In the journey of our lives, each of us has suffered frustrations and sorrow, adversities and pains. We have ever felt desperate and helpless. But, please don’t give up, because there is a love and concern always watching and accompanying you. And I have tasted such a love …
My wife and I did a little business selling green bean pie with our relatives. Every day, we had to get up at 4 o’clock in the morning and work until about 11 o’clock at night. Although it was a little tough or tiring, seeing my family was harmonious, I was comforted in my heart and felt that my efforts were worthwhile. However, such a harmonious life didn’t last long, the miserable and sorrowful life ensued.
My wife and mother often quarreled with each other over trifles. I was caught in a dilemma between them like a sandwich biscuit. When I advised my mother not to quarrel with my wife, my mother said that I forgot her once I had a wife; when I advised my wife not to quarrel with my mother, my wife said that I showed partiality to my mother. After my wife got into angry arguments with my mother, she would vent her anger on me, and say some harsh words to attack me. I always let things slide, refrained from quarreling with her. I thought that as long as she didn’t go too far, it was okay, and that after we quarreled, we were still a family. So I had spent most of my time in family “wars” without gun smoke.
In the blink of an eye, seven or eight years had passed. I had never thought that the family conflicts would become more and more intense and even caused a tragedy.
One night, I heard my mother kept coughing in her room, and I felt something was wrong. Although my mother sometimes coughed, she didn’t keep coughing like today. At the time, my eldest sister held two bowls of water and came to say to me anxiously, “How is the water in my house different from your elder brother’s?” I quickly smelt it and cried in fear, “Oh, no! Sister, why is there a smell of pesticide in the water of your house?” I suddenly thought that tonight my mother had dinner in my eldest sister’s home. Now she coughed so terribly, wasn’t it related to the water? Not having enough time to think, I hurriedly sent my mother to a town hospital. After the examination, it turned out that my mother was poisoned by pesticide. Luckily, due to the timely rescue, my mother was out of danger. Before I came to myself, I heard my eldest sister’s husband was also sent to hospital to rescue because he also ate the meal cooked last night and the poison within it took effect. He was not out of danger until he was hospitalized about a week.
Inquiries were instituted after the thing, and the murderer who poisoned the water in the vat with pesticide was my wife. Such a fact made me shocked that my heart was so sad like being cut by a knife. I couldn’t help but shout in my heart: “Why? I have been going out early and returning late every day to work hard for our family, through the wind and rain. I am even loath to spend the money I earned on unnecessary trifles, and try my best to make my wife and children live a better life, unwilling to let them feel wronged. I always treat my wife genuinely, but how could she be so cruel and do such a wicked thing to me? …”
Afterward, my wife also paid price for what she did. She bore criminal responsibility and was sentenced to four years in prison. Seeing I was always sad because of my broken family, my mother said to me: “Don’t be sad for such a woman as her, it isn’t worth it. In fact, I knew that she’d long ago had an affair with another man. I just didn’t dare to tell you. But I have never thought that she should do such an evil thing to poison us because she was afraid that I would speak out her thing.”
My mother’s words, like a hammer, struck me on my heart that I was extremely sad. I thought: If I had found this thing earlier, I could have divorced her earlier and it wouldn’t have come to this. Now I really couldn’t lift up my head. My nephew scolded me angrily for his father’s being poisoned, “You even cannot control your wife. Are you counted as a man? …” At the moment, anger, hatred and shame all welled up into my mind. These blows made me feel that I was a failure. I thought it was meaningless to live like this.
In a fit of pique, I rode a motorcycle to the seaside. There were dark clouds in the sky, and the wind blew. It seemed that a heavy rain would come. I plodded to the boundless sea, wanting to end my life like this. At the moment, I suddenly thought of my aged parents and two young daughters. I couldn’t help but feel culpable: Do I have the heart to let my parents suffer the pain of facing my death? My children have had no mother love, do I have the heart to let them suffer the pain of losing their father and becoming orphans?
Thinking to here, I halted and squatted on the beach. At the moment, I felt I was like a lonely boat on the sea without reliance. I was helpless, my tears streaming down unceasingly, and I screamed in my heart: Oh! Heaven! What’s happened to me? I should come to this …
In the following days, I inwardly encouraged myself: Cheer up! Don’t give up on yourself! For the sake of children and parents, you have to earn money to support the family. At that time, although I didn’t want to die anymore, whenever I was quiet, thinking of the thing that happened to me, I would have a dull pain in my heart and grievances and distress would well up in my heart that I was unable to breathe.
In order not to make myself think these trouble things, during my free time at work, I started drinking with my friends. I, who didn’t know how to smoke, also got into this bad habit. I wanted to use these things to numb myself. However, no matter how I escaped from worry, in the dead of night, I was still enveloped in grievances and pains in my heart. For a long time, I could hardly get to sleep in every night.
Just when I was most miserable and helpless,came upon me. I saw s say, “Mankind, who left the supply of life from the Almighty, does not know why they exist, and yet fears death. There is no support, no help, but mankind is still reluctant to close their eyes, braving it all, drags out an ignoble existence in this world in bodies without the consciousness of souls. You live like such, with no hope; he exists like such, with no aim. There is only the Holy One in the legend who will come to save those who moan in suffering and long desperately for His arrival. This belief cannot be realized so far in the people who are unconscious. However, the people still yearn for it so. The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. , the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father. You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along.”
God’s words, like a warm current, consoled my heart that had hurt long. At the time, I was like an orphan who had wandered outside for a long time and returned to my mother’s warm bosom. There was an unspeakable feeling that moved my heart. I thought back to the past: The frustrations of my family made me lose face completely. Not wanting to face the cruelty of reality, I wanted to die to escape the suffering. On the point of death, I suddenly thought of my aged parents and young daughters that I missed death. When I was sad and miserable, sleepwalking through life like a walking corpse, God didn’t abandon me. He is always at my side silently, protecting and caring for me. Now He was using His words to call me, which made my numb heart gradually become conscious. I feltand salvation for me. Later, I often attended gatherings and read God’s words, living a life.
However, in the bottom of my heart, there was a knot that hadn’t untied. Sometimes when I thought of the past, I still had grievance against my wife, thinking that all my pain was caused by her. Until one day, I saw God’s words say, “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny. And so people go through their whole lives in a daze of confusion, never once enjoying the good things that God has prepared for them, but instead being damaged by Satan and left in tatters.”
God’s words made me suddenly see the light. It turns out that all kinds of miseries and pains in the world are caused by Satan. At the very beginning, the ancestors of mankindGod created were pure and vibrant, living in God’s care and protection without care or worry. Later, they were tempted by Satan, listened to Satan’s nonsenses and betrayed God. Since then, we human began to keep away from God, living in Satan’s trickery and harm. Leaving God’s care and protection, we human all live by satanic philosophy and principle “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” becoming selfish and mean, mercenary, and fighting and harming each other for the fame and interests. I thought: Didn’t my wife and my mother quarrel and fuss over their own interests? When my wife had an affair with another man, because she was afraid that my mother would expose the scandal, she wanted to silence us. Isn’t this all due to Satan’s harm? Meanwhile, I always lived in the grievances against my wife, thinking that my wife had gone too far. She even cuckolded me making me completely lose face and dignity. Even if she had paid the due price for what she did, it couldn’t relieve my hatred for her. This is all because she involved my interests and made me lose face and not be able to lift up my head before others that I was not relenting at all. I was unwilling to put aside the hatred in my heart and lived in the torment of the pain. I saw that I was also teased and tormented by Satan like this. Through the enlightenment and guidance of God’s words, I gradually put aside my hatred toward my wife. My spirit was also relaxed and free a lot.
Later, I saw God’s words say, “Because the essence of God is holy, that means that only through God can you walk the bright, right road through life; only through God can you know the meaning of life, only through God can you live out a real life, possess the truth, know the truth, and only through God can you obtain life from the truth. Only God Himself can help you shun evil and deliver you from the harm and control of Satan. Besides God, no one and nothing can save you from the sea of suffering so that you suffer no longer: This is determined by the essence of God. Only God Himself saves you so selflessly, only God is ultimately responsible for your future, for your destiny and for your life, and He arranges all things for you.”
Yeah! God is the Ruler and Master of all things. Only God can save us mankind and bring us light. Only if we accept God’s salvation and pursue the truth can we achieve fearing God and shunning evil, walk on the right path of life, and live out a valuable and meaningful life. Thinking back to the past things, if it were not for God’s salvation, I would never know God’s earnest intentions and eager desire to mankind, I would never have discernment of the means how Satan corrupts and harms mankind, I could only fall into the trap of hatred and couldn’t extricate myself, and even I would lose my life. It’s God’s salvation that makes me walk out of confusion, pains and hatred, makes me who have drifted so many years finally find a haven to berth at. Thinking to here, I couldn’t help but offer a gratefuler to God: “Oh, God! I thank You and praise You. Thank You for selecting me and saving me, making me rid of pains and hatred and giving me direction and goal of my life. I’m willing to follow You forever, to walk the correct path of life of believing in God and pursuing the truth, and to fulfill my duty well as a created being to repay Your love.”
May all the glory be to God!
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