How Did She Find A Way to Handle the Difficult Flatmate?

By Chenxiao

On Sunday morning, Xiaoxiao was sitting in front of the computer. She rubbed her temples, sipped the coffee, and continued to look at the half-finished fiction, thinking: Today, I have to finish it.

Just then, a bang interrupted her thoughts. She thought it may be that her roommate Yaoyao got up. Xiaoxiao shook her head and her eyes revealed a trace of disdain. She thought: She always makes a lot of noises when doing things and doesn’t show consideration for others’ feelings…. Out of courtesy, Xiaoxiao walked out of her bedroom. She saw that Yaoyao was putting on her shoes, and was about to go out. So she asked Yaoyao mannerly, “Are you going out?” Yaoyao continued putting on her shoes seriously and just murmured, without raising her head, “En.” As soon as she put on her shoes, she left.

The moment the door was closed, Xiaoxiao looked around the two-bedroom shared house, feeling very uncomfortable. Before this matter happened, she and Yaoyao had been best friends who didn’t keep anything from each other, just like full-sisters. No matter what happy things they encountered, they shared with each other. No matter what grievous things happened, they were faced with them together. Later, they rented a house and lived together. In the beginning, they could get along well with each other. But gradually, there were many conflicts between them. The most difficult for her to accept was that Yaoyao was careless. When doing things, she was always casual without showing her concern for other’s feelings and was not calm at all. During this period, though they two lived under the same roof, and sometimes they had meals together, yet the home atmosphere was rather gloom and they were embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. She wanted to avoid her, but she didn’t want to lose their friendship. This contradictory psychology made her feel so depressed and sad that she didn’t know what to do. It was becoming dense, just like Xiaoxiao’s mood at that moment.

After a while, the hunger reminded her that high noon came. She entered the kitchen with her head hanging, and started to cook the tomato and egg noodles. When she finished cooking, she scooped out the soup with a spatula. But she failed after trying several times. Only then did she, who was inattentive, come back to her mind. To scoop out the soup, she should use a spoon. But she felt that the handle of the spoon was too short to be awkward to use. She persisted in using a spatula a few times, but failed. Only then did she take out a spoon to scoop. Just a couple of times, she scooped the soup out.

At that time, a paragraph of words rose in her mind, “Do you have this thought in your heart? When thinking of a person, you first think his shortcomings as well as his corrupt places. Is it correct? So if you think in this way, then you can never normally interact with others” (“How to Establish Normal Personal Relationships” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry I). Suddenly she remembered a paragraph of God’s word, “To adapt to your environment, you must first realize something: There are all kinds of people out there, with all sorts of living habits. Living habits do not represent a person’s humanity. Just because your living habits are disciplined, normal, and dignified does not mean you possess the truth. You need to get this fact through your head, and gain a positive appreciation for it. Furthermore, God has arranged such a fantastic environment for you. You have too many personal issues; you must learn to adapt, and not pick at the bad habits of others. Moreover, you have to be able to get along with them based on love, and get close to them; you need to see their strengths, learn from their strengths, and then pray to God and overcome your own problems. This is the attitude and practice of submission. … We are common people; we are ordinary people. Do not think of yourself as being so noble or great. Even if you possess some special talents, skills, or strengths, they are nothing to brag about. You must first stand in the right position, the proper position. In this way, you will not make a mountain out of a molehill when you encounter problems or find yourself in various situations, and you will be able to submit” (“The Five Conditions People Have Before They Enter the Right Track of Believing in God”). These words made Xiaoxiao come to her senses. Because she had an arrogant disposition, she couldn’t interact with Yaoyao. When encountering things, she always liked fixating on Yaoyao’s issues, and even comparing her advantages with Yaoyao’s shortcomings. Thus she gave her the cold shoulder, looked down upon her and couldn’t treat her fairly. As a result, Xiaoxiao thought highly of herself. Actually, everyone has his or her advantages and shortcomings and their life styles and characters are different. Nobody is perfect. Even if we think we’re better than others, we can’t disdain others, but we should have a heart that submits to God. Even though the people, events and things around us are not entirely as we wish, they are God’s meticulous orchestrations and arrangements that are to change us. We must learn to treat other people correctly, to stand on an equal position with others, and to draw on the strengths of others to make up our own shortcomings. Thus, we will get along well with others.

Pondering these contents, Xiaoxiao suddenly remembered that when she made noodles, she preferred to use a spatula, rather than use a spoon which had a short handle. Nevertheless, no matter how she liked using a spatula, it was unable to scoop out soup. To scoop out soup, she could only use a spoon which had a short handle. From this, she saw that everything has its unique function. Nobody could replace others; moreover, God doesn’t make certain demands on everyone’s characters and life styles. But she herself looked at people according to her personal preferences, and disdained other people who were not in line with her will. Was she not extremely unreasonable? In thinking about this, Xiaoxiao nodded her head, pondering: These words of God are correct. I indeed must learn to discover other’s strengths and treat others with developing eyes, and only in this way can I have a normal relationship with others. Thinking of Yaoyao and me: Though she is careless and acts without steadiness, yet she is aggressive, dares to think and do and has the vitality that should be found in young people. I’m steady, but sometimes I have some outdated and feudal thinking, and lack the vitality and energy of youth. Her strengths are very good complements to my lack. It is simply that I always fix my eyes on her shortcomings and haven’t truly found her strengths. At that time, seeing the bowl of tomato and egg noodles, Xiaoxiao was overwhelmed with emotion, because she knew that she was wrong. Just then, she didn’t disdain Yaoyao anymore, but wanted to accept her strengths and shortcomings and learn to get along well with her.

After the meal, Xiaoxiao’s heart calmed down and she continued writing the unfinished fiction. The darkness quietly fell and outside the window, the neon lights flashed on and off. Xiaoxiao stood at the window, staring outside. Looking at the busy pedestrians, she thought that there were several places in the fiction where the characters were not described very well, but she couldn’t think up how to depict so as to bring characters to life … At that time, she remembered imaginative Yaoyao. If Yaoyao had been at home, this problem would have been solved soon. Only then did Xiaoxiao have a bit of understanding of these words from God, “We are common people; we are ordinary people. Do not think of yourself as being so noble or great. Even if you possess some special talents, skills, or strengths, they are nothing to brag about” (“The Five Conditions People Have Before They Enter the Right Track of Believing in God”). Everyone has defects and nobody is perfect man. We should learn to humble ourselves, learn from others’ strong points with a humble heart and treat others’ lack correctly. Only thus can we get along well with other people.

With the sound of opening the door, Xiaoxiao knew it was Yaoyao. She grinned, pulled Yaoyao into her bedroom, shared the experience of day-time and asked her how to describe the characters in the fiction. Yaoyao also began to know herself and earnestly helped Xiaoxiao. They two talked and laughed, regaining the former intimacy. The long-forgotten laughter sounded in their shared house. It was God’s words that resolved their contradiction. Xiaoxiao’s fiction was also finished in a short time. This is the effect of their harmonious partnership.

To God be the glory.

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