When I was a child, all my family spoiled me very much and my elders even regarded me as a “little princess,” because I lived in a three-generation family as the firstborn daughter and granddaughter. My parents were very busy every day, so I spent my childhood with my grandpa and grandma. In my memory, Grandpa always cared for me in every way for fear that I might feel a little upset. He bought me everything I wanted, and never shout at me even if some of my requests were rather unreasonable. Sometimes I was very willful and my father became unbearable and wanted to scold me, but my grandpa always shielded me and chided him. Thus, I, having grandpa as my “backer,” became more unruly. If the dishes weren’t to my taste, Grandpa would cook a new meal for me; if I wanted to eat snacks, my parents had to buy some for me quickly or gave me some money. In my home, I could do whatever I like. If someone didn’t satisfy my requests, I would throw things around. Because my family spoiled me blindly, I had a bad temper and got into the habit of acting arrogantly and willfully, which is called “princess syndrome” in the word of the post-90s generation. Later, my grandpa passed away and I lost my “backer.” However, my “princess syndrome” didn’t get any better, but instead became much worse. As soon as what my parents did displeased me, I would bolt myself in the room and smash things, or fast, or run away from home. Finally, my parents had no choice but to grant my request. As time passed, my parents felt quite helpless for my temper. Sometimes my father was so angry with me that he even beat me. It didn’t work at all yet encouraged my reverse psychology. Afterwards, they failed to teach me and had to let me go free. My father always said helplessly, “This child is spoiled from a child. It would be a miracle if someone made her submit.”
Later my mother accepted God’s work. Every time I didn’t listen to her and lost temper, she didn’t educate me or scold me angrily any more but read to me calmly. In the beginning, I was unwilling to listen to that and still was wild about her, making trouble out of nothing. However, my mother still talked to me patiently, and it made me feel curious. If it were in the past, she would have long become angry. Are the words of God really so powerful? I lost in confusion and began to listen to God’s words my mother read. God says, “… man’s corrupt nature is all from Satan and man’s nature has been processed by Satan and corrupted by Satan.” (from “A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)”) “Of course, corrupt people without any status will also frequently lose control. Their anger is frequently caused by damage to their individual benefits. In order to protect their own status and dignity, corrupt mankind will frequently vent their emotions and reveal their arrogant nature. Man will flare up in anger and vent his emotions in order to defend the existence of sin, and these actions are the ways with which man expresses his dissatisfaction. These actions brim with defilement; they brim with schemes and intrigues; they brim with man’s corruption and evil; more than that, they brim with man’s wild ambitions and desires.” “Regardless of whether one becomes angry in the sight of others or behind their backs, everyone has a different intention and purpose. Perhaps they are building up their prestige, or maybe they are defending their own interests, maintaining their image or keeping face. Some exercise restraint in their anger, while others are more rash and flare up with rage whenever they wish without the least bit of restraint. In short, man’s anger derives from his corrupt disposition. No matter what its purpose, it is of the flesh and of nature; it has nothing to do with justice or injustice because nothing in man’s nature and substance corresponds to the truth.” (from “God Himself, the Unique II”) Through God’s words and my mother’s fellowship, I knew that one becomes angry in order to defend his own interests, or build up his prestige. It is all satanic disposition of haughtiness, arrogance, selfishness and baseness that makes man more rash and flare up with rage in their anger. Behind man’s anger is Satan’s tricks. Its purpose is to afflict man and make man to be a base and ghost-like person. Man all loses the normal humanity he should possess when God created him in the beginning. So in order to make man live out the likeness of a real man and break away from the domain of Satan, God personally becomes flesh to do the work of managing and saving man.
By reading God’s words continuously, I was conquered by His words and also accepted the gospel of God. With reading God’s words more, I would try to pray to God and betray the flesh and Satan when something displeasing to me came upon me and made me want to lose my temper. Because God says, “On the outside, every step of God’s work on man looks just like interactions between people. It looks like man’s arrangement or disturbance. However, behind each step and each event is a wager that Satan makes in front of God, and it is required that man stand witness for God. Just as when Job was tried, in the background it was a wager between Satan and God, but what Job faced was man’s acts and disturbances. Every step of work God does on you is a wager between Satan and God in the background; there is always a battle in the background.” (from “Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God”) The words of God made me realize that every time I want to lose my temper, there is a wager between Satan and God, testing me whether I will follow the corrupt disposition of the flesh or not. If I follow it, I will fall into Satan’s schemes and lose testimony before God and what I live out will be devilish and satanic image. After experiencing God’s work time and time again, I changed a lot. At home, I can help my mom do some housework; sometimes if I did something wrong and my dad chided me, I would not answer back or slam the door or throw things around…. These changes in me made my parents very surprised. Before, it was no use for them to discipline me, but after I accepted God’s work, the living out of my humanity becomes normal. The words of God cured me of my “princess syndrome.” Dad saw my changes and also accepted God’s work, and it further strengthened my faith to follow God. Thank God!
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