By Anxin, Spain
We all want a happy family, a peaceful relationship with our spouse, and an obedient child. But, many times what we get isn’t what we want. There are countless couples who have ruined marriages because of betrayal. In situations like these, there is often nothing we can do but struggle amidst our torment and depression. Once, I suffered from this pain and lost direction in my life. It was the guidance of God’s words that rescued me from this torment!
I originally had a peaceful home, a very considerate husband, and two cute, adorable children. At the time, I thought I was the happiest person in the world. Later, my husband took on the contract for a project in the city. Unexpectedly, after the project was completed, the construction chief took all the project money and ran. Overnight, we were heavily in debt. Our creditors’ collection efforts left my husband no choice but to go into hiding, while I grew local crops at home to make a living. Although life was difficult, I thought that as long as we loved each other and worked together for the family, things would get better one day.
One day, four years later, a good friend said to me, “You’re so stupid! You’ve been working here like a cow, without ever realizing that your husband has another woman.” I didn’t dare believe it, “Don’t joke about that. My husband would never find another woman.” She told me very seriously that this was true, told me the history of how it had all developed, and said that everyone in the village knew except me. After she finished, the first sensation was nearly unbearable. I felt like I had been humiliated. Over and over, I told myself it was impossible to comfort myself, but I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing. I was filled with confusion: How could he do this to me, after I worked so hard to take care our two children at home, supported the family, and gave him everything? How could what I earned for that be betrayal? The more I thought about it, the more miserable and helpless I felt. What would I do in the future? What about the children?
One day, my son said to me, “I don’t want to go to school.” I was surprised, and asked him, “Why not?” With a pained expression, he said, “I know about what dad did, and my classmates are laughing at me for it. I hate the way they look at me. Also, there’s no money at home, and I hate watching you work so hard. I’ve already thought about it, and I’ve decided to stop going.” When I heard that, I couldn’t help but cry bitterly. I didn’t expect my husband’s betrayal to hurt my son so much. I was furious, and I thought, “This is all because of my husband and that woman. If you won’t let me live in peace, then I won’t let you live in peace either.” So, I went to the city, meaning to find that woman, kill her, and then kill myself, but despite looking several times, I couldn’t find her or my husband. Resentment and grievances piled up in my heart, and I had nowhere to vent them. I was also tired and exhausted from the effort. Living itself was pain for me. I had no way to continue, so I took an overdose of sleeping pills to commit suicide.
When I awoke, I was lying in a hospital bed. My two children, with tears in their eyes, said, “Mom, don’t leave us!” I felt inexpressible pain as when I saw my two children. Heavens! Why are things so hard for me, that I don’t even have the right to die? After I left the hospital, to support my family, I went to get a job in another region. At night, I looked at all the lights burning in the countless homes of countless buildings, and whenever I saw another family happily together, I couldn’t help but think of my two lonely children, so I hid by the side of the road and sobbed.
Later, through a coincidence, a sister preached God’s kingdomto me, and I read God’s words: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has had to wait too long to get an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food, and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: realizing the fact that you came from God, but at who knows what point losing your direction, at who knows what point falling senseless by the wayside, and again at who knows what point acquiring a ‘father.’ Furthermore, you realize that the Almighty has been there the whole time, standing watch, awaiting your return, for a very, very long time. He has been watching with desperate longing, waiting for a response without an answer. His standing watch is beyond price, and it is for the sake of the human heart and the human spirit. Perhaps this standing watch is indefinite, and perhaps it is at an end. But you should know exactly where your heart and your spirit are right now.” Every sentence of God’s words warmed my heart. I thought about all I had experienced in the last few years: my husband’s betrayal, the breakup of my family, how I had been tormented to the point of exhaustion, how I lived in a state of pain and depression … And yet, God had actually never forsaken me. He had been waiting for me to turn around, and looking forward to my return to His home. When I tasted God’s love, I felt like the prodigal son returning to his mother’s arms. I was moved to tears. After that, I went to meetings with my sister to read God’s words and sing hymns of praise to God. Gradually, my heart no longer felt as empty as it had, and a smile could be seen on my face again.
But I still felt resentment and hate about my husband’s betrayal. The thought of it was like a thorn in my heart, always making me feel a vague sense of torment and uneasiness. It lasted until one day, when I saw these words of God, “Satan uses one of these social trends after another to corrupt man’s what? (Conscience, reason, humanity, morals.) What else? (Man’s view on life.) Do they cause a gradual degeneration in people? (Yes.) Satan uses these social trends to lure people one step at a time into a nest of devils, so that people caught up in social trends unknowingly advocate money and material desires, as well as advocate wickedness and violence. Once these things have entered man’s heart, what then does man become? Man becomes the devil Satan! This is because of what psychological leaning in the heart of man? What does man advocate? Man begins to like wickedness and violence. They do not like beauty or goodness, much less peace. People are not willing to live the simple life of normal humanity, but instead wish to enjoy high status and great wealth, to revel in the pleasures of the flesh, sparing no effort to satisfy their own flesh, with no restrictions, no bonds to hold them back, in other words doing whatever they desire. … In this way, man becomes more and more evil, arrogant, condescending, selfish, and malicious. There is no longer any affection between people, no longer any love between family members, no longer any understanding between relatives and friends; human relations have become full of violence.” When I read God’s words, I understood that Satan uses social trends to lure people one step at a time into a nest of devils, trapping people in the great dyeing tank of evil, where it harms and swallows them. Today’s society is becoming ever darker and more depraved, people’s morality and personality become ever more degraded, and they are selfish, self-interested, and greedy for wealth. Extramarital affairs, dating rich men, and keeping mistresses have become trends. There is no longer any intimacy or care between people, and purely to satisfy their own lusts, people indiscriminately indulge the flesh and lack any conscience or reason, leading far too many families to break up. Only at this point, I realized that the root cause of all this is that Satan’s evil trends poison people, and bring them to the point of no return. I recalled that my husband was originally a person who was content, well-behaved, and self-disciplined, but he was poisoned by the evil trend of “The red flag at home does not fall, the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze,” which is why he found a mistress, disregarded the life or death of his wife and children, and became cold, ruthless, and inhuman. Didn’t my husband become what he is today because he is a victim of these evil trends? All the pain our family had suffered was the result of being harmed by Satan! Satan is the chief culprit! When I realized this, I no longer hated my husband so much. Instead, I felt sympathy and pity for him as someone who was cruelly harmed by Satan and didn’t even know it, and I felt a great sense of release.
Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give upon those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary. When God begins work on someone, when He has chosen someone, He does not proclaim it to anyone, nor does He proclaim it to Satan, much less make any grand gesture. He just very quietly, very naturally does what is necessary. … The most important thing that God has to do is to guarantee your safety, to guarantee that you will not be devoured by Satan.” Each of God’s words touched my heart. Even though Satan raises these evil trends to corrupt and ruin mankind, and make people live more as demons than human beings, God controls all of Satan’s actions. There is nothing He does not know, and He was silently and undetectably protecting and keeping watch over me to ensure this evil trend would not swallow me, meticulously preserving my safety. When I remembered that my husband had never betrayed me in the past, so when it happened, I felt an unwillingness to accept it, and hatred of him. I had even thought that I would kill them and then myself. It was God who miraculously kept me from going down the path of no return. When I felt that life was hopeless, I overdosed on sleeping pills to kill myself, and it was also God who pulled me back from the brink of death. This was when I realized that even though Satan corrupts and ruins me, God had never left my side, and was always watching over me and protecting me. God brought me to His home, allowed me to enjoy His words, helped me discern and see through this evil trend raised by Satan, made me able to understand the truth of mankind’s corruption by Satan, and gave me the opportunity to pursue the truth, attain salvation, and. When I understood God’s love and salvation for me, I was moved to tears. I fell to my knees and prayed to God, “God! Thank You for bringing me before You. You saved me from suffering harm at the hands of Satan and brought me into Your house, where I enjoy Your mercy, love, and care. God, You have allowed me to find direction and hope in life, I wish to pursue the truth and live up to Your salvation, and I wish to give the second half of my life to You, and live a new life!”
Later, through meetings with my brothers and sisters, fulfilling our duties together, and helping and supporting each other, I truly tasted the warmth of home in the church. As I gradually came to understand the truth, I emerged from the cloud of my husband’s betrayal, I stopped living in my previous sadness and depression, and my heart felt ever more release. When I think of the depression, anxiety, and endless darkness that used to define me, and then look at the transformation I’ve achieved today, I can’t help but give thanks to God!