Synopsis: Born into a rural family, she had had an ambition since childhood, expecting that one day she would have a lot of money and become a person above others, and live a happy life. After she got married, together with her husband, she struggled to earn money, and after many detours and failures, she became rich as she desired, and lived towering above others. However, instead of gaining happiness, she suffered from the torment of illness. In the time of her most pain and helplessness, God reached out His hands of salvation toward her …
I was born in the countryside and envied the rich since childhood. To my mind, money was everything. After I got married in 1988, in order to live a better life and not to be looked down upon, I always immersed myself in how to make more money. When I saw that bean sprouts could earn me money easily, I began to deal in bean sprouts. Day in and day out, I carried my child and worked tirelessly from dawn till dusk, regardless of how hard the job was. As I saw my wealth was gathered increasingly, I forgot the hardship I had endured before and strived harder. In our spare time, my husband and I would work as pork butchers. And my husband would go to unload the cargo for others as a part-time job. During those days, we would devote ourselves to whatever job could earn us much money. Before long, we bought an electronic ignition farm tricycle to buy and sell grains, vegetables, and fruits to and fro between the city and the countryside. After we saw such business was more profitable, we bought a big pick-up truck. Then, I became one of the richest people among my relatives and friends. But I was not satisfied enough and coveted a larger fortune.
Afterward, we bought a 141 truck and a tipper car, starting to transport building materials to construction sites. Gradually, we went into the real estate industry. Our first project, unexpectedly, earned us more than 300,000 yuan. This made me think that I couldn’t miss such a good chance to make more money. Previously when I was poor, my husband’s relatives looked down on me and their tones were usually sardonic, and I had to tiptoe around. Now I was rich, and they would greet me with smile every time they saw me. It was so good to be rich; my back straightened and my word became weighty. Under the reign of the desire for money, my husband and I began to put all our heart into the development of real estate.
Once a crane incident, which caused a sensation throughout the city, resulted in 13 injuries and 3 deaths. When I heard of it, I thought to myself: Though I can make big money in this industry, the risk is too high. One death can make a whole project fruitless. So, I was particularly cautious about the safety of the base of crane. From the time the crane was bedded in the ground, I would get tensed up, because once the base was not settled properly, the crane would be in danger of collapse. When the third floor of the building was being built, I began to pay more attention to the safety of the workers. My heart would rise up to my throat whenever the crane moved and lifted materials. I fixed my eyes on it for fear that something would be wrong. Especially when the crane lifted the timber, I went to supervise the process myself, lest the timber would be insecurely tied and thus fall halfway and hit anyone. As the building got higher, I became more nervous, and was afraid that there would be someone injured or dead. Even when I wanted to buy some food, I had to get up early in the morning to do it. In the daytime, I dared not step out of the construction site. Then because I ran more projects and didn’t have enough money to operate, I borrowed 1.3 million from my second sister-in-law. This brought me more pressure and made me feel extremely nervous all the time.
No matter how carefully I looked after my project, accident still came one day. A worker fell from the ninth floor to the seventh floor, where he was obstructed by the safety net, and then fell into the fifth floor. When I saw that worker, his face was covered in blood with his jacket broken and right leg bone exposed. It scared me so much that I almost lost my bearings and shuddered with terror, and I didn’t recover myself until the ambulance arrived. I was afraid that if he died, I would have to pay 300,000 yuan in recompense and a fine of 100,000 yuan; moreover, every department (including the supervision bureau, the safety agency, and the quality control station) involved in this project would be fined, and all the fine would be paid by me. Then what I had done would come to nothing. Not only would I become debt-laden, but also I would owe him a life, and then my whole life would be finished … The medical treatment of this worker did cost me a lot. However, it was lucky that he was discharged from the hospital without any sequelae. For given too much scare, I got heart disease in this accident. Since then, every time there seemed to be something wrong on the construction site, I would think there was another accident and become very scared so that I had to take heart-saving pills to settle down. Especially on seeing the crane or the high building, I would tremble, and I would feel weak at the knees whenever there was the slightest sign of trouble. Under such pressure all day, my heart disease became worse and worse.
With the project payment withdrawn gradually, I paid off the debt, then bought the best house, car, and got funds in hand. From then on, there was no need in business for me to borrow money from others. My initial wish of making big money was finally fulfilled. However, when I relaxed from a long period of tense state, I began to suffer from cranial nerve disorder, and it at last became so serious as to lead to my daily insomnia. Even if I was so sleepy that I yawned and shed tears incessantly, when I closed my eyes, I couldn’t stop thinking, and what I had experienced before was replayed in my mind scene after scene. Suffering from the long-term sleeplessness, I felt listless throughout my body, with my head drooping all day, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone, becoming fretful on seeing anybody, let alone going downstairs. So I always stayed at home. In order to be cured, I searched around many places, and almost became a herbal medicine pot. However, I didn’t see the slightest improvement in my illness no matter how many medicines I took. I thought: I possess so much money at present, but suffer from illness because of earning money. What is the use of money? It cannot save me no matter how much money I own. I felt that it was better to die than to live in such great pain. I cried and said to my daughter, “My life is like a living hell. I’d better die.” From then on, being afraid that I would commit suicide, my daughter watched me all day long. Sometimes when I stood at the window and stared blankly, she became worried about that I would jump off the building. I felt as if my life was drawing to an end. Later, my daughter had no other choice but to go to the hospital to buy sleeping pills controlling dementia to help me fall asleep. The doctor told my daughter that this pill at most could only be taken one every time. But one pill didn’t work at all, so I took two. Even like this, I could only sleep for three or four hours a day and a night, and this situation lasted for three years. Because of the sleeping pills, my brain often shut down. Nevertheless, there was no other solution to this. I lived amid extreme pain.
When I was most painful and helpless, in the end of September 2011, I accepted the work of in . I saw that the says, “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God” ). “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny. And so people go through their whole lives in a daze of confusion, never once enjoying the good things that God has prepared for them, but instead being damaged by Satan and left in tatters. Today they have become so enervated and listless that they simply have no inclination to take notice of God’s work” (“Work and Entry (1)”). From s, I finally realized that all the pain I had suffered was Satan’s affliction. Satan confused me, bound me, and controlled me with “money” to make me lose sight of the direction of life. In retrospect, wasn’t I living in the torment of Satan these years? For face and status, for my own vanity, and for a life towering above others, I occupied myself in working on the construction site, could not eat or sleep well, and suffered from high mental pressure. Each day I was in a state of high-level anxiety without any control of life. Even after I possessed money, I could not have a good sleep and entirely lost myself, living in the torment of disease, and struggling in living death. From the words of God, I understood that pursuing money, fame, and status is a means by which Satan corrupts and harms man. It is a wrong view of life given by Satan to teach man to tread the wrong path, making man stray farther from God and man’s life more distressed. When I understood all these, I ed to God with a thankful heart, “God! Thank You! Without the revelation of Your words, I wouldn’t have known that I’m living amidst the suffering of Satan, and I would still be blinded by Satan. God! Thanks for Your salvation. From now on, I am going to live well according to Your words, pursue the truth, and no longer live for money.”
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