How to Stop Being Self-abased?

If your colleagues treat you as if you were empty air and ignore you, you will think there is nothing good about yourself in a group, and thus you will feel inferior and depressed. Then, how should you solve this problem? After reading this essay, you’ll know.

By Xinzhi

On the message board of Loving Stage page, a commenter wrote:

Now, I’m somewhat depressed, and don’t want to speak to anyone. I think I’m ordinary in every aspect among others, and my colleagues often treat me as if I were empty air, ignoring my existence, so I feel very bad and somewhat inferior.

Xinger, a believer in God
The Reply of Spiritual Q&A:

Peace in the Lord! Sister Xinger, after seeing your message above, I greatly understand your current feeling and distress, because I was in a similar condition a little while ago. Afterward, I quieted my heart before God, and through seeking the truth, I knew if we want to solve inferiority, first we should know the source of inferiority, and then seek how to pursue the truth to fundamentally solve the psychology of inferiority resulting from being ignored and despised by others.

With regard to the question, I have ever quieted my heart before God to seek in what context I will develop the psychology of inferiority. Later, I found that: In a group, I saw various conditions of the people around me were better than mine, such as, the conditions of their families, their appearance, their height, their caliber, their eloquence, and so on. However, no matter how hard I worked, I couldn’t catch up with them. Under this kind of circumstance, the inferiority would burgeon quietly in my heart. What’s more, when I scrambled for the chances of showing off myself again and again but was struck down by the reality again and again, then the sense of inferiority would cling to me like a label that I couldn’t shake it off. In this way, I fell into endless sufferings. I supposed: In a crowd, if I were the stronger one and were outstanding, would I still feel inferior? Apparently not. Therefore, it wasn’t someone or some kind of circumstance that made me inferior but it was my wrong views on pursuit. After we are corrupted by Satan, Satan’s toxins of “ranking higher than others,” “being an important person” have been deeply rooted inside us. So we always want to be approved and worshiped by others, thinking that if we are in a high status, we’ll live a life of value and meaning. Once the desires of our pursuit can’t be satisfied, we will feel inferior and that we can’t raise our heads before the crowd. That means we have fallen for Satan’s trick. Satan uses status and fame to corrupt, harm and devour us so that we become degenerate and distant from God, become jealous of and hate others; besides, it makes us refuse the people, matters and things that God arranges for us, want to hide ourselves, and not want to say and see anyone anymore.

Self-abased, a woman seat and look out the window

God’s words say, “A corrupt satanic disposition is very deeply rooted in people, it is their life, and so what is the pursuit of a human? What do people want to gain? Under the driving force of a corrupt satanic disposition, what are people’s ideals, hopes, ambitions, and life goals and directions? Aren’t they contrary to positive things? Firstly, people always want to be stars, famous people, or famous actors. Are these positive things? They wish to gain great fame and prestige, to bring honor to their ancestors, which is not at all in line with positive things. In addition, this runs counter to the law of God’s rule over mankind’s fate. Why would I say that? What kind of person does God want? Is it someone who is great, a celebrity, a noble person, a world-shaking person? Is that the kind of person that God wants? (No.) So what kind of person does God want, then? Tell Me. (Someone with their feet firmly on the ground, who is a worthy creature.) Aha, so someone with their feet firmly on the ground who pursues to be a worthy creature, who can fulfill a creature’s duty. This is one part of it. What else? (Someone who fears God and shuns evil.)” God’s words speak very clearly. Our views on pursuit are negative things, and Satan’s life views, which runs counter to God’s requirements of us that we should seek the truth, be men with our feet firmly on the ground, and fulfill a creature’s duty. The reason why we feel inferior is because we are arrogant in nature, live by satanic views of life, and want to be famous people and noble people to let others worship and approve us.

That we know the root of being inferior doesn’t mean that we won’t feel inferior any more, for inferiority is a sort of corrupt disposition, but not a fleeting mood. If we depend on our self-control to dispel the inferiority, we’ll never achieve change; only God can help us solve it. The Creator said, “To say goodbye to one’s previous goals in life, to summarize and analyze one’s previous lifestyle, philosophy, pursuits, desires, and ideals, and then to compare them with God’s will and demands for man, and see whether any of them is consistent with God’s will and demands, whether any of them delivers the right values of life, leads one to a greater understanding of the truth, and allows one to live with humanity and human likeness. When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals of life that people pursue and their various different ways of living, you will find that not one of them fits the Creator’s original intention when He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all pits into which humanity falls, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God.” God’s words give us the direction of life: We should lay aside the previous goals in our pursuit and life views, and no longer pursue to make others look up to us, take us seriously, and surround us. Furthermore, we should only pursue to do everything well that we should do with our feet firmly on the ground. Actually, when each of us comes into this world, our appearance, our talent, what family we are born into, and what kind of job we will do are all things destined by God, and we can’t change. This is just as singers are born with the gift of singing, writers with the gift of writing, businessmen with the mind of doing business, and so on. If God predestines us to be grass, we should perform the function of grass well, learn to treat ourselves properly, and accept God’s domination of us. In this way, we can get rid of the shadow of inferiority, and our heart will be released and free. When we put our attitude right, treat those who are greater than us properly and draw on their strengths to make up for our shortcomings, we’ll realize what God has arranged for us is the best, and the most beneficial to us.


feel happy,How to Stop Being Self-abased

However, on the basis of putting aside our old views of life, we should also have the courage to face all the environments, people, matters, and things which are not in line with our conceptions, and which even thwart our desires. Especially when we are faced with those things in which we can’t take the limelight, and when we meet someone who is stronger than us, we’ll still compare with others and face the situation of being despised or ignored. At that time, the psychology of inferiority still will come into being in our heart. First, we should come before God and make a prayer of submission to Him to get His illumination and leading to understand His will, so that we can get His care and protection, won’t take extreme actions to harm the people around us, and moreover, can avoid falling into temptation and being incapable of escaping. Then, we should dissect in detail the thoughts and ideas which result in our inferiority. Next, we should reflect on God’s word to see whether they are compatible with God’s requirements of us. Once we find we deviate the rules for the existence God made for us, we should turn around in time and practice according to God’s words. God’s words say, “You must learn to give up and set aside these things, to yield, to recommend others, to allow them to stand out. Do not struggle furiously and rush to take advantage as soon as you encounter an opportunity to stand out or obtain honor. Learn to back off, but do not delay the performing of your duty. Be a person who performs his duty out of the public eye, and who does not show off before others. The more you give up and set aside, the more peaceful your heart will be and the more space will open up within it, and the more your condition will improve. The more you struggle and compete, the darker will be your condition; try it if you don’t believe it. If you want to turn around this kind of condition, if you want not to be controlled by these things, then you must first set them aside and give them up.” The more we practice God’s words to give up our status, reputation, and face, the more released our heart is. Practicing this, you will gradually experience the authority and power of God’s words. When having true faith in and reliance on God little by little, you will obtain freedom and liberation in your heart, and inferiority will be dispelled from your world. In fact, the secret to getting the true joy and peace is that we should practice according to God’s words in all things and let God wield power in our heart. It is just as God’s words say, “You shall not seek the approval of men; isn’t it more valuable and weighty to satisfy Me? In satisfying Me, won’t you even more have eternal and lifelong peace and happiness?

Hope the above reply can help you walk out of inferiority soon and live before God. All the glory be to God!


Read more: How to Stop Comparisons?


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