The CCP adopted more contemptible means; God led me to clearly see its substance.
Because the CCP government still continued pursuing me, I could only take a break from performing my duty outside and hide myself again. What was most incredible is that, in order to arrest me, the CCP government made painstaking efforts and used more despicable means: They engraved the charges imposed on me on my ID card and photos, and then put them with criminals’ photos to print into packs of playing-cards for people to play with. Not only that, but they also put my relevant information on the bulletin board in front of the Public Security Bureau’s gate, and even played them on the big screen outside the train station in the county I was staying. Through this it discredited and smeared my name, insulted my character, and restricted my personal freedom.
After hearing this, I couldn’t help but bitterly hate the CCP. I thought: “The CCP is too despicable, too evil, too sinister and ruthless. It actually uses these despicable means to besmirch me in order to have people report me and thus get me arrested. I, walk the right path in life, pursue the truth and live as a true human being, which is truly valuable and meaningful. How could they turn black into white and confuse me with the criminals who committed many evil deeds?” I really wanted to question them: What law have I broken? What illegal things have I done? Why do you do this to me?
I couldn’t help but think of God’s words, “In a dark society such as this, where the demons are merciless and inhumane, how could the king of devils, who kills people in the blink of an eye, tolerate the existence of a God who is lovely, kind, and also holy? How could it applaud and cheer the arrival of God? These lackeys! They repay kindness with hate, they have long since disdained God, they abuse God, they are savage in the extreme, they have not the slightest regard for God, they plunder and pillage, they have lost all conscience, and have not a trace of kindness, and they tempt the innocent into senselessness. Forefathers of the ancient? Beloved leaders? They all oppose God! Their meddling has left all beneath heaven in a state of darkness and chaos! Religious freedom? The legitimate rights and interests of citizens? They are all tricks for covering up sin!”
God’s words fully expose the truth-hating and God-hating demonic substance of the CCP government. From its actions and deeds, I entirely saw through its ugly face. It is an absolute expert fibber, the ultimate cheater in the world, and a demon who hates God! It resists God and doesn’t allow people to believe in the true God or take the right path. As long as we believe in God, it will use “laws” to punish, arrest and persecute us believers. It publicly claims “freedom in religious belief” and “Citizens enjoy legal rights and interests; everyone is equal and free.” It uses these lies and deceptions to disguise itself as a crusader for justice, but instead deceives the people, because it fears most that after people believe in God, they will gain the truth, have an understanding of God’s love, beauty and goodness, distinguish its evil, pretension and malice, and no longer be deceived by it. Therefore, it does its utmost to obstruct people’s belief in God and firmly put people under its control in order to maintain its political regime and turn China into a godless land so that it can achieve its purpose of having eternal dictatorship. Seeing through the CCP’s essence of hating the truth and resisting God, I became even more determined to follow God to the end.
Another informant reward scheme made it impossible for me to have a family reunion.
In May of 2016, because the CCP government hadn’t caught me through using various means such as issuing a warrant on the Internet for my arrest, posting my belief and relevant information on the bulletin board, printing my photos onto poker cards, showing my information on the big screen, and so on, they changed their method and offered a reward of 10,000 RMB to anyone who reported my whereabouts. The notice said, “Our Bureau urges the above suspect to surrender yourself within one month from the date this notice is published to gain the greatest leniency; if you miss the deadline, continue being on the run and refuse to give yourself up, we will severely punish you according to the law…. We demand that the vast masses of people actively cooperate with our Bureau on this work. If you find the suspect described by this notice, you must report to us at once. Between May 1, 2016 and May 31, 2016, those who provide important clues or immediately catch her will be rewarded with 10,000 RMB.”
After the notice was issued, news came in from my relatives in my hometown who believed in God, which said that, being deceived by the rumors crafted by the government, the people in and around my village, and even my relatives and friends all thought that I was wanted by the government for doing unlawful and shameful things, and that the government had spread slander against me everywhere. Upon hearing the news, my brother was worried and anxious, so he ran to my uncle’s home to cry. After I heard this, I couldn’t calm myself and stop my tears from flowing. At the time, I hoped very much to declare loudly and clarify the fact that I didn’t do anything bad and that I just believed in God and trod the right road. I hoped even more that I could immediately just fly to see my younger brother and tell him not to feel sorry for me or worry about me. But I knew that, no matter how much I was concerned for him or anxious to see him, it was just a thought. Once I went back to my home and appeared, there would be the risk of being arrested, imprisoned, tortured and sentenced by the CCP.
With Life Hanging by a Thread, God’s Love Accompanied Me
Because I was still wanted by the CCP government, I could only hide myself in the sister’s room for a long time. Sometimes, if I wanted to open the window and breathe in the fresh air, I had to be quite careful. I was worried that if I was seen and reported by the people next door or across, it would not only put me in danger, but also implicate the sister I was staying with and result in her being charged with “harboring a fugitive.”
Because when I was a teenager, I underwent partial lung removal surgery and the part of my lung that wasn’t removed was also diseased, I should breathe more circulating fresh air and exercise appropriately to increase my breath capacity. But under the wild persecution of the CCP, I was stripped of my chances of freely enjoying the sunshine and breathing air bestowed by God, and I couldn’t even exercise on the balcony. Because I lived my life under these kinds of circumstances for a long time, my diseased lung began to ache. The brothers and sisters advised me to be hospitalized for treatment but I didn’t dare to do so, because the hospital would ask for my identification card to register me and because I was wanted by the CCP. Because of this, I wanted to go home to take good care of myself, but I couldn’t do that either …
Due to the delay of time, my illness became more and more advanced. On the morning when I was in my worst condition, I leaned against the bed, inhaling and exhaling with difficulty. I felt I was on the verge of suffocating and that I was really at the point of death this time. At this moment, Job’s words kept recurring to me: “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah.” I thought of how I had accepted God’s last days’and gained the truth that generations of saints never heard. I had already been shown great favor. Even if I lost my life because of the persecution of the CCP, I would certainly not complain to God, disgracing His name. Thereupon, I strenuously asked the sister to bring me paper and pen. Then I leaned on the sister and used up my final strength to write on the notebook with shaking hands, “God is righteous forever! He is worthy of being extolled and truly deserves praise!” The moment that I finished writing and released my grip, my eyes began to close.
Nevertheless, just when my life was at stake and I thought I wouldn’t have a thread of hope, God’s love accompanied me closely! Having tears in their eyes, the sisters around me held my hands and encouraged me firmly, “Yezi, you must believe these words of God, “If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” Another sister said, “Right! We must believe in God’s authority and His words, and have confidence in Him.” The sisters’ words of encouragement immediately warmed my heart and I was so moved that tears rolled down my cheeks.
At that moment, God’s words once again gave me clear guidance within, “People’s faith is required for when something cannot be seen by the naked eye … it is only from within your faith that you will be able to see God, and when you have faith God will perfect you. Without faith, He cannot do this. … No matter how God works or what kind of environment you are in, if you are able to pursue life, seek to have God’s work carried out within you, and pursue the truth, and if you have an understanding of God’s actions and are able to act according to the truth, then this is your genuine faith and this shows that you have not lost hope in God.” The enlightenment and guidance of God’s words gave me the utmost encouragement and comfort. I thought: The origin of my life is from God. Today, my life and death is even more controlled by God’s hand. If God doesn’t permit me to die, neither Satan’s evil forces nor illness can deprive me of my life. As long as there is a breath left in me, I shouldn’t give up, nor feel disheartened or disappointed with God. Then, I prayed to God in my heart, “O God! Though my life is still hanging by a thread, I’ve deeply felt that you’ve been watching by my side all along. Now I completely entrust myself to You. No matter if I live or die, I’m willing to obey Your arrangements. I believe that whatever You do, You’re righteous. Today, with Your company, I’ll have no complaints or regrets even if I die. If I can continue to live on, I’m willing to pursue the truth wholeheartedly in the future and loyally perform my duty to repay Your great love.”
After the, my breath was gradually revived and my breathing wasn’t that rapid, and my heart was also greatly settled. It made me truly taste God’s wonder and power. I couldn’t help but think of God’s words, “God’s life force can prevail over any power; moreover, it exceeds any power. His life is eternal, His power extraordinary, and His life force not easily overwhelmed by any created being or enemy force. The life force of God exists, and shines its brilliant radiance, regardless of time or place. …”
Seeing that I got my breath back, the sisters breathed a sigh of relief. However, I was seriously exhausted. A sister advised me to be hospitalized for treatment to totally cure my disease. A sister who was about my age risked her life to lend me her identity card. Several sisters accompanied me to the hospital and cared about and looked after me as if they were my relatives. As I saw everything the sisters had done for me, there was an unspeakable feeling that moved my heart. I thought of how, if it had not been for God’s love and care, how could those sisters treat me, who wasn’t their blood relative, better than my own relatives? How could they be willing to risk arrest to help me? Being moved to tears, I could only keep offering a grateful prayer to God in my heart and entrusted all these environments to Him. Thank God! Under God’s care and protection, the CCP didn’t know I was there and the hospital didn’t recognize me. Moreover, my condition gradually became better and better. After a week, I was discharged from the hospital.
After getting through the valley of the shadow of death, I do my utmost to repay God’s love
These few years, I have been continuously wanted and hunted by the CCP government, living a homeless and vagrant life and hiding everywhere. But God’s love has accompanied me all along and He was with me during difficult times. When I was timid and fearful because of being wanted and hunted by the CCP, it was God who used His words to enlighten and lead me and gave me the confidence, so that I had the power to go forward. When I was unable to return home, it was God who provided the refuge for me through the sisters and brothers, so that I could escape arrest. When I was defamed and worried that my relatives and friends misunderstood and ridiculed me and I lived in a passive and weak state, it was God who supported and sustained me, so that I understood the meaning of suffering pain, had discernment of the CCP devils’ essence and had the determination to stand testimony for God. When I hid myself for a long period of time and met with sickness and my life was in the balance, it was God who accompanied me and arranged for the sisters to give me faith and encouragement, enlightened and guided me with His words just in time, wiped my tears and comforted my helpless and despairing heart. It was God who led me through the valley of the shadow of death with His extraordinary life force and supported me to tenaciously go on living.
Though now I’m still living a vagrant life and hiding everywhere, I feel peaceful, certain, and have reliance, because I know that, no matter what environment I’m in, I have God by my side. No matter how hard the CCP government persecutes us, I only wish to use my utmost to pursue the truth and be loyal in doing my duty and fully give my whole heart and love to God to satisfy His heart.