble to treat your condition. If God has ordained that you’ll have a child, then sooner or later you’ll be pregnant. If not, nothing you can do will make it happen. Just face it honestly and obey God’s sovereignty and predestination! Then, you won’t have any worries or torment, and you’ll be able to live happily and joyously.”
At that moment, Xiaohui began to understand that if or when she ever had a child was entirely orchestrated and determined by God, and was not something she could plan or arrange, nor was it something she could change through effort and medical treatment. After Xiaohui said aof obedience to God with her grandmother’s help, she felt more relaxed and at ease than she ever had before. She no longer cared what others thought of her, and no longer cared how her parents-in-law and husband would treat her. Afterward, she no longer entrusted her ability to have a child to medicine, but left it in God’s hands for Him to orchestrate and arrange. In her free time, she went to her parents’ home to read God’s word and sing hymns of praise to God with her grandmother, and deep in her heart she felt the peace and joy of God.
One day, Xiaohui suddenly felt nausea. She thought it was caused by excess heat from eating the wrong food, so she took out two TCM prescriptions, but after taking them, her nausea only got worse. Only then did Xiaohui think: Am I pregnant? But then she thought to herself, “How could that be possible? I tried infertility treatments for two years with no success, how could I be pregnant?” But, purely out of curiosity, she did a pregnancy test. The result was positive. She was so excited she nearly leapt into the air. This was amazing! When she was trying to get pregnant, she tried for three years without success. After completely giving up on her plan to get pregnant and have a child and entrusting everything to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, she actually became pregnant. This was nothing short of a miracle! She remembered a story from theher grandmother had told her: When Abraham was 100, and his wife Sarah was already 90, God granted them a son called Isaac. At an age when it appeared biologically impossible to us that she could have a child, a year later, Sarah truly did give birth to Abraham’s son Isaac. Xiaohui realized her grandmother was using this story to inspire her to understand God’s authority. The fact that she was pregnant today was a manifestation of God’s authority and power. Xiaohui felt uncontrollable joy in her heart. She poured out her thanks and praise to God, and was more certain than ever that all human affairs are part of God’s sovereignty and arrangements.
Xiaohui was immersed in the joy of pregnancy, but new troubles came one after another. The doctor told Xiaohui that she was prone to miscarriage, and that she needed to take oral progesterone to prevent it. She also had to get regular checkups to observe whether the fetus was developing normally, and if it wasn’t, it would need to be aborted. The doctor also told Xiaohui that the two Chinese medicines she had taken without his knowledge during the pregnancy might have an effect on the fetus, and he suggested that she preemptively abort it. The doctor’s words were a heavy blow to Xiaohui, leaving her at a loss. Xiaohui knew that it was difficult to get pregnant given her condition, and that this “accidental” pregnancy was a miracle. She worried that if she aborted it, she might never get pregnant again, but if she didn’t, she might give birth to a deformed child. She was uneasy. Although the hospital had prescribed abortion medicine for her, she had nothing to assure her it would work out, and she didn’t know what to do.
At a meeting, Xiaohui fellowshiped on her worries and concerns about her fetus. Her sister patiently found passages of God’s word and fellowshiped with her, and Xiaohui read this passage, “So what does science do for people? What science does is that it only allows people to see the objects in the physical world and merely satisfies man’s curiosity; it does not allow man to see the laws by which God has dominion over all things. Man seems to find answers from science, but those answers are puzzling and bring only temporary satisfaction, a satisfaction that only serves to confine the heart of man to the physical world. Man feels that they have already gotten the answers from science so whatever issue arises, they try to prove or accept it based on their scientific views. Man’s heart becomes possessed by science and seduced by it to the point where man no longer has the mind to know God, worship God, and believe that all things come from God and man should look to Him for answers.”
Her sister fellowshiped, “We worship and rely on science because the opinions and rhetoric of science are implanted in our hearts. For example, ideas like ‘Science is omnipotent’ and ‘Science is supreme’ make us think when we are sick, we should see a doctor and rely on science rather than come to God to seek. When science and medicine can’t solve our problems, we fall into despair and pain. Just like, in experiencing your condition, when the doctor said there was no earthly chance that you would be pregnant, you were afraid and worried that your in-laws would look down on you and thus you lived in torment and saw the doctor as your lifeline. When the doctor said the medicine you had taken might influence your baby and advised you to abort the pregnancy, you put God’s words and deeds in the back of your mind and lived in anxiety and misery as you worried the child God granted you wouldn’t be healthy. The fact is that human beings were created by God, and that the defects in everyone’s bodies and what will happen in the future are all controlled by God, and God makes very precise arrangements for people. From God’s words we know that science is not the truth and cannot save people, it can only corrupt, confuse, and mislead people, so if we want to rid ourselves of the pain, we must accept God’s words as our principle of doing things, treat science correctly, and not superstitiously follow science. In your current situation, do what you must to protect the fetus, go to your scheduled examinations, but entrust the fetus’ fate to God and pray to God, and whether or not the child is born healthy, simply obey God’s arrangement, and in this way you will no longer live in suffering.”
After Xiaohui read God’s word and heard her sister’s fellowship, her heart was bright. She was deeply touched, and thought, “That’s right! I don’t understand God’s almightiness and sovereignty, and relying on and superstitiously following science has made my life miserable. But through my grandmother reading me God’s words so many times and fellowshiping on them, along with your fellowship and help, I have gained knowledge of what God orchestrates and ordains, and I will treat the problems I encounter correctly and not be toyed with or harmed by Satan. Actually, I have seen God’s authority in the matter of miraculously getting pregnant after stopping my hormone therapy, and I have personally experienced that science and medicine are flimsy in the face of God’s authority. Now the doctor advises that I take medicine to keep the fetus healthy, and says that if there are abnormalities I’ll have to abort it, so I’ve begun worrying and being anxious about this, which proves that I still don’t trust in God’s authority, that God presides over everything. I wish to pray and entrust the fetus to God, and at the same time, I’ll take the medicine to keep the fetus healthy for several weeks. I’ll leave it to God to arrange the results.”
Afterward, Xiaohui’s heart became calm, and she stopped worrying and being anxious about the fetus. At her third examination at the hospital, it was found that her progesterone levels were normal, and at all the regular checkups throughout her pregnancy, everything about the fetus was normal. She knew that God was protecting and caring for her, and her heart was filled with gratitude to God.
In January of 2018, Xiaohui gave birth without complications, and God granted her an adorable son. After he was born, and at follow-up examination, the pediatrician checked his bilirubin levels and told Xiaohui they were high and that he would need to stay in the hospital for treatment. If the condition couldn’t be treated, her son might end up with jaundice, which would cause permanent brain damage and impact his intelligence. The doctor’s assessment sounded very serious to Xiaohui, and she was worried that her son’s intelligence would be affected if he didn’t stay in the hospital, so she prayed to God, “God, You gave me this child, and his illness and everything else are in Your hands. How his bilirubin levels develop and whether they harm his brain are up to You, not the doctor. No matter what the result, I will submit to Your sovereignty and arrangements.” After praying, she thought of God’s words: “Any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things.” God’s words strengthened Xiaohui’s faith. She decided to entrust her child to God. Half a month later, when Xiaohui brought her son back to the hospital for a checkup and found his bilirubin levels were normal, she again saw that God’s sovereignty and power are everywhere, and that only God is truly worthy of our reliance. While Xiaohui spoke with other mothers at the hospital, she learned that their children had to stay in the hospital for continued treatment because of very high bilirubin levels. Xiaohui rejoiced in her, not just because she didn’t have to spend the extra money, but also because her child didn’t suffer, and she herself didn’t need to suffer that worry and concern.
In her journey from infertile to pregnant, and then delivering a healthy child into the world, Xiaohui personally experienced and felt that God’s omnipotence and sovereignty are practical, that God’s words are the motivation for people to keep living, and that science is not the truth, that it cannot save people, and that it cannot change a person’s fate. Only God is the source of people’s life, only God presides over and orchestrates the fates of mankind, and that what people have and lack is entirely up to God. Xiaohui looked forward, in the future, to walking in the light of belief in and worship of God, and living under God’s care and protection.
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