If I were not saved by God, I would still be drifting in this world,
struggling hard and painfully in sin, every day gets bleak and hopeless.
If I were not saved by God, I’d still be crushed below the devil’s feet,
snared in sin and its enjoyments, ignorant of what my life would be.
If I were not saved by God, I’d be without my blessings here today,
much less know why we should live on or the meaning of our lives.
If I were not saved by God, I’d still be confused about my faith,
still in empty space passing the days, unaware in whom to put my faith.
I have finally understood God’s loving hand holds mine as we go.
I would never go and lose my way ’Cause I’m on this brilliant course to stay.
I have finally understood God’s intent, earnest to man.
Now, whenever I sing this song “If I Were Not Saved By God,” I cannot help offering thanks and praise to God in my heart! Thank God for saving my marriage.
Three years ago, my marriage was on the rocks. At that time, my husband didn’t get along well with his work, so he always lost his temper with me without any reason. I was upset, and I wanted to find someone to pour out my heart. It just so happened that a male colleague was then pursuing me intensely and madly. In the beginning, I just rejected and evaded him. Afterwards, one day, right after a quarrel with my husband, the male colleague called and asked me out to dinner, and with a grudge against my husband, I accepted his invitation. Ever since that time, we had had more and more contact in secret, and I had gone so far as to fall in love with him unconsciously. I even had such an idea in my mind: To be loved is lucky; it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I realized that I was playing with fire and that I had put myself in jeopardy; meanwhile, I was also acutely aware that I could not afford it because I had my own children and family. At that point, I experienced what it meant to sleep in the same bed but dream different dreams. I fell into painful struggle within. Every day I felt wholly guilty and unfaithful to my husband, but I could not help thinking of that male colleague. I was so afraid of doing something for which I would regret miserably later, so as to break up my family in the end. Then, in order to relieve the inner guilt, I often went to a Guanyin hall to worship the gods (because it was said to be very efficacious). I begged the bodhisattva to save me from this doomed relationship and bring me back to the originally peaceful life. However, all my earnest supplications proved useless, and I’d just been deeply caught up in it, incapable of controlling my mind. In extreme struggle and distress, I forced myself not to meet him, but on the other hand I had to conceal it behind a mask of nonchalance in order not to be noticed by others. My heart swelled with guilt, as I found myself duplicitous, hideous, and no longer what I used to be—a good student in the eyes of the teachers, an obedient girl in the eyes of my parents, and a dutiful wife and loving mother in the eyes of other people.
Just then, my mother told me that my brother’s wedding day had been fixed at the end of the month. I thought I might as well go to my maiden home, and drive away my cares and lift my spirits there. Then I bought an air ticket to my hometown to attend my brother’s wedding. To my surprise, this has become a turning point in my life—the salvation of God came upon me.
God saved my marriage.
Thank God for His keeping. The salvation could not have come soon enough. It pulled me back from the edge of sin in time and allowed me to live under the shining of the light. After believing in God, I came to understand that the reason I struggled painfully in sin without being able to extricate myself was that I was bound by my satanic nature. Moreover, I saw the hope from God’s words. God says, “God must become flesh to do His work precisely because man is of the flesh, and incapable of overcoming sin or divesting himself of the flesh.” “The sins of man were forgiven through God incarnate, but it does not mean that man has no sin within him. The sins of man could be forgiven through the sin offering, but man has been unable to resolve the issue of just how he can no longer sin and how his sinful nature can be cast away completely and be transformed. The sins of man were forgiven because of the work of God’s crucifixion, but man continued to live in the old, corrupt satanic disposition. As such, man must be completely saved from the corrupt satanic disposition so that the sinful nature of man is completely cast away and never again develops, thus allowing the disposition of man to be changed. This requires man to understand the path of growth in life, the way of life, and the way to change his disposition. It also needs man to act in accordance with this path so that the disposition of man can gradually be changed and he can live under the shining of the light, and that he can do all things in accord with the will of God, cast away the corrupt satanic disposition, and break free from Satan’s influence of darkness, thereby emerging fully from sin. Only then will man receive complete salvation” (The Word Appears in the Flesh). So, man lives in sin with no control over himself because he has not been rid of his sinful nature and is completely incapable of overcoming sin. Only the Creator has such authority and power to make man achieve changes in disposition and live in the light through His work of purification.
After believing in God, I often read God’s word, and together with the brothers and sisters, sang hymns and fellowshiped about the truth. Besides, I prayed to God regularly, asking Him to protect and quiet my heart so that I could come out of passions and desires and get back to my former peaceful life. Thanks be to God! God had listened to my prayers. Whenever I had those evil thoughts, I would think of God’s words, “The more you satisfy the flesh, the more it demands; if you satisfy it this time, it will make demands of you the next time as well. If you always act in this way, you will eventually love your own flesh more than ever. … The more you satisfy it, the greater its desire grows…. Man’s flesh is like the snake; its basic nature is to harm man’s life. By the time your flesh gets its own way, it is also the time when you lose your life. The flesh is of Satan, it is always full of extravagant desires inside…. If you satisfy the flesh to a certain point, it will eventually consume you” (The Word Appears in the Flesh). Through God’s words, I gradually saw through the essence of the flesh. How horrible it was to give in to the passions and desires of the flesh! I shall never satisfy it any more. I came before God and prayed, “O Almighty God! May You give me the faith and strength to overcome the torments and trickery of Satan, so that I can live under Your care and protection….” Then I turned my heart toward God consciously, read more of God’s words, and sang hymns to praise God. Thank God for His protection. Unknowingly, I no longer thought of that male colleague. My heart was full of peace, joy, release, and freedom, and my life was more enriched. Now, our family of three lives a sweet and happy life. My daughter is very intelligent, and my husband has become considerate. Thank God! All the glory be to God!