One night, Jingru was tidying her room.
“Ring…” The phone rang. She picked it up and heard a somewhat familiar voice, “Hello! This is Wang Wei. Are you at home?”
Wang Wei?! She felt somewhat surprised: I haven’t seen him in years, but why is he calling me?
“Um … yes … What’s up?” She asked in surprise.
“Long time no see. I’d like to take you out for a drive. I’m on my way to your house and I’ll be there soon. Please wait for me at the door.” Wang Wei said.
Hanging up the phone, her heart began to churn and her thoughts suddenly went back to the school days.
Not only was she beautiful but also her grades were always good, so there were many male students going after her at school and Wang Wei was one of them. In order to be with her, he used all sorts of means to get closer to her, such as writing letters and sending gifts to her, doing his utmost to express his love for her. However, she was a well-behaved and sensible girl. She did not want a relationship to distract her and affect her studies, but wanted to live up to her parents’ expectations. So facing Wang Wei’s firm pursuit of her, she adopted an attitude of coldness toward him at all times.
However, Wang Wei didn’t give up because of her cold manner. Instead, he sought after her as firmly as before. Several years passed, and his persistence had been repaid with a little moving in the depths of her heart, but it was merely a moving. Afterward, several girls appeared, and spent much time with Wang Wei. They stuck by him all day long, which made her original quiet heart actually become disturbed. She thought to herself that she could use this situation to her advantage to test Wang Wei for a semester. If he didn’t have feelings for them and still loved her, she would accept him …
“Honk!” The honking of the car interrupted her thoughts. Wang Wei was waiting outside the door.
She got into his car. Faced with the long-forgotten and surprising meeting, they both fell silent.
The car was going aimlessly and the atmosphere was somewhat embarrassing.
After a long time, Wang Wei actively broke the silence in the car, “Um … how … have you been?”
“Not bad. I’ve been very well.” She replied casually.
“Where have you been all these years? I have tried all I can to find you, but I failed, just as if you had disappeared from the world. Not until I saw your phone number from a friend’s phone by accident was I able to call you; otherwise, I really don’t know if I would have ever found you.” While driving the car, Wang Wei turned his face toward her every now and then.
“I haven’t gone anyplace. I was just busy, so I didn’t connect you.” She said calmly.
Wang Wei pulled over and began to speak to her from his heart, a note of sorrow and regret in his deep voice, “Back at school, I had sought after you all the time, for five years. However, during that period of time, you were always very cool with me, and I don’t know how I made it through that difficult time. After you quit school, I enrolled in the military academy, but I thought of you in my heart all the time. After I graduated, I tried to find you everywhere, but I couldn’t ever find you. Because of my family’s pressure, I got married, but the place you hold in my heart is still as before, and it will be the same in the future. When I saw your phone number by accident, there was only one word in my mind, that is “regret.” I regretted not seeing you before I got married …”
Listening to these true feelings, Jingru felt a wave of sorrow in her heart. Looking at Wang Wei now, he has become more mature, and she actually had feelings for him at that moment.
“Alas … those years when I sought after you at school, faced with your coldness, I was very confused. So I chose to wait for your response for one more year, but … you were still you, and I was still me. Could you tell me why you never took notice of me at all? What did you think in your heart? Can you tell me?” Wang Wei asked with some noticeable pain.
Hearing this, she also felt a wave of sorrow and regret. What she felt was sorrow because her heartlessness of the past hurt Wang Wei’s heart, and what she regretted was that, because of her coldness, she missed the chance to be with him. Looking at Wang Wei before her, who still had her in his heart and mind, she thought she was no longer a child, but even now, she still hadn’t found a suitable boyfriend, and many people of her age around her had all gotten married, leaving her alone; how she wished to possess a partner who loved her. So many times, she also imagined the romantic scenes that she and her lover enjoyed together, knowing and accompanying each other. Even once in her dreams, she also dreamed that she and Wang Wei married … Thinking of Wang Wei’s firm pursuit of her in the past again, she regretted not cherishing him. Now he still loved her so much, she really wanted to enter his embrace and nestle against him. But her reason told her: Wang Wei had gotten married. As a Christian, she must not be impulsive, much less speak out her true feelings and regret in her heart. Only conducting herself according to God’s requirement was in line with God’s will. Fighting between feelings and reason made her feel some weakness momentarily.
She forced herself to be unperturbed, as if nothing had happened and then answered Wang Wei composedly, “That year, I wanted to test you one more term. If you still didn’t change your heart toward me, I would consider dating you. However, I also thought of my parents’ expectations of me … Maybe this is fate!”
Jingru suppressed her emotion and spoke out these words rationally, but she felt a heartrending pain in her heart. She thought: If time could reverse, she would have surely made another choice—saying yes to Wang Wei without the least bit of hesitation. If so, today’s situation might not have happened. At this time, her suppressed feelings had reached their zenith, and tears began sliding down from her eyes quietly. She was very worried that she would be figured out by Wang Wei, so she turned her face toward the window. However, Wang Wei still realized she was weeping, so he quickly took out some tissues and offered to wipe her eyes.
She silently cried out to God to protect her within so that she could become strong. She took the tissues and said, “I’ll do it myself.” After she wiped her eyes, Wang Wei suddenly held her hand and drew her to himself, wanting to let her lean on his shoulder. At that time, she was upset and just needed a shoulder to comfort her. Instantly, she was in a trance and wanted to lean on his shoulder, but God’s words of teaching man and warning man occurred in her mind: “As for all people who do evil (those who fornicate, or deal in dirty money, or have unclear boundaries between men and women, or who interrupt or damage My management, or whose spirits are blocked, or who are possessed by the evil spirits, and so on—all except My elect), none of them will be let off, nor any pardoned, but all will be cast down to Hades and perish forever!” She suddenly regained her sober thought. God’s words were judging and blaming her, which allowed her to clearly understand: God is holy and His disposition is unoffendable. If she made a mistake in relations with the opposite sex, then this would be an eternal blemish, would be condemned and despised by God, and even more would be hated and cursed by God. Once she made a step forward towards Wang Wei, she would suffer perdition completely. In the face of the situation before her, she felt afraid and uneasy like never before. She also thought that she not only could not do things that offend God’s disposition, but had to respect Wang Wei’s marriage. He was no longer the one who sought after her at school, but instead, he had family, a wife and child. If she acted out of line at this time, she would destroy his family, and the consequences would be unimaginable.
God’s words of judgment made her begin to feel a bit of reverence for God. She shook off his hand hard and said with slight coldness, “It’s too late. Please take me home!”
“So many years, why do you still reject me so much even now? I just want to comfort you. Can’t I do this?” Wang Wei said crossly.
“You’ve misunderstood me. I’m not rejecting you but respecting you because you are a man of family. You should think about your family.” She replied quietly.
“If I divorced, can you give me a chance? I’m not impetuous.” Wang Wei asked immediately.
These words made her heart disturbed. She didn’t know how to answer, so she prayed to God in her heart silently, “O God, may You protect and strengthen my heart so that I won’t do things that offend Your disposition.” After the, she thought of God’s words: “Their words nourish your heart and captivate you so that you become disoriented and without realizing it, you are sucked in and willing to be of service to them, be their outlet as well as their servant. You have no complaints at all but are willing to be at their disposal—you are deceived by them.” God’s words woke her up. She knew that the fluctuations in her heart were because she was controlled by her evil disposition and these satanic evil viewpoints such as “Love is above all,” “The lovers will finally get married,” “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” and “Love is not a sin,” which are Satan’s trickery and enticement; she must distinguish them. She thought to herself: Wang Wei has gotten married, and this is an established fact. I can’t lose my reason and be deceived by these temporary sweet talks. If I choose any actions or say some words excessively, I will just be deceived by Satan and act as its outlet. And then I will become the third party who shatters his family, which will cause his family to be broken and bring everlasting suffering to his family, and what’s more, I will leave a blemish which can never be rubbed off before God.
Calming herself down, she replied calmly, “Don’t act foolishly! Even if you divorce, we can only be friends. I’ll treat your words as a joke. Please take me home.” Seeing her firm attitude, Wang Wei no longer said any words.
Finally, the car arrived at the door of Jingru’s house. When she prepared to get out of the car, Wang Wei tried to hold her hand again. She speeded up and hurriedly got off the car and then sped back her home. After returning home, she lay on the bed and her heart couldn’t quiet down for a long time. Thinking of what had just passed, she was filled with emotion: Without God’s guidance, facing Wang Wei’s true feelings, caring and comfort, she would have been unable to hold herself and would do ugly things that would lose her morality and destroy others’ family. And what was more serious was that she would sink into the test of relations with the opposite sex, offend God’s disposition, and suffer God’s spurn and curse, leaving an unforgivable transgression. She truly tasted: How important God’s words are, which not only could protect her before the test, but also could point out for her the path of practice so that she could live out normal humanity. Such gain in this experience made her feel steady and joyful, so she couldn’t help but give thanks to God from the bottom of her heart and sighed with emotion: She was so lucky that she could follow God and be kept by Him today. She came before God and offered up a grateful prayer and then fell asleep.
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