I Have Found True Love
I was born into a family particularly preferring sons over daughters. Although I was the only daughter in my family, in my memory, I not only never tasted the care and love of my parents, but was always neglected and snubbed. In order to win my parents’ love and attention, I studied hard, helped them to do housework and obeyed whatever they said. However, no matter how hard I tried, they still focused their attention on my brothers. Despite this, I kept working hard, hoping that someday they would pay attention to me. But one day, I overheard a word “Your father never carried you in the arms when you were a baby.” This word was like a thorn piercing my heart and left me wracked with pain. Whenever I thought of this word in the still of night, I couldn’t help shedding tears. Thus, I made more complaints about my parents and the estrangement between us deepened increasingly. I became self-abased and wordless and always felt a little desolate in my heart, which made me thirsty for more warmth of love.
When I was 20, my schoolmate who grew up together with me and studied in the same school with me for 8 years became the one upon whom I placed my hope. I longed to receive from him the “love” I had never had before. But because the economic condition and reputation of his family were not as good as those of my family, people around us all thought that we were not well-matched. Even though our love met with lots of opposition, I didn’t care about that and no one could prevent me from pursuing true love. At my insistence, we finally got married. This “love” brought me hope, gave me the courage to face life, and roused my great expectation of future. I began to feel happy in my heart. I enjoyed the warmth of love every day and carefully protected this love that was not easily gained. In order to make the love everlasting and unchanging, I did my utmost to give my all. However, good times didn’t last long. This love was finally shattered by the cruel fact.
With the rise of social trends such as “Money isn’t everything, but without money you can do nothing,” “Money makes the mare go,” and “Only care about money,” we were unwilling to fall behind others and followed the trends closely. In order to expand our business, my husband got caught up in the social whirl, and in consequence, singing, dancing and drinking became a part of his life. Gradually, he was also swept away by the trend. Quarrels took the place of the past harmony and warmth. All these changes threw me into discouragement and despair, so much so that I shed tears of bitterness. Yet despite this, I was still unwilling to give up the broken “love” and tried to maintain it carefully. Until one day, my husband betrayed me and abandoned me completely. The “love” I protected carefully dwindled away into nothing and all my efforts came to naught. Right at that moment, my heart was full of anguish as if stabbed by a dagger; anger and hatred against my husband came upon me. During that period of time, my heart was shrouded by darkness; the feelings of loneliness, solitariness and emptiness overwhelmed me once again. I kept asking myself, “I want nothing but only true love; why is it so difficult? My parents who gave birth to me and brought me up don’t love me; my husband who swore to the end of the world in my presence betrays me…. Is there anyone who truly loves me?” Faced with the cruel reality, I felt unprecedentedly helpless and had no idea how to lead my future life. With all hopes dashed to pieces, I even lost the courage to live on.
Just when I was in despair, Almighty God reached out His loving hand and saved me from the edge of death. One day, I came across Almighty God’s words, “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people without any consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, don’t be perplexed, don’t cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a ‘father.’ You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along. He longs bitterly, waiting for a response without an answer. His watching is priceless and is for the heart and the spirit of humans. Perhaps this watching is indefinite, and perhaps this watching is at its end. But you should know exactly where your heart and soul are now.” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh) I read God’s words again and again, and I was deeply moved in my heart. My tears flowed down, falling like beads off a broken string. These words were the warmest and sweetest words I had ever heard. After undergoing the heavy blows from my relatives, I thought I would never find anyone who truly loved me, and thus, I was heart-broken and didn’t believe there was any true love in this world. Nonetheless, from the bottom of my heart, I still longed to find true love. The motherly words of God comforted my heart, and right then I realized that God loves me, has mercy on me and cares for me all along, and that He is always watching by my side and waiting for me to turn back. It was just because I was too numb and got lost and had never known God that He expects me bitterly and waits for a long time. I tasted God’s heart of loving man and felt His broad and warm bosom especially when I read what God says, “He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, don’t be perplexed, don’t cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time.” God’s love makes man’s heart no longer hungry, no longer thirsty, no longer desolate and no longer tearful. This “love” was what I had long yearned for. I found true love at last!
“But how long will this love last? Would I lose it again?” I was enveloped with fear and doubts once again. However, even though I guarded against God and harbored suspicion toward Him, God warmed my heart with His “love” all along. Whenever I was confronted with difficulties, I prayed to and relied on God, and God’s word would lead and guide me like a guiding light; when I fell ill, brothers and sisters took good care of me, asking for no rewards. All these were because of God’s love. God searches men’s hearts and minds; He knew the precaution and suspicion in my heart and moved brothers and sisters to support me. One day, a sister read for me some words of Almighty God, “God’s love overflows, freely bestowed on man and surrounding man; man, innocent and pure and free from cares and anxieties, lives under God’s eyes happily; God is concerned about man, and man lives under the protection and blessing of God, and what man does and man’s every word and deed are all closely related to God and cannot be independent from God.” “That is to say, from the moment God created mankind, God had the responsibility for mankind. What was His responsibility? He was to protect man, and He was to watch over man. He hoped that man would believe and obey what He said. This was also God’s first expectation for mankind.” (from A Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh) After reading God’s words, the sister fellowshipped with me, “‘God’s love overflows, freely bestowed on man and surrounding man.’ Where can we see that? When God was planning to create man, He first created the heavens and the earth and all things to supply man with many things necessary, including air, sunshine, dew, wind, frost, snow, rain, and all kinds of food man needs; all of these are what God has prepared for us and endowed freely to us. Although man stays away from God and no longer worships God after they were corrupted, God still supplies man ceaselessly and has never taken back what they need because of their betrayal! Therefore, even before we believed in God, the supply of God’s love accompanied our life every day, and God had always been watching and caring for man.” After the sister’s fellowship about God’s word, my heart was greatly moved and I felt how true and great God’s love for man is. Yet I was guarding against God cautiously; devious is my heart!
Later on, I read another passage of the word expressed by Almighty God, “‘Love’ as it is called, refers to a pure emotion without blemish, where you use your heart to love, to feel, and to be thoughtful. In ‘love’ there are no conditions, no barriers, and no distance. In ‘love’ there is no suspicion, no deceit, and no cunning. In ‘love’ there is no distance and nothing impure. If you love, then you will not deceive, complain, betray, rebel, take, or ask to receive anything or a certain amount. …” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh) After reading this passage of God’s words, I couldn’t help sighing with emotion: Why do all men desired true love from the bottom of their hearts? So it is because the true “love” is really wonderful! However, no one can define “love” so perfectly and no one possesses such love. Only Almighty God—the Creator, who possesses the substance of “love” alone, has such love! Therefore, although mankind has betrayed Him for several thousand years, He still protects and supplies man as usual. In order to save man from Satan’s influence of darkness, He does the work in the Age of Law, the Age of Grace and the Age of Kingdom, pays out all His efforts, and is silently watching and waiting for the day when man will return to Him! God’s love is gigantic and as boundless as the sea and sky! God’s love is so true and so beautiful! I couldn’t help shouting in my heart, “I have found true love! This love is from the Creator, and is a pure emotion in which there’s no deal, no taking, no barriers and no distance! I’m really fortunate!” I was often moved to tears by God’s love, and gradually put down my guard and suspicion against God. Meanwhile, I felt an unprecedented relief!
Thereafter, God’s love melted my hatred for my parents and my husband little by little. Through reading more words of Almighty God, I am finally clear about the reason why I could not gain their love. It turns out that it is not because they are unwilling to love me but because they don’t have the substance of love at all. My parents’ love for my brothers resulted from the bondage of the feudal thoughts, for they thought that raising sons was to live a comfortable life in old age and that my brothers could carry the family line. My husband loved me in the beginning because I was young and beautiful and my family was wealthy, and later, he chose to love another woman because he was involved in the evil social trends and wanted to satisfy his desire. So, driven by their own benefits, they couldn’t help making various choices. God’s love touches me and makes me no longer hate them. I just hope someday they can also come before God and know God’s selfless love for man! All the glory be to Almighty God!
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