By Cong xin
It was an afternoon. When I returned home after a gathering, I saw that my husband was sitting down at the computer desk, looking worried and holding a telephone, constantly flipping through phone numbers. I asked him, “What’s wrong? What happened?” He didn’t answer. Afterward, only after I kept asking him did he respond, “Our storefront loan is due soon. The principal and interest total over 500,000 yuan. We have to repay it in three days.” On hearing this, I was shocked, saying, “Ah! So much money! Where can we get it?” My husband lowered his head and didn’t say a word. Immediately, I felt as if my head was about to explode and I felt lost. Meanwhile I was very angry and dissatisfied, complaining within: “We are finished! Other debts are still not paid in full, and now, another one is due soon. It’s your father’s fault for insisting on buying this house. Won’t the storefront be sequestrated if we are unable to pay off the loan? We just put money into our business and haven’t got any return, but now the investment will just be money down the drain! What should we do if we have no place to live? We owe so much money, how will we live?” I really wanted to yell at my husband to vent my complaints. But then I thought that won’t solve any problems. Afterwards, as I saw that my husband frowned and was confused, my heart became even more anxious.
With time going by bit by bit, the due date was staring us in the face, but where could we borrow that large a sum of money? What should I do? I couldn’t waste time, and had to quickly figure out how to get the money. Subsequently, I offered counsel to my husband, asking him to borrow money from my brother-in-law. I thought that my brother-in-law wouldn’t refuse to help us but would lend us at least thirty or forty thousand yuan because he was rich. However, I never thought that he would say that he could only lend us ten thousand yuan, and in the end not giving us the money, using the excuse that he actually had no money. Although such a reply hurt me so much, I didn’t give up but continued racking my brain to find all sorts of ways to borrow money. With high interest rates, we borrowed money from my and my husband’s connections; we also used all of the money on our debit cards. In these ways, we got some money from here and there, but the amount was far from that of the loan. I was surrounded by depression, loss, and helplessness, and only thought of solving this difficulty in a hurry. I even wished that time could stand still forever, and that tomorrow wouldn’t come, because I was afraid that I would be criticized by others if I couldn’t pay the loan on time. I really didn’t know what to do. The anxiety and sadness in my heart, just like a large mountain, stressed me to the point of suffocating me.
Just when I was in desperate straits, I suddenly realized: I am a Christian and I should pray to God! Faced with such a big thing, I’ve been trying all this time to solve it with my own abilities but never came before God or entrusted it to God. Thus, I knelt in God’s presence to pray, “Oh, God! Encountering such a thing, I’ve already thought of everything I can do but it’s useless. Now I don’t know what to do. I feel great pain, and don’t know how to walk out of this predicament. Oh God, may You enlighten me and guide me….”
After praying, I read a passage of God’s word, “When confronting real-life problems, how should you know and understand God’s authority and His sovereignty? When you do not know how to understand, handle, and experience these problems, what attitude should you adopt to show your intention, your desire, and your reality of submitting to God’s sovereignty and arrangements? First you must learn to wait; then you must learn to seek; then you must learn to submit. ‘Waiting’ means waiting for the time of God, awaiting the people, events, and things that He has arranged for you, waiting for His will to gradually reveal itself to you. ‘Seeking’ means observing and understanding God’s thoughtful intentions for you through the people, events, and things that He has laid out, understanding the truth through them, understanding what humans must accomplish and the ways they must keep, understanding what results God means to achieve in humans and what accomplishments He means to attain in them. ‘Submitting,’ of course, refers to accepting the people, events, and things that God has orchestrated, accepting His sovereignty and, through it, coming to know how the Creator dictates man’s fate, how He supplies man with His life, how He works the truth into man. All things under God’s arrangements and sovereignty obey natural laws, and if you resolve to let God arrange and dictate everything for you, you should learn to wait, you should learn to seek, you should learn to submit. This is the attitude that every person who wants to submit to God’s authority must take, the basic quality that every person who wants to accept God’s sovereignty and arrangements must possess. To hold such an attitude, to possess such a quality, you must work harder; and only thus can you enter into the true reality” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). After reading God’s words, I understood that in this situation God asked me to possess a heart of seeking, obeying, and waiting, and to no longer try to solve it by myself, but experience His sovereignty and arrangements. At the time, I recalled that when Job lost his livestock that covered the mountains, he didn’t complain; instead, he submitted to God’s domination and arrangements, saying these words, “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah,” and finally stood firm and bore witness for God. Although I didn’t attain such submission as that of Job, yet I was willing to keep an obedient attitude to face this environment. After understanding a little of God’s intentions and demands, I entrusted this situation to God and no longer tried to use my own abilities to solve it. Even if I couldn’t get money and my house was sequestrated and I had no place to live, I wouldn’t complain; whether I was able to borrow the money or not and whatever the future would be, I believed in God’s sovereignty and arrangements and waited for God to reveal His intention to me. When I faced this situation with such an attitude, I was, truly, no longer worried and oppressed, but felt particularly relieved and free. Later, I said to my husband, “We don’t have to worry about this situation anymore. Let’s play it by ear and just borrow as much as we can.”
When I was willing to depend on God, no longer trying to solve this problem by myself, but let God rule over my life, on the day when we had to repay the money, my husband let out a sigh of relief and said, “We’ve raised over 500,000 yuan in two days, and we’ve finally managed to pay off the loan! I did not expect that our tenant had a year’s rent for the house paid in advance before the day it should be paid, and what’s more, that he would lend us money.” After hearing this, I was particularly excited: Unbelievable! When we racked our brains and tried our best to borrow money everywhere, and couldn’t even get any money at a high interest, when I completely entrusted the thing to God with all my heart, I really saw that God rules over everything, and that the heart and spirit of man would change according to His orchestration.
Afterward, I read another paragraph of God’s word, “There will always be some people who want to see for themselves what they are capable of; they want to change their fates with their own two hands, or to achieve happiness under their own power, to see whether they can overstep the bounds of God’s authority and rise above God’s sovereignty. The sadness of man is not that man seeks happy life, not that he pursues fame and fortune or struggles against his own fate through the fog, but that after he has seen the Creator’s existence, after he has learned the fact that the Creator has sovereignty over human fate, he still cannot mend his ways, cannot pull his feet out of the mire, but hardens his heart and persists in his errors. He would rather keep thrashing in the mud, vying obstinately against the Creator’s sovereignty, resisting it until the bitter end, without the slightest shred of contrition, and only when he lies broken and bleeding does he at last decide to give up and turn back. This is true human sorrow. So I say, those who choose to submit are wise, and those who choose to escape are pig-headed” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). Through reading God’s words, I further understood that although I believed in God, I only admitted in my heart that God is the Ruler of all things. However, when facing practical difficulties, I didn’t believe that God rules over the fate of mankind and still chose to rely on my two hands to change my fate. Facing this circumstance when we were unable to repay the debt, I blamed my father-in-law, and even wanted to lose my temper with my husband; I did not put God’s words into practice at all. As a result, I always ran into a wall, was exhausted physically and mentally, and suffered unspeakably. From going through this situation, I realized that in real life, I was relying on my ability to deal with each situation, and didn’t trust that God has authority over my everything, and that He is my reliance. Ordinarily, when I read God’s word, I only understood its literal meaning. I didn’t apply the truth that God holds sovereignty over all things to real life to experience and make the truth become my reality, but always wanted to solve things by myself, so I couldn’t see God’s leadership or know that God rules over everything. Through this situation, I understood God’s intention: He wanted to add the truth of obeying God’s sovereignty and arrangements within me, allowing me to have a true knowledge of His authority and domination.
Thank God! I have benefited a lot from this experience. The reason why I was happy and thanked God was not that He had helped me solve my trouble of raising money, but because of what I had learned from this situation. When I was confronted with difficulties and maintained an attitude of waiting, seeking, and obeying, I witnessed God’s deeds in reality. I truly believed that God is the Ruler over all things. He not only allowed me to deeply experience the power of His word, but also to have a real understanding of the His sovereignty as the Creator. As the proverbs say, “Man proposes, but God disposes,” and “Farming depends on man, harvesting depends on Heaven.” I deeply felt that my devotion or efforts do not decide whether I can succeed or not, but that everything is all in God’s hands.
In this complex society, we will face all kinds of troubles and difficulties every day, and many times we merely handle them based on our thoughts, abilities, and man-made ways. If we fail, we will consider that we haven’t tried our best and our ability falls short; if we succeed, we will think it’s because of our own wisdom, labor and efforts. No matter what we do, it is unrelated to God. If we continue to experience in this way, we will never have a true knowledge of God’s sovereignty, much less see His practical deeds and obtain His approval. When we face situations in our daily life, whether they are good or bad, big or small, we should’s dominion, and learn to wait for God’s arrangements, seek His will, and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements in everything. Only in this way can we truly experience God’s authority and dominion and obtain the reality of this truth.