Marriage Taboo: Suspicion

By Yiyi

Feeling Anxious on the Bus

One afternoon in July, the sun, like a big furnace, was baking the earth. Yiyi was waiting for a bus. Although under her parasol, she could still feel the dazzling sunlight streamed through the parasol and shone on her. This made her mood even more irritable.

Yiyi felt oppressed because she just learnt that her friend’s husband had led a double life. She thought: My friend is young and beautiful and has a cheerful disposition, and moreover, they loved each other a lot before. How could her husband cheat on her?

At the thought that her friend sighed and groaned and became speechless after her husband cheated on her, Yiyi felt both annoyed and anxious. She was scared: Will my marriage also break up? How should I keep my love fresh and alive? If my marriage turns loveless over time, how should I deal with it?

At this time, the bus arrived. Yiyi furled her parasol, got on it and sat in a window seat. The moment the bus started, a young woman’s voice came which was heard distinctly in this quiet bus, saying, “Recently my husband always said that he was busy. He neither came home after his work, nor allowed me to go to his company to visit him. One day, I went to his company and met his mistress. Both of them acknowledged their love affair. What should I do?”

Hearing these, Yiyi got a shock. Looking up, Yiyi saw that the woman on the phone was in her thirties. Yiyi didn’t know whether it was her family or her friend answering her phone, nor did Yiyi know how the woman was told to resolve this matter. Yiyi but clearly heard this woman crying as she said the last words. Alas, who can withstand the cruel blow of her husband’s cheating on her? Yiyi, powerlessly leaning her head against the window, closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

Evil Trends Brought Her Hidden Sadness About Her Marriage

Yiyi was a perfectionist in both marriage and love. She considered it unacceptable that the married couple cheated on each other. And she couldn’t even tolerate the spiritual infidelity. She and her husband were both Christians, and they knew that God’s righteous disposition allows no offense. But in daily life, Satan’s temptation everywhere really made Yiyi feel worried.

Also, Yiyi is inferior to her husband in appearance, which let her feel the same. Her husband is tall and gentle; though not very talkative, he is attentive and patient. In contrast, Yiyi is small and plain. When they walked together, Yiyi felt she wasn’t good-looking enough for her husband. When they went to have their wedding photos taken, the photographer didn’t praise her, but instead praised her husband for his handsome features. Yiyi had a strong sense of loss after that experience.

After they got married, their life went smoothly. Recently there were some changes in his work. Yiyi thought: Now he spends most of his time working with his female colleagues of his age, who pay attention to skin care and dress well. Will he and his female colleagues develop some affections for each other after spending a lot of time in their company? Moreover, today’s social conduct is so depraved and corrupt that extramarital love has become a new trend revered and followed by people. Will my husband be affected by such trends? Sometimes, the more Yiyi thought about these things, the more she felt as if her marriage was on the verge of collapsing.

The Family Conflict Arose From Suspicion

When Yiyi chatted with her sister recently, her sister’s words made her much more miserable. Her sister said: “In today’s society, extramarital affairs are very common. If a couple wants to have a good life, they have to turn a blind eye to this. So you shouldn’t take it to heart. It’s alright.” Her sister then gave Yiyi examples that many friends around her sister betrayed their marriage.

Faced with these facts, Yiyi fell into Satan’s temptation and snared unconsciously. So she began to be on her guard against her husband, and always tried to see whether her husband was faithful to her and whether he cared about her from his words. If he spoke in somewhat cool tones, she felt he had deliberately snubbed her; if he showed some consideration for her, she thought he did so just because of having a secret and feeling guilty. Yiyi then began to read text messages on her husband’s phone to pay close attention to the interaction between her husband and his female colleagues. Once she found any clue, she would question him thoroughly like a detective, attempting to know all the details and the background of those who made comments on her husband’s WeChat moments.

“You are simply making groundless accusations. I didn’t tell you such a small trifle just because it would only make you more thin-skinned.” said her husband indignantly.

Yiyi answered him back: “You didn’t dare to tell the truth all because there’s something fishy about you. Moreover, it is out of womanly nature that I’m suspicious and jealous. That’s because I care about you. And you? You even kept a secret like this from me. How can I feel a sense of security?”

In the end, her husband slammed the door and left, while Yiyi stayed in the room in a huff and cried. Thereafter, their relationship reached an impasse, and the family cold war began.

Relying on God, They Went Through Their Marriage Crisis

There was no liveliness or happiness of times past in their home. It seemed as if the bear lovers’ smile in the picture hanging on the wall was awkward. Seeing that her husband was curling up in the corner of the sofa in low spirits, Yiyi’s heart was stung. She thought to herself: Am I really unreasonable? If I were in his shoes, perhaps I also couldn’t put up with myself. Will I be first reconciled with him? Nope, it isn’t only my fault. … But this cold war is really not what I want. She struggled and struggled in her heart, yet had no courage to put herself aside.

So, she came before God and poured out her heart to Him. She felt He had been observing her actions and that He couldn’t bear watching her being afflicted and bound by her corrupt satanic disposition. Therefore, she regretted not having come before God, or having relied on Him to solve the problems with the truth as soon as possible.

Then, Yiyi told a sister that she was in her torment. The sister patiently pointed out that Yiyi relied on her corrupt satanic disposition to suspect her husband, and that she needed to reflect on herself and put truth into practice according to God’s words to change herself as soon as possible.

Through the reminding of the sister, God enlightened Yiyi and she thought of His words: “I very much appreciate those who harbor no suspicion about others and I also very much like those who readily accept the truth; to these two kinds of men I show great care, for in My eyes they are honest men.

God is faithful. He does things all according to the facts and never does wrong to anyone. So He requires that we should not be suspicious of others based on our own imagination, and should become honest people. Thinking back, she reflected on herself: It was because of her own suspicion that she regarded her imaginations as facts and imposed them on her husband. This was unfair to him. In fact, her husband once explained to her why he helped his female colleague and the whole story. However, due to her cunning nature she didn’t trust him, and often made trouble out of nothing, so that their relationship reached an impasse. At that time, Yiyi understood that all their pain was caused by her corrupt disposition, and that because of her suspicion of her husband, the discord crept into their stable relationship. When thinking of these, Yiyi was somewhat steady and at peace in her heart and wasn’t fooled by Satan. Then, unconsciously, their relationship began to improve.

Later, she read these words of God: “If people have no verbal or spiritual communication, there is no possibility of intimacy between them, and they can’t provide to each other or help one another. … Don’t pretend, don’t package yourself; instead, lay yourself bare, lay your heart bare for others to see. If you can lay your heart bare for others to see, and lay bare all that you think and plan to do in your heart—regardless of whether it is positive or negative—then are you not being honest?

Yiyi realized both of them didn’t know how to open up to each other. Her husband was introverted and not good at expressing himself. Many of his thoughts were deep inside him, and he kept them to himself. Besides, Yiyi was arrogant and capricious, and she would close the door of her heart if she was unhappy. After their marriage, though seldom raising Cain, they always repressed their emotions and didn’t have much real communication which could promote the intimacy and understanding between them. Through reading God’s words, Yiyi knew: God requires us humans to be honest people. When we lay our heart bare to others through verbal or spiritual communication, we will become intimate with each other. She believed that as long as she acted according to God’s words, their marriage could be saved.

By Opening Their Hearts, They Saved Their Marriage From the Brink of Divorce

In a quiet night, their room was snug in the warm light. Yiyi and her husband poured their hearts out to each other and shared their recent knowledge and gains. She apologized to him, and confessed that she had been suspicious of him those days. She misunderstood him and even didn’t let him explain what had happened. She thought she did all this for the sake of love. However, after coming before God and seeking the truth, she realized that it was a corrupt disposition, and an expression of self-righteousness. Then, Yiyi sincerely asked her husband to forgive her. And he also opened himself and told Yiyi that he had sulked at her for he couldn’t accept her suspicions and misunderstandings of him. But when thinking of God’s requirements that people should learn to be tolerant and patient and to understand others, he did not sulk anymore.

When hearing these, Yiyi felt ashamed that they both had lived in misery and fallen into Satan’s scheme because of her corrupt disposition. Her husband then said he, when facing with evil social trends at work, kept away from temptation through praying for God to protect him. Hearing these words, Yiyi smiled involuntarily and kept thanking God within. It was the truth expressed by God that watered and supplied them. And it was God who led them step by step and watched them grow. And He helped them know how to live and conduct themselves, so they didn’t follow the evil trends.

God’s words say, “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give up on those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary.

Contemplating God’s words and integrating her recent experiences with them, Yiyi felt more of God’s love. They lived in this evil society, but because of God’s protection, she and her husband could be faithful to each other, and didn’t get divorced when their marriage was on the rocks, but instead reflected upon themselves according to God’s words and found the way to save their marriage. It was because of God’s grace and protection that they saved their relationships and marriage. After pouring their hearts out to each other, Yiyi and her husband offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God together.

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