In my childhood, my family was poor. We were often bullied by others due to having no money or power. I remember when I was a teenager, once I saw a neighbor’s boy hitting my younger brother. I hastily ran to draw my brother aside, and asked the boy why he hit him, but the boy actually said, “So what? I just like to do that.” On hearing this, I got mad and quarreled with him. Then he picked up a brick and threw it at me. I was hit on the head, bled heavily, and fainted away. My father sent me to hospital, and I had a dozen stitches and didn’t come to my senses for several hours. Because my parents were honest and my family had neither money nor power, we had to suffer in silence and dared not speak out our indignation within. That incident left an indelible imprint on my mind, and now there is still a long scar on my forehead. Because of that, I was determined to make lots of money when I grew up, so that I could no longer live a life of oppression like this. After my marriage, I knew that my husband, who had graduated from China Central Academy of Fine Arts, didn’t get a job because his family was poor and had no money to send gifts to the officials. So I was aware that without money, one couldn’t survive or achieve anything in this society. Therefore, in order to be rich so that we could no longer be bullied by others and stand up for ourselves, my husband and I chose to start our own business.
In 2002, we opened a snack bar. We were up early and down late, and worked hard every day; whether it was windy or rainy, our business had never been hung up. After three years of hardship and toil, we made a lot of money, and not only did we buy a house in the city, but we also had savings in our hands. I felt so happy, for we were finally able to hold our heads high. Not long after, my older daughter was admitted to a university. In order to help her find a good job after graduation and have a prosperous future and gain glory for us, my husband and I became more energetic in doing the business. We were working and making money without a rest like a fully-wound clock, so that I almost had no time to visit my parents and could only go to see them once half a year. My elder brother said I preferred money to life. We stayed up every night, and my husband sometimes felt dizzy, but we didn’t care about it, for we all thought it was caused by staying up. On the first day of the lunar year of 2005, my younger daughter cut her hand when playing and had several stitches. While she was on a drip, my husband asked the doctor to take his blood pressure. After taking it, the doctor said in surprise, “Your blood pressure is so high. It’s up to 280. I can’t believe you can still walk with such a high blood pressure. It might kill you at any time! You should take a good rest.” Then he advised my husband to receive treatment in the hospital. After receiving infusions for two weeks, my husband was again busily engaged in our business as before.
In 2008, my husband went into hospital again. After the treatment, he was hemiplegic. But he, dragging his half-paralyzed body, still helped me with the business. On the second day of the lunar year of 2012, my husband was hospitalized once again. After leaving hospital, he was paralyzed in bed. I thought every day: If my husband can never walk, how can I do business? At that time I was obsessed by lust for money and thought that with money, any problem could be solved. Seeing him lying in bed, I was burning with anxiety. In order to make him able to take care of himself as soon as possible, every day I carried him on my back to the downstairs clinic and had him receive electrotherapy and acupuncture treatment; besides, I helped him walk for more than 100 circles in the living room, and every step cost him much effort, as if his legs carried heavy loads. Six months went by, and there wasn’t any improvement in his condition. Because of anxiety, I, who was 46, was completely grey. I lived in anguish, not knowing how to walk the road ahead.
In June of 2012, someone preached to me the kingdom of God. I thought, “I’m terribly busy now. I have to do business while helping my husband exercise. We need money both for my husband’s treatment and for my daughter’s university education. Man can’t live in the world without money.” So I refused God’s salvation of the last days. Although I exerted all my efforts, hoping my husband could get better, I still failed at last. In October of 2012, my husband was sent to hospital again. The doctor said to me, “Why do you send him here so late? He will be a vegetable even if he is rescued.” At his words, my legs felt like jelly. I begged the doctor piteously that as long as my husband could be cured, I was willing to spend everything I had. But the doctor said no amount of money could help. I lived in utter despair. Only then did I realize the uselessness of money. In extreme misery, I cried and begged Heavens to help me.
In the early spring of 2013, God’s kingdom gospel came to me again, which brought me back to God’s house from the world. I thanked God for giving me the chance to again. I was filled with remorse and self-blame and felt I owed God too much, for I had missed His salvation once. I was resolved to take this rare opportunity to pursue the truth diligently so as to achieve salvation.
Since then, I read God’s words every day. The more I read God’s words, the more I felt enjoyment. Gradually my heart was attracted by God’s words, and I felt an unprecedented peace and ease. One day I saw these words of God: “None actively seek out the footsteps or appearance of God, and none wish to exist in the care and keeping of God. Rather, they are willing to rely on the corrosion of Satan and the evil one in order to adapt to this world and to the rules of life the wicked mankind follows. At this point, the heart and spirit of man are sacrificed to Satan and become its sustenance. Moreover, the human heart and spirit become a place in which Satan can reside and a fitting playground for it. In this way, man unknowingly loses his understanding of the principles of being human, and of the worth and purpose of human existence. The laws from God and the covenant between God and man gradually fade away in man’s heart until man no longer seeks or pays heed to God. As time passes, man no longer understands why God created man, nor does he understand the words that come from the mouth of God or realize all that is from God. Man begins to resist the laws and decrees from God; the heart and spirit of man become deadened. … God loses the man of His original creation, and man loses the root of his beginning. This is the sorrow of this mankind” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). “Through dissecting these things within people we will discover that the things they yearn for are not righteous, are not of the light, not of the truth and do not conform to facts. Instead, they yearn for those things that are worldly, for things that belong to Satan, and for things that people consider to be good. … Knowledge, status, fame and gain, wealth, power—which of these does God like? Which of them are positive things? Which of them conform to the truth? None of them!” (“The Elements of Faithlessness Within Man and Man’s Nature That Betrays God”). God’s words made me completely come to my senses. From my childhood I believed that one could be looked up to by others if he had money and power. Gradually “Money makes the mare go” became the aphorism of my life. My heart was totally occupied with money, and my thought was distorted. I thought that everyone in the world chased after money and everyone lived for money, fame and gain. After marriage, to adapt to this society, my husband and I struggled desperately for money with our hands and never cared about our health. We were so blinded by money that we sacrificed our lives for it. In consequence, my husband was paralyzed in bed due to staying up and overworking himself for a long time. When God’s gospel of the kingdom came to me, I didn’t take God’s salvation seriously at all, still clinging to my own viewpoint that one cannot live without money and money is needed for everything. Later, my husband turned into a vegetable. Facing such a person that couldn’t think or speak every day, I suffered endless misery and pains in heart, and great trauma and torment in spirit. When I saw my husband lying in bed, yet the money in my hands couldn’t help him at all, I came to realize that money was so worthless to man’s health and life. Over the past decades, I had devoted my life to doing business, and in order to seek money, I suffered a lot and gave almost everything, but eventually got myself into this situation. In retrospect, I had been afflicted by Satan’s philosophies for half my life. Now from God’s words I saw clearly: What I pursued before is wrong and empty, and money is of no value or meaning at all to man, for it cannot be brought with one when he is born or be taken with him when he dies. When I saw through my previous pursuit, I even more hated it. How pathetic and miserable I was to live under the domain of Satan and be possessed, corrupted, and tricked by it for dozens of years! Meanwhile I understood: God created mankind to worship Him, live under His care and protection, and accept His supply of life. And only living in this way is valuable and meaningful.
I read another passage of God’s word: “The source of life comes from God, for all creation, whatever the difference in form or structure. Whatever kind of living being you are, you cannot move counter to the path of life that God has set. In any case, all I wish is for man to understand that without the care, keeping, and provision of God, man cannot receive all that he was meant to receive, no matter how great the effort or struggle. Without the supply of life from God, man loses the sense of value in living and loses the sense of purpose in life. … Then again, do not forget that God is the source of your life” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). From God’s words, I knew that God is supplying man’s life, and no one can transcend God’s sovereignty or break away from God’s authority. Only God, the Creator, is dominating and controlling the fate of all mankind. It was thanks to God’s sovereignty and predestination and moreover His mercy that I could come to His house. I understood and was willing to give the rest of my life to God, letting Him dominate and arrange it.
Through reading God’s words and accepting the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, my views of pursuit changed gradually. I no longer clung to the viewpoint “Money makes the mare go” but conducted myself according to God’s words. I forgot my sadness and troubles, felt so happy in living like this, and realized that this was the true path of life that I should walk. I understood that we humans should and worship God and perform our duties as God’s creations. Recalling that I didn’t live like a human for the first half of my life, I thought: I will never let my daughter walk my old path. I will bring her before God to accept God’s salvation, so that she can believe in God, worship God, and walk the right path of life and will no longer be afflicted by Satan. So I fellowshiped with my daughter about the darkness and evil of the world, and told her that we all lived in the morass of this evil world and were corrupted by Satan unknowingly, and that in our pursuit for what we had been dreaming of, we unconsciously fell under Satan’s spells and were unable to extricate ourselves. Thanks to God’s mercy, He led me, who was one of the victims, step by step to come before Him to accept His salvation. Then through my reading God’s words to her for a period of time, she accepted God’s kingdom gospel. Later she said with emotion, “Mom, you’re looking quite a different person from before. In the past, you only knew to make money with Dad, and lived in suffering. Now I see that through reading God’s words, your views on things have changed, and you have a new mental outlook. If you had spent less effort on business with my Dad two years ago and accepted God’s kingdom gospel earlier, you wouldn’t have suffered so much and my dad wouldn’t have ended up like this. Mom, I’m willing to follow God. I can’t lose this chance of a lifetime.” At her words, I felt comforted and thanked God for His love and salvation. Just as God says, “The love of God extends forth like the water of a spring, and is given to you, and to me, and to him, and to all those who truly seek the truth and await the appearance of God” (“Beholding the Appearance of God in His Judgment and Chastisement”).
Since then, my daughter read God’s words hungrily, learned to sing and dance, and attended gatherings, and her spiritual life grew gradually. Now she is doing her best to perform her duty in spreading the kingdom gospel. We often fellowship with each other, live peacefully and happily before God every day, and exercise entering into the truth in performing our duties. We have walked the true path of life. I thank and praise God from the bottom of my heart. All the glory be to God!