Held up by the disease, she felt extremely painful. She had been praying sincerely to the Lord, but why did her condition not improve but become more and more serious? How did the fellowship of a good friend inmake her find the right way to pray for the disease, and get out of predicament?
By Su Yu
The sky was particularly quiet at night, filled with stars, which decorated the sky and made the sky warm and full of magical feeling. But Christian Liu Xin was in no mood to enjoy this night scene. Instead, she showed a painful and sad expression. At the moment, she knelt down and prayed to thein tears: “Jesus, the merciful Savior, recently I’ve got a bad headache and often feel dizzy. I can’t see anything clearly and often vomit when I feel a little bit funny. The doctor said I have hydrocephalus. My Lord, please show mercy on me and cure my sickness. Now I am really in great pain and I can only rely on you…” Liu Xin had prayed many times. The sickness hit her once in a while, and she dare not leave the Lord for a single moment. She had been praying earnestly to the Lord, hoping the Lord can cure her illness. The brothers and sisters prayed for her in the morning, and even prestigious preacher prayed for her. However, the illness still attacked her frequently. Liu Xin felt very confused: Lord Jesus said, “Therefore I say to you, What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them” (Mark 11:24). The Lord told us that no matter what difficulties we encounter, as long as we pray to the Lord, the Lord will bestow on us what we need. But now that I have sickness and pray to the Lord, but why doesn’t He cure me? Has the Lord abandoned me? Thinking of this, Liu Xin felt even worse, and then her headache began again. She could not stand it, so she prayed to the Lord for curing her, and even said she would rather die than live. The more she prayed, the more annoyed she became. She began to waste away and reluctant to talk to others. She even lost faith in life, feeling that she was a liability. She felt so miserable.
One day after lunch, Liu Xin had a headache again, and she had to rest in bed. At this time, her good friend, Zhou Li, visited her. When Zhou Li asked about her recent physical condition, Liu Xin’s tears could not help but flow down. She told Zhou Li about her pain and confusion these days. The more she said, the more upset she felt. She constantly asked Zhou Li, “The Lord didn’t listen to my prayers. Does the Lord not want me?”
Zhou Li took out two sheets of paper towels and handed them to Liu Xin, seriously saying to her, “In the past, I, like you, thought that the Lord Jesus promised us whatever we pray to the Lord for, He will bestow on us, so whenever I encountered difficulties, I immediately prayed to the Lord and asked Him to make a path for me. After praying, I was filled with joy and gratitude to the Lord when I got the blessings, but when I couldn’t see, I would become passive and weak. I misunderstood the Lord and complained about why He did not listen to my prayers. I did not find it wrong to do so in the past, but when I read a book recently, I noticed that such prayers were unreasonable and not in accordance with .”
Liu Xin was very surprised to hear these words, and couldn’t accept Zhou Li’s fellowship immediately. She frowned in deep thought. She thought of what the preacher always said, “Living in the world, what we need is the Lord’s protection and blessings. The Lord’s love is greater than all, and His power surpasses all. The Lord promised us that we can receive whatever we pray.” Moreover, many people in theprayed in this way and received the blessings of the Lord. How can we say such prayers are not in accordance with the Lord’s will? Noticing Liu Xin’s confused expression, Zhou Li asked about her thoughts. After knowing her point of view, Zhou Li said with a smile: “You can have such confusion, mainly because you don’t know the real meaning of the Lord Jesus’ words, ‘Therefore I say to you, What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them’ (Mark 11:24). In fact, there are different backgrounds to the Lord’s work and words. When the Lord Jesus started work, although those disciples followed Him, neither did they have a real understanding of the Lord, nor did they know the Lord Jesus is the Incarnate God. They had no true faith in the Lord. So the Lord told them they would receive whatever they pray for, as long as they had faith. The Lord said this in the hope that the disciples could rely on Him more, see His mighty power, have true faith in Him, and know that the Lord is the Messiah to come, not hoping man regard Him as a physician who heals the sick and grants all pleas. Since God is the Creator, while we are small creatures, our prayers before God should be reasonable. We should keep in our hearts an obedience to God and reverence for Him, and entrust the illness into God’s hands. No matter what God does, it is proper for us not to complain about Him and make demands on Him. A few days ago I extracted some words in this regard, let me read it to you!”
Seeing Liu Xin nod her head gently, Zhou Li took out a small notebook from her bag and read, “When you come to the presence of God to pray, you must think about how to speak reasonably and think about what to say to be able to turn your inner condition into piety. Humble yourself, then say aand you will be anointed…Look at the prayer of Jesus (mentioning the prayer of Jesus is not to make people take the same angle and position as Him), He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane: ‘If it be possible….’ That is, ‘if it is possible.’ It happens through consultation and not through saying ‘I ask You.’ He was keeping a submissive heart in His prayer, and in His submissive state, He prayed: ‘If it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as you will.’ He still prayed like this the second time, and the third time He prayed: ‘May God’s will be done.’ He grasped the will of God the Father, saying: ‘May Your will be done.’ He was able to completely submit without choosing Himself in the slightest degree. He said, ‘If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.’ What does that mean? It is because of the thought of bleeding on the cross to His last dying breath and the great pain! This involved death and was said under the premise that He had still not completely grasped the will of God the Father. Therefore, He was very submissive since He was able to pray that way at the thought of the pain. His prayer was normal, He didn’t pray to strike bargains nor to say it had to be removed, but rather it was to seek God’s intentions in a situation that He didn’t understand. The first time He prayed, He didn’t understand and said: ‘If it be possible…but as You will.’ He prayed to God in a state of submissiveness. The second time, He prayed in like manner. In total, He prayed three times (of course these three prayers did not merely happen in three days), and in His final prayer, He completely understood God’s intentions. Afterward, He didn’t ask for anything. In His first two prayers, He sought, and in seeking, He was still in a state of submissiveness. However, people don’t pray like that. They always say, ‘God, I ask You to do this and that and ask You to lead me in this and that, and I ask You to prepare conditions for me….’ Perhaps He won’t prepare suitable conditions for you and will let you suffer hardships. If people always said, ‘God, I ask You to make preparations for me and give me power,’ the prayer would be so unreasonable! You must have reason when you pray, and you must pray under the premise of submissiveness. Don’t decide. Before you pray, you are deciding: I must ask God and tell God what to do. This kind of prayer is so unreasonable. Often times, the Spirit does not listen to people’s prayers at all, therefore, their prayers are dull.” “Praying and seeking in God’s presence is not about forcing God to do this and that. What is a reasonable prayer? What is an unreasonable prayer? You will know after gaining experience for some time. For example, after you pray this time, you feel that the Holy Spirit doesn’t do it that way and doesn’t lead you that way. When you pray the next time, you won’t pray like that, won’t force God like you tried to last time, and won’t ask God for things according to your own will. When you pray again, you will say: ‘Oh God! Everything is done according to Your will.’ As long as you focus on this approach, and grope about for a while, then you will know what ‘unreasonable’ is” (“The Significance and Practice of Prayer”).
After reading these words, Zhou Li went on fellowshiping, “It shows that before the crucifixion, although He had human weaknesses, He didn’t ask that God Father must remove the pain. When we suffer illness or disasters, we never seek the will of the Lord and what we should do to meet the requirements of God, just blindly demanding grace and mercy from the Lord. In essence, we are forcing the Lord to do this and that as we demand. Our behavior is so unreasonable. How can the Lord fulfill our prayers? Therefore, no matter what illnesses, disasters or bad things befall us, we must pray standing in the right position. We cannot blindly ask the Lord to follow our will. Instead, we should obey and seek the will of the Lord. Just as Job went through the trials, a mountain of sheep and cattle were taken away by robbers and his sons and daughters were killed by the collapsed houses. In an instant, Job lost priceless family possessions and all his children. This sudden disaster was unbearable for anyone. But when Job heard the news, he didn’t pray to God that the disasters should be removed promptly, but instead sought God’s will. Finally, when he understood that all disasters were not from man, not by chance but the trails of God, he rent his mantle and fell on the ground, saying, ‘Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD’ (Job 1:21). And when Peter was arrested and put into prison, brothers and sisters shielded him out of the city. Just when he escaped from the city, the Lord Jesus appeared to Peter and told him that He would be crucified for him again. On hearing this, Peter understood the will of the Lord Jesus. At that moment, instead of making unreasonable demands on the Lord Jesus, Peter returned to Rome to take the initiative to ask for a crucifixion upside down. Through the way Peter and Job behaved in the trials, we can see that they are particularly sensible before God, not blindly asking God to satisfy his own flesh, but seeking how to satisfy God’s will. When they knew, they submitted to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. People like them are reasonable before God. In the same way, today when the trial of illness befalls us, we shouldn’t keep asking God for a quick cure for our illness. Instead, we should pray to God wisely and hand over our illness to the hands of God. We should live before God and learn to obey Him, not always live in illness.”
After listening to the fellowship, Liu Xin came to understand when the Lord Jesus said, “What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them” (Mark 11:24), He was to give people confidence in their experience, not to let us make unreasonable demands on God. Thinking back on her prayers, she always prayed to God to cure her illness as soon as possible, never seeking the Lord’s will. Her prayers were so unreasonable, how would the Lord listen to them? Liu Xin knew she should be reasonable and learn to seek the Lord’s will when in illness. Only In this way, will the Lord listen to her prayers.
A few days later, when Liu Xin was cleaning the room, she had a sudden headache and felt dizzy. She held on the wall and slowly sat on the sofa, beginning to pray as before, “Lord! Please cure my sickness, Oh Lord…” After praying, a passage of words hit her, “You should seek and submit in your prayers; for example, if a matter came upon you that you didn’t know how to handle, then you say: ‘Oh God! This matter has come upon me, and I don’t know how to handle it. I am willing to satisfy You in this matter, I am willing to seek You, I desire for Your will to come to pass, I desire to do according to Your intentions, and not according to my own. You know that the intentions of man are in violation of Your will; they resist You and do not conform with truth. I only desire to do according to Your intentions. I ask You to enlighten me and guide me in this matter, so that I won’t offend You…’ This kind of tone of voice in prayer is appropriate” (“The Significance and Practice of Prayer”).
Thinking of this, Liu Xin realized she shouldn’t make unreasonable demands on the Lord any more but seek the Lord’s will on her illness. So she prayed, “Lord! When Job’s body was covered in boils, neither did he complain about you, nor did he ask you to remove the sickness. Instead, he obeyed Your orchestrations and arrangements and held faith in You. But when illness came upon me, I kept asking You to cure me. When not cured, I often complain about You, misunderstand You and live in weakness and negativity. Lord! I realize today that I am too unreasonable and disobedient. Now I am willing to entrust this disease into Your hands. Like Job, I will hold faith in You and thoroughly shame Satan. Everything is in your hands and I will obey you. After praying, although Liu Xin still felt a bit dizzy, she was steadfast and bright in her heart.
Later, whenever she felt dizzy, she would pray like this: “Lord, whether You love me or not, whether You give me grace or not, whether my illness is cured or not, I will follow You, pursue to love You, and no longer strike bargain with You…” Liu Xin did not expect that when she truly obeyed God, her dizziness gradually decreased, and she also learnedto God reasonably in disease and seek God’s will.
Dear brothers and sisters, if you have any understanding or enlightenment from God, you’re welcome to share with us via:
1. The online chat window at the bottom right corner of the screen.
2. Send an email to [email protected].
We sincerely hope we’ll grow spiritually through sharing with each other.